Sex not gender, No Outsiders changing the Equality Act, DepHead/DSL captured

[Vebrithien]

Well, here we are, with a whole new thread!

www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/4713725-please-help-gender-not-sex-on-a-school-protected-characteristics-poster-just-spoken-to-the-head?page=10&reply=123546552

Thank you all, so so much for the support you have given me.

I am currently working on the draft of the message I want to send.

Long story short, DD's primary school displays posters by No Outsiders, showing the 9 protected characteristics of the Equality Act. Sex as been replaced with gender.

I have raised this with the Head, the assistant Head, and the Deputy Head (DepHead, as DH just doesn't work here). I have been reassured that sex is synonymous with gender in law, and, through an email stream, No Outsiders have reassured the school that it is deliberate, gender is easier to teach children than sex, especially as some will snigger at sex.

Oh, and teaching that gender is the difference between boys and girls, it makes it easier to then explain gender reassignment later on.

I'll put the message from the DepHead and No Outsiders here, and also my reply, in its current state.

Thank you all again!

Thanks @SinnerBoy we are endeavouring to put our points across as politely and respectfully as possible, although we do not feel that we are being treated with respect in return

Well done for writing such a clear letter outlining the reasons for your concerns while remaining so courteous.

Vebrithien · Today 11:24

Thanks SinnerBoy we are endeavouring to put our points across as politely and respectfully as possible, although we do not feel that we are being treated with respect in return.

From what you've written, I agree that they have been offhand and disrespectful to you and your colleagues, but it's imperative that you retain the moral high ground. The replies may even be calculated to provoke you into an intemperate response.

Fantastic letter... very impressed by you and your group.

Suggestion for para 3. It is really two separate points - safeguarding,
and respect for beliefs. Beliefs have already been dealt with in point 1. So maybe stick with safeguarding?

"3. In the book a child is corrected (by adults? by other children?) for using male pronouns for their uncle. The message to children is that they must always use preferred pronouns. This is a safeguarding risk. It denies children the language to name physical reality and to describe someone as physically male or female. It may make children afraid to report situations that make them feel uncomfortable in case they use the "wrong" words, and it denies them the language they need to tell adults clearly what has happened.

How does the school ensure that encouraging children to accept
diversity and be polite and respectful also ensures that children have accurate
biological language and understanding for safeguarding?"

Good luck dealing with the deputy head's phone call! Very inappropriate and worth a separate complaint.

Never send an email in anger or fear. Cold, hard reason pisses them off more.

As we are pretty much replying by committee, we are moderating our replies. We will not be intemperate.

God for yous.

@Vebrithien good response. Just remember the drip drip of water eventually created the Grand Canyon. Polite, accurate balanced responses have the same impact but it is frustrating.

Happy to be a drip!

That is a good point.

And thank you @SinnerBoy your thoughts are very insightful.

We are not the problem, and do not wish to be cast as such.

We do have some "Peter" characters in the group, hot tempered and impetuous.

I present a calm persona in life, and rant and vent on here.

The virtue of a committee is that we modulate to an even keel.

And, the support here is wicked!

In the theme of our dear @Boiledbeetle

Incandescently angry.
Not just vexed, or annoyed.
We are beyond that.

We have left the livid shores, exasperated, sad.
Beyond the tempestuous seas, tumultuously tossed and turned.

We have arrived, sader and older, in the lands of white, hot fury.

We will not be silenced.
With dignity and respect.

WE WILL ENDURE.

Vebrithien · Today 13:30

And thank you SinnerBoy your thoughts are very insightful.

I am blushing...

💜💜💜💜💜

And I notice the deputy head didn't dare ring you to have a go at last night!

It really does feel like so much is coming to a head on this issue. We can’t go on only respecting and being kind to one class of people any more. And we cannot continue with being forced to lie and deny reality. Whether it’s push back in local situations like yours, or on the bigger stage like JKR every little ‘drip’ counts! Wishing you lots
of luck, once again

I just thought that was your sea wind swept rosy cheeks!

I'd have eviscerated her.

Politely, and calmly, of course!

And the deputy head bloody knows it!

IMO the parent who was told that her children should go elsewhere needs to complain individually and formally to the head teacher. The fact that it's about gender wouldn't be the point. Seems as if the deputy head really has gone rogue about something that's their own personal hot-button topic. This is a state school, right? You just don't say "go elsewhere" to a parent who makes a complaint about teaching content, not even if the parent was a batshit racist complaining about "Uncle Tom's Cabin".

Yes, this is a state school.

The parent who was told to take her children elsewhere, is writing her email of complaint (with our help).

I understand that she (as a practising Christian, married to a practising Muslim) does not want her children taught about transgender ideology, or that children can be boys one day and girls the next, and neither, on the third day. I know that there is no parental right of veto, nor is there the parental right to remove children from RSE. However, I feel that the DepHead has completely misjudged her reply, in dismissing friend D's religious beliefs as bigoted and offensive. Likewise, I feel that the school has misjudged how appropriate is it to introduce these controversial ideas to children, without encouraging any discussion around it.

We have to follow the complaints procedure. Complaint, then formal complaint.

Looks as if you have a very solid case there. And managing it brilliantly!

Hats off to you and the other parents @Vebrithien, I have been following your threads since the beginning and am agog at the arrogance of the school.

I can't help but think that the DepHead is a typical Right-Side-of-History warrior, so high on their own Righteous farts that they believe they can do no wrong in pursuit of the Rainbow uplands. And then with barely a scratch, underneath the glittery veil, they reveal their nasty snarling bigotry against anybody they can dismiss as Wrong-Side. Sneering at religious families and threatening to deny children an education? How very Diverse, Inclusive and Kind.

Excuse my flippancy, but might it not all be remedied by the DH going to another school?

It's been a long day and I'm speechless at the latest developments here.
The sheer grit and stamina of your team in the face of this long game is so commendable @Vebrithien .

Another school may not have the wise warriors to fight them.

Time for pom pom waving for Veb and Co

You are an absolute powerhouse OP.