Sex not gender, No Outsiders changing the Equality Act, DepHead/DSL captured

[Vebrithien]

Well, here we are, with a whole new thread!

www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/4713725-please-help-gender-not-sex-on-a-school-protected-characteristics-poster-just-spoken-to-the-head?page=10&reply=123546552

Thank you all, so so much for the support you have given me.

I am currently working on the draft of the message I want to send.

Long story short, DD's primary school displays posters by No Outsiders, showing the 9 protected characteristics of the Equality Act. Sex as been replaced with gender.

I have raised this with the Head, the assistant Head, and the Deputy Head (DepHead, as DH just doesn't work here). I have been reassured that sex is synonymous with gender in law, and, through an email stream, No Outsiders have reassured the school that it is deliberate, gender is easier to teach children than sex, especially as some will snigger at sex.

Oh, and teaching that gender is the difference between boys and girls, it makes it easier to then explain gender reassignment later on.

I'll put the message from the DepHead and No Outsiders here, and also my reply, in its current state.

Thank you all again!

Timeline

24/11/22
I spoke to the Assistant Head, about a No Outsiders poster which incorrectly showed "gender" rather than "sex" as 1 of the 9 Protected Characteristics. The other 8 PC's were as written in law. Assistant Head stated that he thought the PC was actually "gender" in the Equality Act.

06/01/23

I spoke to the Head about the poster. She referred me onto the DepHead, as head of EDI. The Head stated that the organisation responsible for creating the poster were "the experts". No Outsiders sell their products as "teaching the Equality Act in schools"

11/01/23

I spoke to the DepHead, who stated that the poster didn't actually state it was about the 9 Protected Characteristics, therefore there wasn't an issue that one PC had been changed. I also reminded the DepHead that school teachers are required to be able to name the 9 PCs correctly, by Ofsted.

26/01/23

Email from the DepHead to me, reiterating that the poster doesn't show the 9 Protected Characteristics, and included communication from the No Outsiders organisation, stating that they prefer to use "gender" and not "sex", as children will giggle over "sex", and that using "gender" makes it easier to then explain gender reassignment.

07/02/23

I emailed the DepHead (cc'd in the Head) reminding the DepHead that schools are required to teach the 9 Protected Characteristics, as written in law. Secondly, that this is a political subject, and schools are required to remain politically neutral, and there are concerns about the lack of neutrality from No Outsiders. Thirdly, that the legal responsibility for content used by the school, from outside organisations, resides with the school. Lastly, that the use of imprecise language significantly disadvantages and excludes students with SEND, EAL and students from a different culture.

24/02/23

I shared my concerns on the closed WhatApp group for the year group. This was prompted by a survey sent out by the school that day (from Diversity Role Models), which asked the questions "How confident do you feel that the school protects children and parents with a protected characteristic?" I felt that if the school did not acknowledge the 9PC's correctly, they could not protect them.

Friend H emailed the DepHead to add her concerns about the political and controversial nature of gender identity ideology, and especially the importance of using clear, biologically based language with the children.

27/02/23

The DepHead emailed me to inform that the incorrect posters were removed, and would be corrected to read "sex equality", instead of "gender"

02/03/23

The Assistant Head phoned me to warn me of breaking the parental code of conduct, and that I should not be discussing concerns about the school on social media (at the point, the school policy (updated 2021) did not mention WhatsApp as a form of social media). A whole school email was sent out later that week, adding WhatsApp to the examples of social media.

17/03/23

Friend D emailed the Head and CC'd the DepHead on the behalf of herself and a group of concern parents, about the resources used in RSE, and requested a meeting.

21/03/23

Email received from the DepHead inviting the concerned parents to a meeting at school.

19/05/23

Meeting at school, with the DepHead, the Assistant Head and the Head of RSE.
RSE documents were looked, parents were reassured that gender identity is not taught at this school, and if it is discussed, it is as a belief. RSE topics and resources are to be shared with all parents at the beginning of terms.

02/02/24

Message home for one of the junior year groups, states that "She is my Dad" was used as the reading comprehension book for the past week. This has a very strong message about gender identity ideology, portraying it as fact, and strong (and harmful) sexist stereotypes.

07/02/24

Friend H emailed the Head, CC'd the DepHead on behalf of herself and concerned parents, expressing concern that parents were feeling betrayed by the school, due to the nature of the book used, and how it has not been shared in advance.

09/02/24

Email from Friend H acknowledged by the school.

26/02/24

Email from the Head to Friend H, CC'd the other concerned parents. Stating that the school does not teach gender identity ideology, and that as the book was not part of the RSE curriculum, it was not shared with parents in advance. The Head also states that the children were being taught about different types of families (due to it being LGBQT+ History Month), and that inclusion at the school is most highly prized in parents and child feedback to Ofsted. The Head states at all stereotypes are challenged, however with no clarification of how the sexist stereotypes portrayed in the book are challenged.

Veb, it is amazing when you lay it out like that, how long this has been going on for, and just how slippery the school is being. Does a formal complaint go to the governors? Good luck, you are doing great work on behalf of the children in that school, and for all of us

Vebrithien I feel for you!

WarriorN · Today 16:28

Good luck. It may be better to have separate complaints, I'm not really sure, other than each one may need to be dealt with separately. So all recorded separately etc.

That does have the risk of a, "No one else has complained," reply.

But on second thoughts, you would have a potential response of, "That's a lie, I know who else has complained. If you're willing to lie about something so easily checked, how can we trust you not to lie about everything?"

Formal complaints have to be sent using a MAT form and can be submitted by more than one person.

We were wondering if we should submit complaints about;

1. The school appears to be teaching gender identity, despite guidance against this.
2. Our concerns about the lack of transparency from the school.
3. Our concerns about how the school has handled our concerns, including attempting to clamp down any discussion.

Edited to add the word "form"

@Vebrithien I replied to yr earlier post but in trying to add an emoji, erased the lot!

Yes to 1, 2 and 3.

The powers that be at the school have eroded parental trust by sneaking in materials of concern under the watchful radar of concerned individuals and presenting this as a fait accompli.

By ensuring a child reads that book, the intention is clearly there to educate on gender identity ideology.

It appears the school disregards the valid objections of parents and guardians and have taken, through their insistence at pushing GI material in the guise of Reading Comprehension, a No Debate stance.

I have read the precis of the book concerned and it is aimed at three to seven year olds.
Misgendering is introduced as a concept and how it can be hurtful to do this.
I feel it's desperately unfair and inappropriate to impose this on children of these ages as general reading matter, as something they are required to comprehend.

Thank you @Villagetoraiseachild , this is exactly how we feel.

We are currently debating our next step.

The most recent email we sent, we toned down massively, so we are debating:

1. Send a final email, making our concerns absolutely clear about the totalitarian and inflexible beliefs presented as fact, in the book, as well as the harmful sterotypes.

This will add 5 days to the timeline, but could then support us in a formal complaint, as we could then say that we have been super clear with our concerns. It would also allow us to refute the unsaid but implied notion that we a bigoted lot.

1. Go straight to formal complaint. They aren't going to listen to us.

I'm leaning towards 1, as it allows us to expand on our concerns, which we removed from the last email, and makes it crystal clear what the issue is.

Vebrithien · Today 16:36
By ensuring a child reads that book, the intention is clearly there to educate on gender identity ideology.

Yes, and to deconstruct the dissembling, as you say,

“The Head also states that the children were being

taught

about different types of families (due to it being LGB

QT+ History Month)”

“She is my Dad” is a gender identity book.

I take it that the book was not just on display in the library as one of many choices but taught with comprehension questions. That really sets it up in the mind. No glossing over it. This means a lot is interpreted and probably promoted as fact in the text by the teacher saying this is what this and that means.

Gaslighting school.

Slight detail regarding the book:

This site for the children of transitioners was on another thread (about transwomen breast feeding). I wonder, in the interests of inclusivity, what the children of dads who have done this would really think about this book?

https://childrenoftransitioners.org/2024/02/22/safeguarding-concerns-in-the-nhs/

Archived: https://archive.ph/EyFQO

Yes, @ScrollingLeaves , one of our concerns about the narrative in the book is about how prescriptive it is about the wonderful new life that they will all lead.

There is no mention of the actual mum. There is no mention of how the child may feel confused and upset. It's just all glitter and sparkle.

I know there are some wonderful posters here who are trans-widows.

Does anyone know, what are the stats on a marriage/partnership breaking down, when one partner transitions?

Well, an update of sorts.

We decided, to cover all bases, that we would send another email, highlighting exactly what our concerns about the book were. It is written, and we were ready to send it today.

But.

Last night, the DepHead phoned one of the parents who signed the email we sent 3 weeks ago (the very mild, watered down one), and the DepHead had a go at the parent for her involvement.

I've got to get more details, but now it seems that the DepHead is targeting and bullying individual parents!

Bloody hell! Straight to governors with that one.

There is some more evidence that is going to be shared with us, but it sounds as though the DepHead is saying that if we don't like what the school is teaching, we should take our children elswhere

My late teen DCs have been taught that preferred pronouns are #bekind and they truly believe using them is being kind. However there was general agreement that Isla Bryson should be housed in a male estate.

Books such as this one aimed at that age group is absolutely indoctrination designed to be early enough that by the time they reach late teens there will be no argument about housing the likes of Isla Bryson in a female estate. Insidious, inexorable breakdown of social norms and safeguarding to advance a particular agenda.

Compounding the issue is how many of those in positions of authority simply do not like being challenged. Feel angered by it and will push back to reassert authority. Adding to this occasion they feel the pleasure of sanctimonious righteous anger. The DeptHead probably thinks the concerned parents are all evangelistic Christians.

Makes me depressed thinking that there’s even less hope for teaching children critical thinking skills. Something they and the world need to learn to do.

We are not all evangelical Christians, there are two, plus CofE, Anglo-Catholic, Methodist, Muslim, Hindu, agnostic and atheist.

I’m not suggesting that any are @Vebrithien only that the DeptHead may conveniently think of your group as being so in order to dismiss your legitimate concerns. Dismiss the complainers with ad hominem, s/he gets to dismiss the complaint without having to consider the merits of the actual argument.

Yep.

I've heard the voice message from friend D, from immediately after the phonecall.

The DepHead objected to friend D not wanting her child to be taught about transgender and NB identity. The DepHead said that the messages were offensive, and that she should consider taking her daughter to a different school.

There are shades of that teacher filmed last year, calling two girls bigots and telling them to find another school.

Yes, I agree @SinnerBoy

We are going to send our original response email, and then there will be a second email, detailing what was said on the phone call and making a complaint + trying to find out the schools official position on this

I am so sorry, Vebrithien what a sham that this should happen after all the work of your group a year ago. That Deputy Head was biding her time and digging in since last year, wasn’t she? The head teacher is perhaps a little weak.

How wrong to pick on one parent from a group email and contact them separately.

That book is a particularly awful exercise in extreme narcissism and promotes the emotional abuse of children. Excuse the pun, but it speaks volumes about whoever is in charge of the English curriculum.

I'd be very interested to read whatever nonsense they come back with!

Correction: ‘what a shame’

To be fair, @ScrollingLeaves it does all feel like a bit of a sham.

We are incandescently furious.

To be told that our views are bigoted, offensive and we should be removing our children from the school

This is the email we will be sending, about the disingenuous reply we had to our complaint

Dear Headteacher

Thank you for your response, but I am afraid there seems to be a misunderstanding about our concerns about this book.

You state that the school does not teach gender identity beliefs and that stereotypes are challenged wherever they are seen, but our concerns about the book are that:

1. The book appears to present gender identity beliefs as facts, including a glossary (likely to be interpreted by children as factual) with the definition of “gender identity” as a person’s “sense of their own gender, which may or may not correspond to the sex they were assigned at birth”, and describing sex as “assigned” at birth (rather than observed). Not believing in gender identity is equally as acceptable as believing in it, and both are protected under the Equality Act 2010. How does the school ensure that gender identity is presented as belief, and that other beliefs are also included in the teaching, when using this resource?

1. The book reinforces gender stereotypes in which being female is defined by stereotypes of appearance and physical grooming including “pretty” painted nails, long hair and wearing bright colours and stereotypically feminine clothing. The Dad’s gender is presented as revealed by the use of nail polish: “We paint each other’s nails. Oh, didn’t I tell you? My Dad is a she.” How does teaching using this resource meet the DfE guidelines not to reinforce harmful stereotypes or to suggest children might be a different gender based on the clothes they prefer to wear?

1. The book polices children’s pronoun use, including a child who is corrected on the use of she/her pronouns for their uncle. We are concerned that the message to children that they must use pronouns which may conflict with biology is a safeguarding issue, denying children the language to name reality and recognise and describe someone as male or female, or to feel able to react to or report situations that make them feel uncomfortable. How does the school ensure that encouraging children to accept diversity and be polite and respectful to people in their preferred gender expression also ensures that children have the language and understanding needed for safeguarding, and protect the equally valid beliefs of children who do no believe in gender identity ideology?

It is possible that these concerns were addressed by the context in which it was taught. If so, we would be reassured to see the reading comprehension lesson plan including how it was highlighted to the children that this is a set of personal beliefs that must be respected but are not shared by everyone; and identifying and challenging the stereotypes about women in the book.

And if, on review, you conclude that the school did not ensure it was clear that these were part of a range of personal beliefs and ensure that children were supported to critically identify and challenge the sexist stereotypes, then we would like to be informed of how this will be addressed.

We support and value inclusiveness at this school, our children will interact with a wide range of people throughout their lifetimes, and it is important that they can treat those people with dignity and respect for their beliefs. We echo the importance of our children understanding about a range of families and we are encouraged by how our children are introduced to range of religious beliefs and shown how to respect them, without being taught any religion as fact.

We appreciate that there will be a range of personal beliefs on this topic. We are requesting that the school respects all views in the school community, including ours that gender identity is a personal belief which (similarly to the excellent teaching of a diversity of religions at the school) should be respected but not taught as fact. We would appreciate the school responding constructively to address our concerns rather than dismiss them.

That's very well written and addresses the matter politely.