Trans and losing my mind...

[bluepetergeneration]

Posting here in good faith. And I'll leave that at that.

I'm a TS. I was born male. I don't normally post on mumsnet but I started using it as I have a 1 year old DD. I won't tell my whole life story, that would be self indulgent, so I'll just say what I came here to say.

I'm sick to death of my community. I'm sick of the misogyny. I'm under no illusion that I'm a woman or ever will be. I transitioned when I was very young so I pass, but I still now only use female bathrooms when there's no other option (such as a disabled bathroom- I would feel unsafe in the mens). What I have is a disorder- it was crippling- and now I live my life so that I can actually enjoy it and not feel 'wrong'.

The idea of self-ID sickens me, and I'm tired of having to have the same conversations over and over again with other trans people who accuse me of being some kind of self hating transsexual just because I care about the safety of women. I also care about the safety of my kid. Partly because I'm worried she'll be in danger because I'm trans, and also because I don't want her to get caught up in all these weird messages that being trans isn't a disorder around dysphoria (which it is).

I guess I'm posting this to say that in this fight, trans people with genuine dysphoria who aren't delusional will be standing right beside you.

Also a plea to not paint all of us with the same brush. You can fight for the rights of trans people (like me, I should be able to present female and not get attacked, and when I was in my late teens and still looked a bit male I did get attacked) and also be gender critical

trans is an adjective

Did you miss the bit where the OP said they wouldn't be reading any more posts? Including yours, presumably.

I didn't actually. Thanks for telling me

What is the point of that post, other than to announce, publicly, that women everyone will have their boundaries violated, whether they like it or not?

It's wild to me that's what you took away from my post.

I agree. I don't know why OP posted here.

I use mumsnet because I have a son and raising a child is difficult.

'trans' is a 'word that adds or removes the 'wo' from 'man' or 'woman'.

Purely grammatical, nothing to do with material reality.

Women are not your support animals.

You violate our boundaries and then chummy up to carry on arranging to violate our boundaries, in a female only space, whilst violating our boundaries.

Why can't you guys support each other to use the male resources that are provided for you? In your own space, in your own time?

I know how hard raising children is.

It would be a lot easier if I didn’t need to push back against the attacks on women and children’s rights while it do it.

But not one that should be used to describe a woman.

Here are some adjectives that can be used with impunity to describe a woman. Or many women.

old, young, pregnant, menopausal, black, white, confused, Welsh, feisty, hilarious, tired, clever, employed, unemployed, intelligent, athletic, lazy, fat, skinny, determined, angry, militant, busty, bleeding, breastfeeding, fertile, adult ,human , female. Though the last is tautology when paired with woman.

There are lots more. This is enough for the moment.

I have no objection to the word transwoman btw, since to me this is a word that someone can use to describe themselves but does not have the weight of the linguistic , biological and social values of the word woman.

It literally means ‘across/cross’ right? Like ‘Trans Europe Express’ means ‘cross Europe Express’.

It sort of makes sense like “trans vestite” describes a “cross dresser”.

Being “trans” means what? A “cross person”. Well can’t really cross from being one person to another, can we? “Transwoman” doesn’t make sense. You can’t have a “cross woman” (pissed off one, maybe 😆).

I have no objection to the word transwoman

I do, the word woman should never be used to describe a man imo. That’s why I was happy the OP described himself as a ‘transsexual’.

Agreed.
The whole movement has done itself no favours.
I suspect there were a lot of women who were quite happy (or who didn't give it much thought) for TW to describe themselves as such, but the last few years of TW ARE WOMEN! (literally) and the massive push into eliminating our language and safe spaces, has made many of us question the way we refer to males identifying as "women".
I genuinely feel sorry for "old school" trans persons.

The TRA have probably made a lot of their lives very much more difficult.

The word women means adult human female. Men are not a subset of women.
And that's my position on it now, pushed into this mainly because I will NOT be force-fed the current narrative, and I will NOT comply with compelled speech.

You've got the TRAs to thanks for this.

Fair comment. I agree transsexual is a better word. Though it does imply that changing sex is a possibility. As does transwoman I suppose. We need a new word .

I've gone off transsexual too. Don't know what else to use though- 'person with a sex-related body dysmorphia' is accurate (though not for exhibitionists and voyeurs) but seems rather blunt as well as long winded.

But anything to get away from using 'gender' to refer to anything outside grammar.

Agree @EndlessTea transwomen are not women and it is insulting and downright offensive that they have helped themselves to that word and insisted they are part of the category of women, they are not.

Fair comment. I agree transsexual is a better word. Though it does imply that changing sex is a possibility. As does transwoman I suppose. We need a new word .

I can't put it on here as it will be deleted but it should be the word trans followed by the biological sex of the person. That would stop the muddying of the waters which has led to some confusion in the minds of some of the public as to which term applies to which sex.

Keep it simple.

Yes. You can’t change or “cross” sex, so it doesn’t work. It’s a step up from calling themselves women.

I think transvestite or crossdresser is most apt.

Perhaps there should be a name for those who have had their penises removed. Eunuch?

There are the other medical interventions too though, so it’s not just clothes.

Maybe, ‘medically feminised man’?

It's wild to me that gender-critical people talk about trans people so much but still don't understand the difference between dysphoria and dysmorphia

medically feminised man

I honestly kind of like this definition.

"I'm not MTF I'm MFM."

Dysphoria - sadness
Dysmophia - a negative mistaken perception about form

A man in a dress is a man in a dress,no matter what he's had chopped off.

We not talking about trans people though. We're talking about males in female spaces not being acceptable no matter how they identify.

It's wild to me when genderists try to deny it's all about appearance.

Except for the voyeurs and exhibitionists.

Many (maybe most) people born male (men) who adopt the trans definition are not medically feminised. And a very big proportion of people who identify as 'trans' were born female and are women.

Genderism is a cruel ideology in its narrow minded attitude to sex roles and the limits of human potential. Playing along with a mental health problem in order to sell damaging medical interventions is wrong.

And then there are the exhibitionists and voyeurs.

#thesupportanimalsarerevolting

<dons red beret>

you won't get support here

Women are not human support resources. Although, that might jar, it reeks of male entitlement to use women as support resources, or shields for protection.

No matter what people who thoughtlessly support trans people tell them, what they want to hear, the blunt truth needs to be told. And it needs to be heard. Not dismissed as ‘hate’, just because others have perpetrated what has been in effect a lie because a whole community demanded it.

So, will a male who insists that they continue to use the women’s toilets, despite there being transitioned males using male toilets even now without incident, get ‘support’? No. They fucking won’t.

But then, telling women that ‘trans’ is an adjective is just offensive in the light of what has been happening.

Tran is not an adjective for ‘women’. It is entire word in itself.

Woman who are confident in their own skin are those who aren't that bothered about a man seeing them undressed or in underwear.

You are free to get your kit off in front of any bloke you like at any time.

Third spaces.

You can strip off in front of blokes to your hearts' content, TQ+ people can have an alternative facility to sex based ones without destroying other people's access and inclusion, and women who need female only spaces can have their privacy, and everyone's needs are met. That would be actual inclusion.

And yes, obvs, you can have a sticker for being so very, very cool and progressive in the truly grim and cold Woke Way, and being so much better than females with lives and challenges and issues you apparently either remain naive about or simply aren't able to understand. But they're only women after all.