Autistic teen told to call male TA “Mx” & not “Sir” or “Mr *name*

[BethDuttonsTwin]

This happened to dd this morning at school. She then came out of school at told me she no longer wants one to one help in her lessons - her EHCP says 25 hours a week. It’s too difficult to remember what to call him and she’s embarrassed she will get it wrong in front of the other students.

What now? I want to make a formal complaint. Am raging tbh. Can someone tell me who I need to be contacting please? The school are totally woke and rainbow soaked. Thank you.

To be fair i struggle with that as well.

How is it any different to remembering a name? because if you have communication difficulties it adds yet another layer of difficulty and anxiety.

@EpicChaos but the teacher hasn't? As far as we know he has just said oh I prefer to be called mx smith. I can't see any issue with students being exposed to different pronouns/names in a safe and friendly way because they will have to deal with this in their life. Whether you think it's a load of rubbish or not we have to learn to respect other people's choices for themselves.

@ReadersD1gest why's it not ok? Because you don't agree with it? Everyone should call themselves something you agree with? That's not how life works and school is a good place to learn coping strategies for how to deal with different people.

@idontevenknowanyonecalledblurb I can't see any issue with students being exposed to different pronouns/names in a safe and friendly way because they will have to deal with this in their life. Whether you think it's a load of rubbish or not we have to learn to respect other people's choices for themselves. are you aware of the difficulties many Autistics have with pronouns? Because it absolutely IS an issue. They have no fucking choice at all.

No, that is not even close to what I said??
I do plenty of things I'd rather not, if I think there's a reason I should.

I don't respond to unreasonable demands arbitrarily placed upon me by people who have no actual entitlement to do any such thing.
I don't place such demands on others, either.

You're bloody lucky, I was once called Granddad! (Never dad though)

Poor kids are often embarrassed when they use the wrong name. It was my job as the teacher to reassure them that it was just a mistake.

Whether you think it's a load of rubbish or not we have to learn to respect other people's choices for themselves
The irony in this statement is breathtaking.

@Itisbetter surely part of going to a Mainstream school or any school in fact is the ability to learn that you will encounter differences in people and there are ways of dealing with your issues around that. Students - autistic or not can be given help and support to understand differences and how to approach them.

One: names are supposed to be individual.

Two: you think everyone finds names easy to remember? I don't know the names of people I've studies or worked with for years. As for autistic children, you need to experience the joys of organising a birthday party for a child with special needs. Mini-Pots used to make incomprehensible lists of children, because he didn't know what his friends were called. The school receptionist once told me, "but there is no girl called Liberty in his year!"

It turned out his friend was called Libby and had a surname beginning with T.

Tell me you haven't had much experience of dealing with/teaching children who have Autism, without telling me you haven't much experience of dealing with/teaching children who have Autism!

Would you complain if a TA asked your child to call them Mrs instead of Miss after getting married?

I've never yet seen any female teacher, having changed their title, get upset or annoyed when pupils get it wrong. That is the key.

I work in a school and my title is Mrs. I have had miss, Mrs and even mr at times. Not once has it upset me or bothered me. It's not done through malice and children forget and get it wrong all the time 🤷‍♀️

So the key issue for me, is mainly if the TA is going to be annoyed if the child gets it wrong, and how they would go about correcting them.

It's ultimstely gender ideology being broight into the classroom, at the expense of SEND child. It's not on and I support you all the way OP

@Cocobutt Yes but then the OP would miss out on a chance to get out her rage at the "woke" school. Where's the fun in being sensible when you'll miss out on writing strongly worded letters of complaint, tutting at the non-sense 'woke brigade', telling everyone who'll listen that the school is mistreating a child with disabilities, hopefully make it into a newspaper, write to the MPs... the possibilities are endless!

school is a good place to learn coping strategies for how to deal with different people. the persons JOB is to help a child who needs 25 hours a week to access education. Do you have ANY idea the level of need she has to have been awarded that or how tenuous her window to learning must be. SHAME ON YOU for prioritising a choice over a need.

No .

Compelling others to do your bidding is not how life works, actually. People can call themselves whatever they choose, I get a choice too.

@EpicChaos sorry for not agreeing with you... I see you aren't used to that. Some of these comments about going mad because someone wants to be called a recognised title - I was just trying to say you could try turn this into a positive learning experience.

Yes, it is amazing how narcisstic this ideoloy is.

It is HIS JOB to make education easier for her,

Not jer job to validate him.

Is it well used?

I'm 50y and have never yet met anyone using that title. Just asked 49y dh and 20y dd and neither have they. The non-binary people dd knows don't use a title at all.

At school we have a mix of Mr, Mrs, Miss and Ms. Tbh they are all used interchangeably by many of our children - they mix them up constantly! If you work in a school it's normally something you just accept, especially if working with young children or children with differing needs.

I have never met, or seen anyone use Mx.

It is an invention for narcissistic people to be 'special' and to create further drama and attention

That would be some good learning for this TA wouldn't it?

@ReadersD1gest really? You would refuse to call someone their preferred title or name at work because you know better?

Two: you think everyone finds names easy remember? I don't know the names of people I've studies or worked with for years.

Even someone you’re working with day in, day out?

I will say whatever the damn well I please, and I will not play ego games with people who wish to compel my speech.