Stylist magazine deleted my comment on IG

[Mars27]

So, Stylist magazine posted on their Instagram a post earlier today with the "lovely" Charlie Craggs. It's a new weekly campaign from Strong Women UK (oh, the irony).

I can't copy and paste the post from my phone but then that's not really the point. I wrote a comment along the lines of "Hey Stylist, how about interviewing real women to talk about real women's problems such as endometriosis, domestic violence, discrimination at the workplace at the end of your maternity leave, etc?". I started getting abuse and obviously my comment was deleted. The abuse I was getting was from other women and I cannot understand for the life of me how some women cannot see that lived experience as man is different from a woman's, how insulting it is for that person to be taking the space from a female writer and so many issues stemming from that.

I know it's mostly like a generational divide and I feel so sorry for the women of tomorrow as they will be living in a truly horrible world (for them, obviously, as the patriarchy will reign supreme).

I love you, FlirtsWithRhinos.

Timely time to list the rules of misogyny:

1st rule of misogyny: Women are responsible for what men do.
2nd rule of misogyny: Women saying no to men is a hate crime.
3rd rule of misogyny: Women speaking for themselves are exclusionary and selfish.
4th rule of misogyny: Women's opinions are violence against men thus male violence against women is justified.
5th rule of misogyny: Women and Feminism must be useful to men or they are worthless.
6th rule of misogyny: Women who go around being female AT men by menstruating and breast feeding babies deserve punishment.
7th rule of misogyny: Women should always be grateful to men for everything.
8th rule of misogyny: Men are whatever men say they are and women are whatever men say they are.
9th rule of misogyny: Men always know the "real reasons" for everything women do and say.
10th rule of misogyny: The worst thing about male violence is that it makes men look bad.
11th rule of misogyny: whatever women suffer from, it is worse when it happens to men.
12th rule of misogyny: Women's ability to recognize male behavior patterns is misandry.

Wooly nonsense

I think being a woman is about emotions and behaviours and experiences

Sexist as fuck.

For me you are describing 'personhood'.

We are all complex individuals in our own way

I happen to have a vagina, it doesn't define me but it does make me a woman.

It's this conflation of 'woman' with all these things that is making men believe they are women!

When I hear mention of women's equality I'm always reminded of Greer who said that equality was a profoundly conservative aim.The feminists of the 60 and 70's didn't call their movement the women's liberation movement by accident. Who thinks equality within a patriarchal system is desirable?

If I understand you correctly you think "equality" can be achieved by women becoming "unshackled" from our biology. You are failing to understand that women are not shackled by biology but by the socially imposed disadvantages of that biology and that is what feminists are fighting against. Women have not campaigned to be treated as if they are men, that is not equality.

I think being a woman is about emotions and behaviours and experiences as much as it is about vaginas, so we'll never agree and that's ok.

We'll never agree because my position is founded in reality, and yours is based on sexist stereotypes of what you think being a "woman" is about. Charlie is male. Women are female. Charlie has no way of knowing what Charlie feels is a "woman" experience, and cannot experience life as female.

Well yes exactly! That there is no one set of experiences or 'feels' that can define what a woman is, is what makes gender theory such a load of bullshit. That you apparently can't see this is hilarious. A woman is an adult human female and cannot be anything else.

Sorry for being aggressive. Am on my adult human female period

The only thing that ties any experience a woman has to any other woman is all based on her biology. Including infertility, gyne issues, breast cancer etc.

Why the bloody hell do we need separate sexed categories in sports?

Equality isn't treating people the same. It means treating people differently according to specific needs in order to allow equity.

Sex matters.

I wish Stylist would endorse a t-shirt with the rules of misogyny on instead of this - yes, dickpandering - outrage.

thedrop.stylist.co.uk/drops/16-02-2023/products/black-and-beech-feminist-icon-cotton-tshirt

"A guaranteed conversation starter for all the right reasons, we love the dark forest green and pale pink colour combination of Black & Beech’s 100% organic cotton T-shirt, but it’s the message behind it that we’re really here for. Featuring the names of seven feminist icons – from Irish suffragist Constance Markievicz and American activist Marsha P Johnson, to English mathematician Ada Lovelace and of course the inimitable Dolly Parton – it’s the perfect T-shirt to wear on International Women’s Day and beyond."

One of these 'feminist icons' is not like the others. Not a woman, not a feminist.

The WHOLE point of feminism is to liberate women from biological essentialism. Make sure they have what they need to not be discriminated against.

Eg: appropriate menopausal care so that they aren't having to give up careers in their 40s

Classic example of making women buy shit shit winter

Womanhood is entirely about being female though.

Lily, can you give us 1 clearly defined, concrete thing (not a stereotype like wearing high heels) that transwomen have in common with all women - and do not share with any men?

@Lilyedem do you think the Taliban are basing who they ban from society based on feelings and emotions of those persons or on biological sex? Do girls in Pakistan get killed at birth because they have the wrong feelings, or because of biology? Do girls in Nepal get sent to freezing, isolated huts every month because they have the wrong emotions? Do girls in Africa get mutilated because they are having the wrong feelings?

are you so racist as to suggest that only women in the western world are special women who can be women because of feelings, experiences and emotions whilst women in those countries are the old fashioned women who are only women because of their biology. To use an MN oldie…. Do fuck off dear

@Lilyedem

I am rubbish at all the performative bits of womanhood (you know, the ones that are generally held up as badges of femininity by any trans woman with a profile)- crap at make up, getting dressed, great at sport, science. I do far more than my fair share at home and have been socialised to make other people happy from childhood and be kind on account of having a vagina. I have had to choose jobs carefully based on my intentions to get pregnant

What do I have in common with a male who decides to transition in his 30s that I couldn't have in common with any other male?

Do you think that those trans women who threaten to rape people on the internet who disagree with them, or who send death threats to JK Rowling are exhibiting normal woman behaviour and emotions?

...and American activist Marsha P Johnson

FFS Marshall was a gay man and a drag queen, he NEVER said he identified as a woman. Why do TRA's insist on posthumously transing people?

Again responses like this just highlight how narrowed a perception of the world you have - no one is saying violence against women because of their biology does not exist, those challenging your ideas are merely saying that we can defend violence against women while also not creating a cycle or violence against another group. Men (and some women) continue to act violently against women because of our biological sex, we experience violence because of how we appear (e.g. what we wear). None of this is acceptable, but it is equally not acceptable for those who are on the receiving end of violence to be subjected to it all the same. P.s saying "fuck off dear" isn't do much help if you're looking to defend your position on the grounds of what is good for women

You don't understand why your position is sexist, do you?

Women send death threats and threaten violence so I'm not sure what you mean by normal women behaviour

Have a look at the sex, regardless of "gender" of the vast majority of people sending death threats to feminists on the internet.

Well as you seem to think including males into womanhood is good for women…. I pay as much attention to your opinion on my behaviour as I do to my cats views on quantum physics….

Men (and some women) continue to act violently against women because of our biological sex,

So you do actually know what a woman is?

As a "biological female from birth" I find it very reductive that womanhood is being defined once again by whether I have a uterus, and once again my womanhood and existence is based on my capacity to breed - I thought we fought to get past that? Why are we going backwards?

No, transwomen are forcing these discussions backwards. Not feminism.

Sex is defined in law to enable the sex specific rights women need to move beyond 'the capacity to breed.'

And as such trans men also have access to these rights enshrined in law based on their sex.

If what you wear and which magazine you're in makes you a woman, we really are going backwards.

So did we ever get to the bottom of which feelings, experiences and emotions define women yet? @Lilyedem ?