Gendered hair, the struggle is real

[KatMcBundleFace]

Do we think that Metro is secretly gender critical? They keep publishing absolutely whingefests that really do not show the TQ in a good light at all.

Now of cause everyone should be able to have the hair cut they want..... it is just gender stereotypes after all. But I can't help laughing at the delicate ones crashing into the real world 👇

metro.co.uk/2023/01/15/going-to-the-barbers-as-an-lgbtq-person-means-hiding-my-identity-18080558/

Favourite bits:

"For me, short hair was what I’d longed for, and was symbolic of me becoming a man,’ he says.
Trans people make a lot of changes – both big and small – to feel a sense of trans joy. Hair, after all, is one of the first things people see.
But his first haircut when he came out was not just about choosing scissors or clippers – it was about feeling inner peace."

"Harry now goes to a mixed-gender hairdresser who treats his hair ‘gently and allows me to talk about my life, gender and my partner’."

Talking about your gender eh? Makes a change from "where are you going on your holibobs luv?". Let's ALL talk about our gender next time we are in the hairdressers... it'll go down so well! We all have inner peace after a good hair cut though, so I hear them on that.

Then we get to Eden, who works,
SHOCKINGLY in the charity sector and has a lot of pronouns. Confusingly all mixed up in the article.
"Eden, 27, who is transfeminine and works in the charity sector, says xe can’t use any old barbers as she has to out herself as trans."

Next we find out about the 😱 horror of having to book a "gents" cut when you're non binary.

Finally we get to David, who's had to be vague about their partners pronouns.
Because some women were once a bit mean when he was listening in on their conversations at the hairdressers .
😱😱😱

I'm going to hold all these people in my prayers.

Its exhausting

Does MN have an eye-roll emoji? If not, it needs to.

😂aww bless

Remember that gender is a social construct, and the depressing stereotypes commonly associated with what it means to be a man or a woman have simply been invented over time,’ they say.

‘Some trans people seek to completely change their appearance to match their true gender by having a gender-affirming “masculine” or “feminine” haircut which gives them a sense of gender euphoria (although it should be noted that this is not the case for every trans or non binary person)

Do they hear themselves? Gender is a social construct in one breath but they need to change their appearance to match their ‘true’ gender. Why would you have a ‘true’ gender if it’s made up by society?

Perfect point.

The silly billies not hearing themselves is a lot of the problem

Can i get a cheaper haircut if I identify as a man?

No, the Metro (whilst owned by the Daily Mail) is most definitely not GC. All GC comments are deleted and Owl, the awful trans-activist, has a column in the paper.

I know what these people will look like before I click on the link. They all confirm to the same stereotypes! Bless.

Getting your hair cut is (in most places I've lived — I don't know about places that are big enough to have specialist alternative salons that market to LGBTQQIAA2S+ or men with excessive beard fondness) a whole overly-gendered mess that, most of the time, until you've found your exact niche, only suits either a) men who fit the social expectations of men and want to walk in and get a basic short haircut with no frills for a few quid, or b) women who fit the social expectations of women, want a feminine hairstyle and a whole lengthy experience with lots of touching and chatting, and don't mind paying extra for that.

It's a difficult service to buy otherwise, but we all need to buy it sometimes. There's quite a bit of genderwank in the article but the issues are real. Your sex, your gender identity (if you have one), your clothing and makeup preferences, your hair length and desired hair length, your preference for haircutting to be a quick basic service or a pampering experience involving head massages and nice decor, and the amount you want to spend on a haircut, aren't necessarily aligned to one of two groups.

Snort:

Keri Blue, a non-binary short hair specialist and founder of Human First
My son and I use the same hairdresser. He has thick hair and she spends far longer cutting his hair than she does mine but I pay more. I value her hair cutting skills too much to make a fuss.

Oh come on, you dont really believe that. I used to have a short back and sides in the 90s, I used to get it cut wherever (I moved round a lot), including 'mens' places. If you want a 'male' hair cut then you go somewhere that can do that, if you dont you go somewhere else

The problem comes with people think that this or that hair cut is a mens cut or a womens cut. There is no such thing for goodness sake

Gosh, the first story involved someone having to drive eight - EIGHT! - miles to have their hair cut in a way that suited them.

Thoughts and prayers indeed.

Why would I post it if I don't really believe it? It can be awkward getting a decent short haircut at a reasonable price as a woman. My experience is that a few barbers outright refuse because tits, a few are clearly uncomfortable, a few are fine but other customers seem uncomfortable, some are totally fine but you do have to find them. Unisex places sometimes have to have a conversation about calling over the person who can do clippers and then there's more waiting and nobody seems to know what to do with me, women's hairdressers either refuse because they don't do clippers or (in my experience) take thirty minutes to completely cock up a cut which a barber can do in five minutes flat.

You're right that there is no such thing as a men's/women's cut per se, but you're being disingenuous if you're saying that it's perfectly normal and accepted and comfortable for any woman to walk into any barber's around the country and be treated like any other customer. Perhaps it's the places you lived, or your personal characteristics (your confidence, the way you look), or the fact that the 90s was 30 years ago and a different planet.

It's all such naval gazing claptrap.

I go to the hairdressers, tell them I want a bit off the ends, yes I want the head massage and no I'm not paying extra for conditioner with a fancy name.

Then I put my headphones in and try to avoid all conversation for the 30 minutes it takes.

Why does everything have to be an validation exercise to confirm and affirm their identities. Just fucking get on with your life and let everyone else get on with theirs.

Yeah, I agree. Even the salons that show off their trendy cuts on SM can take some convincing to break out of the mould, and in many places they are far more "traditional". It's often down to the individual stylist, and often a total crapshoot.

My DH, my DS, my DD and I all go to the same hairdresser and all pay roughly the same (I have mine dyed, so obviously pay more) despite all having different length hair and very different styles, this article really is a big pile of naval gazing wank.

Sone hairdressers or barbers know their limits

Sone barbers have been stung by women wanting a male cut but then having different expectations ( possibly based on the fact they are used to hairdressers) - they get a male cut and give them grief ... had this from the nice barber who would cut my long hair

The article has a fair bit of whingeing about not being sufficiently affirmed or whatever, but the core issue is one that I've heard some feminists mention occasionally for years — that provision of hair-related services is very gendered, in a very traditional way, and this causes problems for some people. Feminists might think of the problem and the potential solutions in a different way to how genderists think of the problem and potential solutions, but there is still an underlying problem.

What's transfeminine?

God it must be utterly exhausting to be so permanently in such a state of high alert looking for offence at all times.

DH and I have the same hairdresser. His cut and blow dry takes one hour and costs £30. My cut and blow dry takes one hour and costs £42!

Christ on a frickin bike! I'm a 54 year old woman and I've had short hair since I was 4 or 5 when I had a very lovely pixie-cut. Still a girl/woman. As a teenager, the photo I took to the hairdressers as style inspiration was of Les Pattinson from Echo and Bunnymen as I loved his short back and sides and floppy top bit. Gendered hair my ruddy arse!

Its actually really difficult to get a basic short back and sides if you are a woman. Womens and unisex hairdressers always insist on making it 'nice and feminine' and most barbers will point blank not cut womens hair.

I'm sure they are just in it for the hits to be honest. I was only joking with the GC bit.

Dunno.... so I looked it up..... seems complicated 👇

Transfeminine (also written trans-feminine or trans feminine, and sometimes abbreviated to transfem or transfemme[note 1]) describes a transgender person (generally one who was assigned male at birth) who seeks to present femininely, or to transition to look more feminine, or who identifies as more female than male. The label "trans-feminine" can be considered either a gender identity, a gender expression, or both. It is an umbrella term that includes trans women who don't consider themselves nonbinary, and nonbinary feminine people.[1][2] Some examples of genders that transfeminine individuals may identify as include:

• Binary trans women

• Nonbinary women

• Demigirls

• Multigender people

• Genderfluid people who identify as feminine more often than other genders.

• Nonbinary people, as long as they identify with feminity.

One web-site about nonbinary gender identity explains how someone can be both trans-feminine and nonbinary:

Some neutrois people [neutrois is a specific nonbinary identity that is neither male nor female] feel they aren’t completely 100% gender-free or gender-neutral; rather, they lean a little more towards one side or another of the gender spectrum. Transfeminine means the person tilts towards female [...] It’s important to note this does not invalidate, contradict, or cancel out being neutrois, as they still feel a strong affinity with this identity. Instead, being transmasculine [...] is more of a modifier or a complement which adds to the complexity of their gender, gender expression, or gender identity. In these cases there might be a preference to present more closely to one gender over another, or it can be more comfortable to just live as one binary gender rather than the other. However, this choice is more often a result of convenience in order to navigate a society in which only two genders are recognized. A lot of people would ideally opt to have neutrois recognized as their gender and not be forced to make a decision between male and female only.

This explains several reasons why a person can identify as both trans-feminine and as a nonbinary identity