Stylist magazine deleted my comment on IG

[Mars27]

So, Stylist magazine posted on their Instagram a post earlier today with the "lovely" Charlie Craggs. It's a new weekly campaign from Strong Women UK (oh, the irony).

I can't copy and paste the post from my phone but then that's not really the point. I wrote a comment along the lines of "Hey Stylist, how about interviewing real women to talk about real women's problems such as endometriosis, domestic violence, discrimination at the workplace at the end of your maternity leave, etc?". I started getting abuse and obviously my comment was deleted. The abuse I was getting was from other women and I cannot understand for the life of me how some women cannot see that lived experience as man is different from a woman's, how insulting it is for that person to be taking the space from a female writer and so many issues stemming from that.

I know it's mostly like a generational divide and I feel so sorry for the women of tomorrow as they will be living in a truly horrible world (for them, obviously, as the patriarchy will reign supreme).

No one said anything about prioritising. This is coming out in all the responses I am getting (there are lots!) - an assumption that if I say "let's not drag transgender people" is the same as me saying "they matter more than women and violence against women doesn't exist". Coming back to the original post on this tread, which was someone complaining on an article about someone talking about grief, is this really necessary or important. As people who have been and continue to be subjected to appalling violence and sexism based on how other people have defined our sex and the way we look, can we not see how we might be doing the same thing to transgender people?

I'm not even trying to suggest anyone here is wrong, or undermining peoples feelings or how what they understand being a want to men, all I am saying is have some fucking empathy whether you accept them or not, don't deny their feelings.

I’ve seen a few trans supporters now say that every woman is unique and different so there is no single idea or definition of “woman”. What I don’t understand is why they don’t see that this destroys the category of “woman” altogether. If each individual is a snowflake, with nothing in common, then surely it is erroneous to attach a label to them? The entire concept of a category is to capture something that individuals have in common. If every “woman” is different then there can be no category. Maybe that’s the point? You can’t have women’s rights and women’s liberation if there is no group called “women”.

Yes, we are all unique. We have our own experiences and personalities.

But binds us? Our bodies. It's what makes us women.

Disassociating from our bodies and making womanhood to be about just emotions and feelings is denying concrete reality.

You still can't see it can you?

Yes, @WeeBisom This approach would negate any feeling of community or common ground. It sounds very “divide and rule”.

And of course it’s nonsense.

I'm not even trying to suggest anyone here is wrong, or undermining peoples feelings or how what they understand being a want to men, all I am saying is have some fucking empathy whether you accept them or not, don't deny their feelings.

and I say… gender ideologists first. I will be empathetic when I see empathy. Until then…. No. Where is the empathy towards women from the gender ideologists? When womens feelings about their safety comfort and dignity are denied, why should women have empathy?

My suggestion was that you can't define by any sort of narrow boundaries because people are people and everyone is different

Male and female aren't narrow boundaries though are they.

Just two sex classes that can't be changed.
The rest is simply personality. Infinite possibilities.

It's gender identity ideology that needs and imposes the narrow sex role stereotypes in order to for their claim that male people with certain behaviours are somehow women or female.

all I am saying is have some fucking empathy whether you accept them or not, don't deny their feelings.

I don't accept that their feelings make the women, which is the claim. What about my feelings about the erasure of the female sex category? I don't see why I have to pretend males are women just because they experience a personal traumatic event? Lots of other people have too, including many of the people on this thread. Doubt Charlie would care when labelling us.

I know this thread has moved onto a bit of a back and forth between two posters but just putting my thoughts out.

Charley Craggs is a very flamboyant trans woman. They wear their heart on their sleeve on Instagram and often put up posts condemning 'non-binaries' for their hair dye and for causing the trans community grief with their muddying of the waters. By which I mean, they don't seem to care what other people think of them and are often fighting some backlash they've received because they put something out unfiltered. They can be vicious in their put downs and remind me of a very camp, waspish Queen at times - think of the roasts and put-downs on Ru Paul's drag race and you'll get the picture. That's not saying that that's all they are - but it's very much the outrageous face they often show on their feed.

Sometimes I'm jaw-on-the floor with what they post as it can be soooo outrageous. And sometimes very funny. And crude. And ill-advised. But on this occasion they were writing very movingly about the loss of a very dear friend in the Grenfell fire. Their death had a devastating impact on Charley. I think they'll be writing a book about it soon (with the encouragement and support of Juno Dawson I believe).

Perhaps not the best time to condemn Stylist Magazine for their choice of contributor is all I'm saying. And I think that's probably the main reason why your comments were removed.

with Help from Juno Dawson. Oh yay. Another misogynistic male. That’ll be fun

It's simply the claim that Charlie is a woman that people are objecting to, not that Charlie can write for Stylist or talk about grief.

It just always feels like boundary pushing.

Definitely not, she's the type to name search "herself" and post vile horrible things, have you seen their IG a couple of posts down where they dox a bloke ? I should have know, this person absolutely LOVES publicity

Yes, I have just seen the post, had to delete my comment on the stylist post and lock my account.

As in true fashion for trans women, they think my problem is that "I'm not getting laid". They always reduce EVERYTHING to having sex and appearances. In their sad little head being a woman is about having sex, having gigantic boobs, having long hair and plaster your face with makeup. I do like makeup but, DAMN, I need start saving for a boob job, a new wardrobe that emphasises my body and some Louboutins to go with that. That's what a real woman is, duh! How come I've missed that?

How is centring women in feminism creating violence for transwoman? Because unless there's a stat I'm missing I'll bet it's not gender critical women hurting people.

Maybe trans activists could address the route of this (still staggeringly rare compared to violence on biological women but hey, that cause isn't trendy anymore) violence and deal with other MEN?

I haven't seen anything here condoning it or saying it's ok. No one has said it's acceptable.

Can you specify rights a trans person doesn't have compared to a another person of their birth sex? And I don't mean the right to live free from violence or intimidation as that's a given. The fact it happens to many many people every minute of the day is another discussion but it's not unique to trans people.

Or are you saying trans people by definition of self identification being trans deserve rights others don't?

Being kind includes being honest. Participating in a lie is unhelpful and long term, very unkind.

Surely that works the other way too in that every man is very different. So not one definition of men so a man who doesn't feel stereotypically male is still one just a different type? So no need to claim womanhood? Surely?

@Lilyedem is it kind to tell an anorexic they are indeed fat and do not need help? Or would kindness be being honest and encouraging them to see treatment? Is it kind to pretend a drug addict is perfectly fine and does not need help, or would an honest intervention be kinder? Is it kind to pretend people can change sex, or would it be kinder to say you can present as you wish, but you will always be the sex you are born?

And this is the thing. These feelings transfer to demands and action.

These actions are harming women and young people. But so many people don't seem to give a shit about that

A little sample of the kind of hate lovely Charlie instigates.

"Let me at them"

"I'm glad they got abused"

"Rat in a bin"

"I'm in a fight mode, just need a face".

But remember, be kind people!

Some more

"She needs some sense knocked into her"

Maybe Charlie didn’t get the #bekind memo being pushed on women…
could this because Charlie is in fact not a woman….

Who would have thought, eh?

I don't understand why they want to be women if they are so misogynistic and clearly hateful of women. They pretend to like their "allies" but we all know better, they just tolerate them because they're useful for their cause

Why would you want to be something you hate so much? This is really some fucked up shit.