Sex not gender, No Outsiders changing the Equality Act, DepHead/DSL captured

[Vebrithien]

Well, here we are, with a whole new thread!

www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/4713725-please-help-gender-not-sex-on-a-school-protected-characteristics-poster-just-spoken-to-the-head?page=10&reply=123546552

Thank you all, so so much for the support you have given me.

I am currently working on the draft of the message I want to send.

Long story short, DD's primary school displays posters by No Outsiders, showing the 9 protected characteristics of the Equality Act. Sex as been replaced with gender.

I have raised this with the Head, the assistant Head, and the Deputy Head (DepHead, as DH just doesn't work here). I have been reassured that sex is synonymous with gender in law, and, through an email stream, No Outsiders have reassured the school that it is deliberate, gender is easier to teach children than sex, especially as some will snigger at sex.

Oh, and teaching that gender is the difference between boys and girls, it makes it easier to then explain gender reassignment later on.

I'll put the message from the DepHead and No Outsiders here, and also my reply, in its current state.

Thank you all again!

Here's the non statutory guidance that schools can use to ban a parent from school.
https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/controlling-access-to-school-premises/controlling-access-to-school-premises

It does sound as if the Dep Head is spiralling out of control with all this and you're going to have to go through the whole formal complaints process

If I was the parent who'd been on the receiving end of that inappropriate phone call telling me to take my child elsewhere (and then been banned from the school!) I would consider paying a solicitor to send a mild "what's all this about then" letter to the head teacher (not the deputy) rather than writing myself. But it depends what she/you can afford.

@Vebrithien I'd suggest Sex Matters - I suspect they know some good lawyers. I'd donate A LOT of money to any crowdfund for legal representation for the parent who the Dep Head has arbitrarily banned. I would be taking a lawyer to any meeting with the school about this supposed witchhunt investigation and what exactly the basis for it is, other than that the Deputy Head is bullying the parent.

Every update is worse - so the child of a parent who happens to believe gender ideology shouldn't be taught as fact in schools and has discussed that privately with other parents now is going to be singled out? That is NOT in the child's best interest. Of course all the other children will be asking why that child is going in via the school office.

As a parent, I would refuse to do this, it's ceding ground. That parent has done nothing wrong and should not have to do this. I very much hope the Headteacher overrules this immediately.

The Deputy Head clearly cares more about gender ideology than about a child in the school who, by their actions, they are now setting up to be seen as different from their peers / open to potential bullying. If other kids bullied this child as a result do we have any confidence the Deputy Head would do anything about it? I don't. It shows a horrendous failure to fulfil the school's responsibilities to this child. Why isn't the Headteacher stepping in?

In the meantime I'd either not send my child to school or send them in with someone else. But of course maybe singling out the child and making their life miserable in school is the Deputy Head's intent to get them to move schools. Horrendous, just horrendous.

Vebrithien · Today 12:22

Banned friend is going to email, with her feelings from the phone call and the message, to the Head, asking for someone other than the DepHead to complete this investigation. She is going to make it a complaint about how she has been treated.

What an awful position she's been put in and as Dimorphism says, the child will no doubt become the subject of rumours. As Amaryllis says, taking a solicitor to any meeting is a very good idea.

I think I love you.

Have sent messages to TT, SSA and SM.

Will see if there is any response.

It's a bit difficult, since although I am involved in complaining against this, I am not the parent actually banned. I have offered to put the directly affected parent in contact, which I think is all I can currently do.

Feel so awful for her. She didn't understand why the school wouldn't just not teach her child about transgender people, and instead of explaining the schools reasons, the DepHead has called her views potentially offensive, and told her to consider putting her children into a different school.

@Vebrithien have you thought about sending the Head links to Rachel Meade and Jo Phoenix’s ET judgements.

Both of these should send shivers down the spine for senior managers and employers who don’t recognise GC views are protected and this type of behaviour is potentially discriminatory.

The Deputy Head has not followed the procedure outlined in that government document. Parents have an implied license to come on site to drop off and pick up their children. It should have been in writing and the parent should have had a right of reply.

Instead, in a call and not in writing, and then claims to be 'investigating' the parent rather than the parent having the right to present their side.

Is this the same person who threatened to report you for defamation (I think?) @Vebrithien because you spoke to other parents about your / their concerns on Whatsapp? Demonstrating a total lack of understanding of defamation law.

If so, they have form for being a bully verbally to parents. Or was that the Assistant Head (who I will henceforth refer to as Ass Head) Really unprofessional behaviour from anyone near to a headship position. It's unacceptable for parents to be bullied in this way.

It was the Assistant Head who phoned me, the only male on the SLT, but the DepHead has also send out the parental code of conduct again (to all parents) with the threat of reporting any defamatory comments to the police.

I have my suspicions that the Assistant Head, who seems like a genuinely nice chap, with his own Christian faith, was delegated the job to contact me, as the only bloke, and as the most junior of the SLT.

Schools bar parents for serious acts - usually of aggression / violence. In all my years in LAs and schools I've never come across a parent being barred for questioning the school about the curriculum (and I've been involved in a number of cases). The exception to the aggression rule was where a parent was a sex offender but that's dealt with in a multi agency way where risk is assessed.
It's a massive over reach by the school.

I'd be asking for the school to put in writing:
What are their reasons for barring the parent from the school?
Assuming that the conversation (initiated by the DH) was "polite" is the ban because the parent has expressed concerns about inappropriate materials used by the schools?
Or is it that the DH disapproves of the parent's views?
Or something else?

Ask them to write and explain what legislation they are using to bar the parent from normal parental communication / interaction with staff?

What has been said to the child (if anything) by the school to explain why their parent has been banned?

The DH appears to be bullying a child and parent in order to coerce them to accept the DH's view on transgender ideology. Parents should never be stopped from raising concerns about a school breaching its requirement to be politically neutral and /or using age inappropriate materials with children.

"Another parent has shared that you were speaking about the school negatively and about how much we teach “transgender/LGBTQ+"

"In line with our parental code of conduct you have a responsibility to ‘respect the ethos, vision and values of our school’ and if you have any concerns follow the procedures outlined. However, as we discussed if you have fundamental issues with our curriculum or the way we teach them other local schools are available."

"It would be really helpful if you could email me with anything else you recall that you said so I can complete a balanced investigation into concerns raised by (...)."

"Please do adhere to dropping off and collecting at the office until further notice to safeguard yourself and (...) who have shared their concerns."

Apparently, two children complained.

This is all she has heard.

@Vebrithien "... the DepHead has also send out the parental code of conduct again (to all parents) with the threat of reporting any defamatory comments to the police."

Is the Dep Head scared of some other parent and maybe has given (rash) assurances to this other parent? They want to stop conversations on this school-wide.This threat needs to be mentioned and an example of what they consider defamatory would be good. Facts are not defamatory.

This calling someone by phone rather than emailing suggests that they may either have

a) thought that this parent would have agreed with them if singled out from the rest of the bolshy herd. Targeting a perceived weaker/friendlier member of the group. Or

b) be trying to sway/remove/target this person in particular perhaps because they are extra influential with/connected with other parents?

Is it possibly the case that the DepHead started the conversation by wanting to persuade your friend for one of the reasons above and ended up losing it? This phone call followed the milder message from your group and a gap of 3 weeks (if I have understood) so perhaps the DepHead was taken by surprise that far from going off the boil on this the group was in a white hot rage.

c) they could have an alcohol problem ...

Perhaps.

The DepHead goes by Ms. We have no idea of her home background. We have wondered if she has 'skin in the game' so to speak.

I found it interesting that the message from the DepHead to the banned parent, did not mention at all, that the banned parent holds her views due to her religious beliefs. As does the banned parents DH.

Defamation is a civil matter, not a police matter.

Yarp, I know @Ereshkigalangcleg

The DH of one of us, is a lawyer.

Sadly, the school doesn't know, or doesn't seem to recognise it.

Tbh, as the Dep H is escalating / spiralling I think I'd take a step backwards and ponder. Speak to Sex matters as they've access to lawyers. I'm not a lawyer but the DH is all over the place and conflating so many issues /procedures.

Allegedly criticising the school based on another parent complaining? Ok - where's the evidence?
An investigation into parents under what policy? I'm genuinely not sure how a school investigates parents (as opposed to an incident involving children or a member of staff) but the latter are covered by very clear procedures and as the DH appears to have jumped to punishment before completing their "investigation", I suspect they're tying themselves in procedural knots.

Illegally barring the parent from the school. What are the legal grounds?

Ask for clarification about the safeguarding comment. Suggesting the parent is a safeguarding risk? Or is the parent at risk from an unhinged adult in the school?
Potential religious discrimination against parents for their religious beliefs?

At the heart of this is the school using potentially age inappropriate, politically biased materials despite previous reassurances to the contrary.

But... if this was my child's school I'd consider finding someone who could work with you all and the school to help mediate? Somebody senior needs to step in and remove the DH from this mess she's got herself in - much harder as it's a MAT I know.

“However, as we discussed if you have fundamental issues with our curriculum or the way we teach them other local schools are available."

Now she is saying this gender identity teaching is part of the curriculum.

Earlier this year they assured you they would let parents know ahead about any such teaching. The DoE says parents should be shown teaching materials they ask to see. The school did not show you what they are now saying is the curriculum.

Where, oh where, is the Head?

The Head is an ineffective figurehead, who was helicoptered into post, and also looks after another school locally.

The DepHead has been here for at least the last 10 years, and was acting head for a while, whilst the position was advertised for when the previous head didn't return from maternity leave.