Sex not gender, No Outsiders changing the Equality Act, DepHead/DSL captured

[Vebrithien]

Well, here we are, with a whole new thread!

www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/4713725-please-help-gender-not-sex-on-a-school-protected-characteristics-poster-just-spoken-to-the-head?page=10&reply=123546552

Thank you all, so so much for the support you have given me.

I am currently working on the draft of the message I want to send.

Long story short, DD's primary school displays posters by No Outsiders, showing the 9 protected characteristics of the Equality Act. Sex as been replaced with gender.

I have raised this with the Head, the assistant Head, and the Deputy Head (DepHead, as DH just doesn't work here). I have been reassured that sex is synonymous with gender in law, and, through an email stream, No Outsiders have reassured the school that it is deliberate, gender is easier to teach children than sex, especially as some will snigger at sex.

Oh, and teaching that gender is the difference between boys and girls, it makes it easier to then explain gender reassignment later on.

I'll put the message from the DepHead and No Outsiders here, and also my reply, in its current state.

Thank you all again!

Thank you all. Must confess, it is taking its toll.

@SinnerBoy you saw it coming.

The parent who was phoned by the DepHead, yesterday asked a couple of parents in a different year group if they had been taught about LGBTQ+ history month. They said no, and she said that perhaps it was year 4 only.

She received a message this morning from the DepHead, telling her that we must respect the school ethos and values. And that she is banned from the school site, until the DepHead has completed a balanced investigation, to safeguard the other parents.

We are all feeling shaken, this morning. It could be any of us.

Bloody hell - that's horrendous

Blimey, Vebrithien, what a horror show. I wonder if she has any legal route to get over the ban? Surely it's harassment? Parents are legally entitled to know what is being taught in their children's schools.

So it was a group letter but the dep head has singled out one individual to bully? If I was her I'd say I had never received that message and be forcing the deputy head to say it to my face in a full playground.

I send you all virtual hugs though the internet

“to safeguard the other parents.”

Wut? Asking other parents about the curriculum is a safeguarding issue? The DepHead seems to have lost all sense of perspective. Governors, then Local Authority, then even Ofsted, may be the end game here.

Yes, I agree. Register a formal complaint with the governors. She might need to meet with the head first, to go through all the stages.

Is The DepHead showing that the school ethos is to inculcate children with the idea of middle-aged fathers transitioning by copying a gender stereotype, putting on dresses and makeup, saying they are a woman, and expecting their child and the child’s friends to validate them as a woman?

Is the school’s ethos to be politically partisan and teach transactivist literature to children without giving them balance and context?

It seems clear now that the parents need to know about this anything but impartial, politically driven, school ‘ethos which now also seeks to exclude parents who disagree, and to shut down speech.

The school is discriminating against a parent, singling them out for about their concerns.

ThatDepHead seems to have disproportionate power.

I am sorry Vebrithien, this is very difficult indeed for you.

*Until the Deputy Head has completed a balanced investigation.....(?)

From what we know here, I wouldn't consider that balance is possible with this individual. Sounds like marking your own not very well done homework you did on the bus.

At least you can speak on phones or in other places to support each other, but I get this level of oppression is not fun. Keep your collective chins up.

Yes, I agree with @ScrollingLeaves , disproportionate power/abuse of power.

I dunno, it seems like a strategy to isolate your group of parents @Vebrithien from other parents. If I was cynical I’d think this is a tactic to ensure that no other parents hear your point of view and they just hear you/parent D must have said or done something “bad” to get a site ban.

After all, other parents could potentially agree with you and want to join in and form a bigger body of parents with concerns about the school policy. The school will want to avoid that at all costs.

This was a WTAF moment for me as well. Does a school have any right or responsibility to safeguard parents?! Hopefully the DH is getting so batshit that it will soon become openly apparent to all.

Definitely a personal issue underlying her behaviour. Very possibly the DH has a trans or NB child and feels personally attacked. If so, the Head is likely to be sympathetic to their colleague.

@Vebrithien Wow just catching up. The Deputy Head's behaviour to ban a parent from the school site is a serious issue.

Have you considered sharing all of your emails with your MP? I do not think the Deputy Head is acting legally. The parent has done nothing that warrants such behaviour and nothing that puts other parents at risk. Politely asking questions is not a crime, FFS.

How can that parent send their child into school and be assured they will be safe when the Deputy Head is apparently able to make such decisions against all reason. I actually think the Dep Head acting like this is a safeguarding issue for that parent's child. What message is it sending to that child if their parent can't drop them off as normal?

Is it possible to speak to a solicitor and take immediate legal action?

What should happen here is the Deputy Head should lose their job. They are not capable of rational decisions in the children's best interests.

The Dep Head should NOT be conducing the investigation as they're clearly not impartial!

Yes, it's a clear conflict of interest. How can they pass judgement on themself?

If a school treated me that way about asking questions about a lesson (and frankly anything less than unruly and disruptive / violent behaviour in the playground) I'd not feel happy sending my child into that school. It's such a horrendous lack of judgement and clearly pushing a political agenda - and very much NOT in the best interests of the child of that parent.

Teachers don't get to police what parents talk about. In utter shock at your update. MP and solicitor would me my initial thoughts.

Wow!

I agree- governorss and solicitor time. MP if you have a useful one.

And I know you didn't want to go to the press but it may be worth reconsidering that. Not as a thing to do right now, but maybe have an 'at what point could that become an option?' discussion.

Bloody hell!

@Vebrithien that is awful.

pp are right the DH is not independent. Politely pointing this out to the Head and asking for a genuinely independent person to investigate is reasonable.

As you know Religion and Belief are protected characteristics. The DH Singling out a GC parent of a pupil from a multi faith family is potentially Religious discrimination. It could be seen as bullying. Again politely pointing this out to the Head and Governors strengthens your case.

Yes. The irony being that the deputy head could probably learn more about genuine diversity and inclusion from this parent than they have from the ideology they have swallowed.

Thank you, all.

We have sent our complaint clarification email.

We have advised the banned parent to send her recollection of the conversation with the DepHead, and how she has been treated, and to highlight that this is an official complaint.

We are preparing our dates and resources, to show that we have attempted to resolve and discuss this with the school.

Our MP is as captured as a captured thing. In reply to my letter about transwomen in female prisons, she wrote back telling me that they should be able to go where their identify, and that they are the most marginalised people.

The policy for the school is complaint, formal complaint, governors.

I would also say I don't think the Dep Head has the authority to ban the parent on these grounds so I think I'd actually be writing to the Head with an 'I assume I can bring my child to school as normal' and 'please can you consider - as you are legally bound to do - how to safeguard my child given these actions by the Dep Head'. Hopefully the parent has a partner who can take the child to school in the interim.

If a parent is banned from school grounds and no-one else available to bring child to school, how do they ensure child arrives safely at school?

I would not want my child alone with the Dep Head after those threats. Investigating a parent for wrongthink! Salem witch trials anyone?!

I do know the school process. Look how the Dep Head has dragged this out whilst still trying to indoctrinate children. Every day children are in that school with a Deputy Head that believes one faith trumps all others and whose thinking is so disordered that they are conflating anyone who disagrees as a safeguarding risk to other parents. With no concern for children apparently. It's appalling and shows why statutory government guidance is needed.

Banned friend has been told to drop her child off at the school office, until the DepHead has made her decision.

Banned friend is going to email, with her feelings from the phone call and the message, to the Head, asking for someone other than the DepHead to complete this investigation. She is going to make it a complaint about how she has been treated.

Our email has been sent, we have made sure that there isn't a single sentence that, if taken on its own, could be used to vilify us.

We are going to reach out to Transgender Trend, Safe Schools Alliance, and the Free Speech Union, to see if they can offer any support or help.

Does anyone know of anyone else we can contact?

We are reluctant to go to the press. Myself, and another friend are in professions where we can't bring the profession into disrepute, and where we cannot take a political position.

Good grief that was an eye opening read. I feel sick now too.

Thanks for sharing @MrsOvertonsWindow