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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

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Original poster

Stylist magazine deleted my comment on IG

171 replies

Mars27 · 18/02/2023 21:15

So, Stylist magazine posted on their Instagram a post earlier today with the "lovely" Charlie Craggs. It's a new weekly campaign from Strong Women UK (oh, the irony).

I can't copy and paste the post from my phone but then that's not really the point. I wrote a comment along the lines of "Hey Stylist, how about interviewing real women to talk about real women's problems such as endometriosis, domestic violence, discrimination at the workplace at the end of your maternity leave, etc?". I started getting abuse and obviously my comment was deleted. The abuse I was getting was from other women and I cannot understand for the life of me how some women cannot see that lived experience as man is different from a woman's, how insulting it is for that person to be taking the space from a female writer and so many issues stemming from that.

I know it's mostly like a generational divide and I feel so sorry for the women of tomorrow as they will be living in a truly horrible world (for them, obviously, as the patriarchy will reign supreme).

OP posts:
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Ereshkigalangcleg · 22/02/2023 10:08

So did we ever get to the bottom of which feelings, experiences and emotions define women yet? @Lilyedem ?

I wonder if I'm finally going to find out, after asking probably thousands of genderists! Beyond excited to learn if I make the grade!

FOJN · 22/02/2023 10:09

...while also not creating a cycle or violence against another group.

The majority of violent crimes are committed by men.

WOMEN ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR THE BEHAVIOUR OF VIOLENT MEN

So please fuck off with that misogynistic crap.

tackytriceratops · 22/02/2023 10:10

It's not your fault @Lilyedem, you've been taught by social pressures to be kind to men.

It's entirely ok to say no thank you. And that's not hate. That's drawing boundaries.

Lilyedem · 22/02/2023 10:14

I'm not sure what you mean? My suggestion was that you can't define by any sort of narrow boundaries because people are people and everyone is different

tackytriceratops · 22/02/2023 10:15

So how do you ensure that the rights of women are enshrined by law? If anyone can be female.

tackytriceratops · 22/02/2023 10:16

Why do we have disabilities enshrined in law?

Lilyedem · 22/02/2023 10:16

NO THEY ARE NOT but doesn't mean we need to condone or not care about violence against transgender people - which honestly feels like what most of the people in this thread are suggesting

Igneococcus · 22/02/2023 10:16

In systematics we try to find the absolute minimum definition for a phylogenetic group, like the definition for mammals is so basic that you wouldn't be able to picture a tiger or a naked mole rat based on the definition of mammal but both tiger and naked mole rat fall within the class Mammalia based on our minimal requirements for being included. It's the same for women, if you reduce the definition of women down to gametes, it means every human who produces eggs during the fertile phases of their lives (with a proviso for DSDs), no matter her personality or how she presents or her emotions is included. It's the opposite of limiting.

Ereshkigalangcleg · 22/02/2023 10:18

NO THEY ARE NOT but doesn't mean we need to condone or not care about violence against transgender people - which honestly feels like what most of the people in this thread are suggesting

No they aren't. It's just that violence against male people isn't violence against women and girls. It's ok to prioritise women and girls, it doesn't mean you hate men and boys.

tackytriceratops · 22/02/2023 10:18

Lilyedem · 22/02/2023 10:16

NO THEY ARE NOT but doesn't mean we need to condone or not care about violence against transgender people - which honestly feels like what most of the people in this thread are suggesting

Where? Mn take a harsh stance on that.

Happylittlechicken · 22/02/2023 10:18

Lilyedem · 22/02/2023 10:16

NO THEY ARE NOT but doesn't mean we need to condone or not care about violence against transgender people - which honestly feels like what most of the people in this thread are suggesting

Why? Why should women prioritise the needs of transpeople above the needs for women? Are you also telling men to do this? If not, why? We are not everyone’s mum. It’s not our job to look after everyone.

tackytriceratops · 22/02/2023 10:18

Saying 'no you're not a woman' to a man is not violence.

senua · 22/02/2023 10:19

Lilyedem · 22/02/2023 10:16

NO THEY ARE NOT but doesn't mean we need to condone or not care about violence against transgender people - which honestly feels like what most of the people in this thread are suggesting

Please stop misrepresenting our position. It doesn't help your cause.

Lilyedem · 22/02/2023 10:19

I'm just suggesting kindness all around, don't see how it benefits anyone not to be. You can say no thank you, you can feel like you are a woman and they are not, but do you need to publicly come for them in comments on an article they have written about their friend dying in a fire along with 70 other people? Probably not. And then when that comment gets deleted find somewhere else to discuss the ways in which that person was not worthy of sharing their feelings on that platform? Again, probably not. Who does that help?

You can believe that transgender people are men but the problem here is the need to constantly remind people of that

Ereshkigalangcleg · 22/02/2023 10:20

You're not actually suggesting kindness all round, though. You're putting males first.

Lilyedem · 22/02/2023 10:20

One comment literally said we shouldn't care about violence against them because they are men

CharlotteOwlFace · 22/02/2023 10:21

@Mars27 they (she?) has lifted your post here for their insta account

FWIW I agree with you OP.

Ereshkigalangcleg · 22/02/2023 10:21

You can believe that transgender people are men

Have you forgotten that "trans men" who are biologically female exist?

Whatsnewpussyhat · 22/02/2023 10:22

I understand what you are saying but I also think we society needs to stop ignoring, belittling, diminishing and keeping down those who find themselves stuck in a limbo, not feeling like they identity as male and experiencing serious mental health consequences being forced into that box

The box isn't male though. That's simply a persons unchangeable sex class. The box is the stereotypes imposed on men regarding appearance and behaviour.
We are happy for them to be free of these stereotypes and wear dresses etc or be more feminine. But not liking being male doesn't make them women or female because by claiming this you are just enforcing bullshit sexist stereotypes of 'woman' onto all females.

You don't broaden the scope of womanhood by adding men.

Gender identity ideology is misogynistic to its core.

peanutbuttertoasty · 22/02/2023 10:24

Lilyedem · 22/02/2023 10:14

I'm not sure what you mean? My suggestion was that you can't define by any sort of narrow boundaries because people are people and everyone is different

So how can someone identify as a woman if 'woman' is so meaningless as to be indefinable?
What traits or behaviours is a man 'identifying into' when they identify 'as a woman'?
Curious to hear an answer that is not inherently sexist, but I suspect you can't give one can you?

Happylittlechicken · 22/02/2023 10:24

I'm just suggesting kindness all around, don't see how it benefits anyone not to be. You can say no thank you, you can feel like you are a woman and they are not, but do you need to publicly come for them in comments on an article they have written about their friend dying in a fire along with 70 other people? Probably not. And then when that comment gets deleted find somewhere else to discuss the ways in which that person was not worthy of sharing their feelings on that platform? Again, probably not. Who does that help?

So do you think death threats, rape threats, women losing their jobs, violence and doxing is kind? Are you telling gender ideologists to be kind? Are you telling men to be kind and accept gender non conforming men into their. spaces? If not, why not? Do you believe women deserve all of the above for refusing to say TWAW?

senua · 22/02/2023 10:24

Lilyedem · 22/02/2023 10:20

One comment literally said we shouldn't care about violence against them because they are men

Hang on, a minute ago it was "most of the people in this thread".
I'm confused.

Forfrigz · 22/02/2023 10:25

Just makes me laugh that billions of years of evolution have defined the female genotype and fellas think they can wander into Superdrug and buy a lippy for 12.99 and think it makes them female. The arrogance is on a different scale.

peanutbuttertoasty · 22/02/2023 10:31

@Grumpybutfunny "sexual assault is rare in this country"?
Careful sweetie, your male privilege is showing

Ereshkigalangcleg · 22/02/2023 10:31

Hang on, a minute ago it was "most of the people in this thread".
I'm confused.

I'm not seeing this "literal" quote that no one needs to care about violence towards MTF trans people, can you quote please, @Lilyedem?