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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Detransitioners: put the fatted calf away please.

115 replies

TinselAngel · 03/12/2022 10:40

For some time I have been predicting that when our exes begin to detransition it will result in just another round of attention and sympathy causing further silencing of trans widows

www.theblaze.com/news/former-transgender-navy-seal-announces-de-transition-says-he-was-propagandized-and-pulled-into-a-cult-everyone-is-converting-all-these-kids-into-transgender#toggle-gdpr

100% the usual AGP story, tried on sisters clothes in adolescence, got married, had kids, successful career, late transitioner yada yada yada

profilesinpride.com/kristin-beck-coming-out-as-transgender-navy-seal/

If detransitioners are serious about atoning for the damage they have done to themselves and others,they need to have a long and serious period of reflection and learning. Swapping the affirmation of one side of the debate for the other does nobody any favours. Least of all us.

And we as a movement need to help this by being circumspect in our treatment of detransitioners and not acting like the love bombing cult that they claim to have left.

We would also do well to remember the binge and purge cycle that all wives of cross dressers are familiar with, and consider that if (when) this carries over in to “detransition”, their detransitioning is likely to at best, fluctuate.

So put the fatted calf away please.
Misogyny is still misogyny, fetishes are still fetishes, narcissism is still narcissism and none of these are magically cured in five minutes.

This is why, at Trans Widows Voices we have to hold the line, and take a position that people on “our side” have already called “harsh” and “cruel”.If we laud one detransitioner as not like the other boys, we dismiss validity of the stories of the women and children in their past

Many people have slowly realised that we were right when we told them that their platforming and lauding of so called “reasonable transexual allies” excluded women, and sure enough those allies proceeded to gradually show us exactly who they are.
For the love of the goddess let’s not make the same mistake twice.

OP posts:
Banoffeepie21 · 18/01/2023 06:58

@TinselAngel I think you may be able to advise @womanundone .

@womanundone this be a start?www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/4236287-trans-widows-escape-committee-5-and-so-it-continues?page=27

womanundone · 18/01/2023 07:02

Thank you Banoffeepie21

picklemewalnuts · 18/01/2023 07:09

I'm so sorry to hear that, @womanundone. Tinsel will point you to everything you need, and warn you about what may be coming your way.

womanundone · 18/01/2023 07:16

Picklemewalnuts, thank you. My head is spinning...There are no words to describe this nightmare.

womanundone · 18/01/2023 07:17

and the non existent support the unsuspecting woman receives...its very cruel

picklemewalnuts · 18/01/2023 08:01

I'm sure you'll come across lots of interesting articles that back up your experiences, but here's one I have to hand. It neatly illustrates the selfishness of transition. I am sorry you are going through this.

archive.ph/bupdZ

womanundone · 18/01/2023 08:09

Just read some of it, thank you picklemewalnuts...yes it does illustrate the selfishness. This is what I find so impossible to understand, a person I have know for years become someone who now is on a mission and to just walk away from everything he supposedly knew and loved. I just don't get it...

picklemewalnuts · 18/01/2023 08:14

It's hard, and others with more knowledge will come along and help you soon, but imo you don't need to 'get it'. Save your energy for yourself and your DC.

He's doing an erratic, self centred thing. You need to focus on protecting you and your DC. He's thinking about himself enough for both of you!

I can imagine it's hard to do that, but compassionately understanding him isn't actually going to help. It will just give you someone else to worry about.

Nod and smile, and organise whatever you need to help yourself and the DC.

womanundone · 18/01/2023 08:17

I'm trying...I really am x

simplefree · 18/01/2023 08:22

Really sorry if this is innapropriate - I always wanted to ask this but never knew to whom…

I was going out with a guy some time ago and he said to me one day that he had a fantasy of soending the whole day at home wearing a bikini and looking at himself in the mirror / taking photos…

At the time it felt super weird as I had a man expressing anything like this to me before and that made me curious about what his sexuality / gender identification might be?

I didn’t ask further questions, maybe just laughed off in confusion.

What are your thoughts please?

EasterIsland · 18/01/2023 11:14

Google 'AGP' - but be prepared - NSFW

Or read medical authority, Ray Blanchard's work on male cross-dressing categories & pathologies. Lots on YOuTube, for example.

And you'll realise it's good that your relationship with this man is in the past.

picklemewalnuts · 18/01/2023 11:27

@simplefree as Justin Bieber says...
'Cause if you like the way you look that much
Oh, baby, you should go and love yourself

Lucky escape for you, there.

simplefree · 18/01/2023 12:07

@picklemewalnuts @EasterIsland

So strong indication he could be or become cross dresser? I will check the links later

I realised it was a lucky escape even without that: a bit vain, inability to commit or follow through, overlapping situationships and also what it apperead to be a sexual curiosity about other men

EasterIsland · 18/01/2023 14:45

Great way to put it @picklemewalnuts !

Dougalskeeper · 19/01/2023 09:37

Excellent post Tinsel. I must confess I have little sympathy for trans or detrans. It has created a lot of harm in this country, in the UK and in the world and all for an unscientific load of nonsense

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