Trans and losing my mind...

[bluepetergeneration]

Posting here in good faith. And I'll leave that at that.

I'm a TS. I was born male. I don't normally post on mumsnet but I started using it as I have a 1 year old DD. I won't tell my whole life story, that would be self indulgent, so I'll just say what I came here to say.

I'm sick to death of my community. I'm sick of the misogyny. I'm under no illusion that I'm a woman or ever will be. I transitioned when I was very young so I pass, but I still now only use female bathrooms when there's no other option (such as a disabled bathroom- I would feel unsafe in the mens). What I have is a disorder- it was crippling- and now I live my life so that I can actually enjoy it and not feel 'wrong'.

The idea of self-ID sickens me, and I'm tired of having to have the same conversations over and over again with other trans people who accuse me of being some kind of self hating transsexual just because I care about the safety of women. I also care about the safety of my kid. Partly because I'm worried she'll be in danger because I'm trans, and also because I don't want her to get caught up in all these weird messages that being trans isn't a disorder around dysphoria (which it is).

I guess I'm posting this to say that in this fight, trans people with genuine dysphoria who aren't delusional will be standing right beside you.

Also a plea to not paint all of us with the same brush. You can fight for the rights of trans people (like me, I should be able to present female and not get attacked, and when I was in my late teens and still looked a bit male I did get attacked) and also be gender critical

not if 'open'.... only light snacks sealed and on their way to be eaten somewhere else. That is a strict 'no'.

TRAs keep telling us that a GRC makes no difference to what spaces trans people use. Are they wrong?

This man parades as a woman in women's spaces, I am appalled and do not see why us women should be put at risk.

There are, as we know many other men posing as woman, coercing our young people to take life changing hormones which will damage their fertility forever!

An example of which is this man I met at Christmas in a band Stolen Peace near Manchester. The band was okay the usual quality of cover band you know. I went to use the loos and there he was bold as brass.

I later find out he wears women's clothes through the day and says he is called Marianne giving hormones and letters for surgery to children at a company called GenderGP.

So sorry you are wrong to be in woman's spaces

The OP's child is adopted.

Hang on. I know exactly the person you mean. Are you saying that they were presenting as an ordinary man in the evening, and still turning up in the women's toilets?

How do you prove you've been using women's spaces? Selfies in the women's loo?

Yes he was dressed and sang as a man and regually does.

TRA say that a GRC only changes how they are married and burried.

Wait - is someone, somewhere lying?

And I suppose we're to believe that M had to use the women's toilets for safety. The male attendees would have taken one look at M's masculine attire and become enraged at M's presence, would they?

"I'm as GC as they come, for fucks sake. I go to the protests and distribute flyers and donate money AND post here."

So you think this is an echo chamber, yet you are on this board and you have a differing opinion. You are here expressing it, so how then is this an echo chamber.

If you have been on this board, you will understand that the emotional manipulation that you are personally using in your posts are the same ones that so many other posters use to censure other posters, and may have been used on you too.

Saying it is an echo chamber, using ripping into is actually mirroring the emotionally manipulative tactics and dishonesty that extreme trans activists use on here nearly every single day. Once you start posting censuring posts, using these words and tactics, what did you believe the response would be?

They don’t really. I can’t be banned from a female only space on the grounds of my sex, a male with a female GRC can.

If I was the male first born I would inherit any title associated. A female with a male GRC can’t.

There is now some confusion thrown up by the Haldane judgement but this is currently a contested area and very arguable.

A male without a GRC is not entitled to be in any female only space.

As I perceive it - the OP was open and honest and has stated that they do use women's toilet at present, but only when no other viable options are available ( yes, they could use the men's, but would feel even more uncomfortable doing so).

They transitioned a long time ago and are fully -re-assigned, with a GRC. A long time before most of us here were even aware of this issue, for the reason that radical trans activism just wasn't a thing and Stonewall had yet to start their campaign in centering the 'T'. The vast majority of us had never likley come across a man in the women's toilets or changing rooms, and it was just not an issue.

Only in more recent times has this become an obvious issue - and now we are more likley to encounter males infemale only spaces and facilities. this will include males who do not have dysphoria and have no intention of full re-assignment. stonewall and others have encouraged people to believe that anyone who identifies as a woman already has the right to access female spaces, when they don't.

Women are rightly feeling very angry because their boundaries and integrity as women is being violated, and as a result some TW who have been using the women's facilities for years ( because there has not before been any 'neutral' facilities) are now caught up in the ensuing storm. It was always inevitable that the lines would be redrawn very firmly and result in them now being excluded from spaces they have been using for a long time.

The OP states they would like to see third spaces/gender neutral facilities going forward ( in addition to single sex spaces) so that their needs could be met without compromising women's needs for privacy and dignity. I think that is something we can all agree on.

I didnt even know about him parading as a woman in the day time. If he wants to do that in the privacy of his own home great but not in the female loos when I need a wee.

And for readers of this thread.

Here it is again.

This is the reason that feminists have been pushed into now petitioning to have the language around ALL laws made very clear.

Because some male people believe that some legal clause has meant they are entitled to believe they have changed sex in the material reality.

It is people who believe that a legal clause means they can use female single sex spaces that has meant that female single sex spaces have to be reclaimed one by one using exceptions.

We have been told that such people 'respect' women. The reality is, people who claim a legal certificate makes them a female and that they will continue to use female single sex spaces because 'legally' they can, do not respect women at all.

When you see it, you will never unsee it.

So says someone who is not female and only has the perspective of a male person who is living their life as they believe a female would live it.

Please stop telling women what women should expect or need.

Not so great if you're married to them and also live in that home.

It must be distressing to know that so many people disagree with the government on this. It must make trans people question everyone and every one of their interactions.

The government probably never thought this aspect through.

As I perceive it - the OP was open and honest and has stated that they do use women's toilet at present, but only when no other viable options are available ( yes, they could use the men's, but would feel even more uncomfortable doing so).

Uncomfortable? You seem very concerned that the OP shouldn't feel 'uncomfortable', but the fact that this male person is in the women's toilet could make any of the women and girls in there feel not just uncomfortable, but also unsafe. Why do you save all your sympathy and concern for this one male person and seem not to care at all about all the women and girls who this male's actions affect?

Yeah actually. I had to take a disposable camera into the women's toilets and take a picture of myself in the mirror. Sorry but it's the gender identity clinic rules, From my understanding real-life experience is no longer a requirement to transition

I later find out he wears women's clothes through the day and says he is called Marianne giving hormones and letters for surgery to children at a company called GenderGP.

So 'Marianne' isn't a transsexual, as claimed on the GenderGP site, but just a male transvestite in a wig and a dress?

Wow! I had no idea. I have come across this individual who counsels children and advocates and assists them in taking puberty blockers etc. which would halt their development at a young age and in the case of a male child, would help them more effectively pass as female like pp describes.

Yet this person clearly enjoys the option of presenting as fully male when they choose (which might come in handy in many circumstances when male privilege is useful) which would prevent these youngsters ever having that option and also encouraging them to give it up at a young age.

So this isn’t a desperate dysphoria as we are led to believe, this is a choice. And while exercising that choice, this person still is happy to ride roughshod over women’s boundaries without even a pretext that they are driven by fear or dysphoria.

Wow!

Is that really the case? Did you really have to show or demonstrate that you used single sex spaces in order to get a GRC? Was that a condition?

I thought you simply had to show commitment to re-assignment and present and " live as" a woman ( whatever that means) for a certain period of time.

Quite.

Women who have lived their lives as actual females do tend to be able to see why 'we' need a blanket ban @Bathhy.

Someone is either female or not, a woman or not. If the government give you a certificate with 'female' on it, but at the same time, say there are exceptions to you being female. Do they really think you are female?

There's always going to be situations where females are permitted, but males (regardless of government issued certificates) are not. If the government see you are male sometimes, they know you aren't female.

@NotHavingIt
As I perceive it - the OP was open and honest and has stated that they do use women's toilet at present, but only when no other viable options are available ( yes, they could use the men's, but would feel even more uncomfortable doing so).

In other words, the OP does have another viable option, but prefers not to make use of it.

The OP states they would like to see third spaces/gender neutral facilities going forward ( in addition to single sex spaces) so that their needs could be met without compromising women's needs for privacy and dignity.

And in the meantime, the OP will continue to use the wrong sex toilets with no regard to women's objections.
No.