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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

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Original poster

To ask DC’s school about gender identity

141 replies

CanStopWillStop · 01/10/2022 16:22

I am going to view a prospective primary prep school for DD.

It’s a very popular all-girls school so admissions are over subscribed. I have a list of pretty standard questions, however I also want to ask what they are teaching the children about gender or gender identity.

I also want to ask whether they would admit trans girls (born male) in the school.

There is no mention of this in the prospectus however DH thinks it’s a bad idea to ask.

AIBU to ask these types of questions?

OP posts:
Cassillero · 01/10/2022 16:26

I don't think you're unreasonable at all to ask but I'd be amazed if any school strayed away from the stunning and brave script. If you do ask though I'd be really interested in their response.

grey12 · 01/10/2022 16:28

Yeah, I agree with @Cassillero

YANBU

Plumbear2 · 01/10/2022 16:29

I don't see how they could refuse. Everybody is entitled to an education.

Singleandproud · 01/10/2022 16:30

When I asked similar at the GDST High school we looked around I was told that it was a single sex school and not single gender.

waterlego · 01/10/2022 16:30

Plumbear2 · 01/10/2022 16:29

I don't see how they could refuse. Everybody is entitled to an education.

Refuse to answer the OP’s questions? Or refuse to admit a trans girl?

fluffinsalad · 01/10/2022 16:37

Ask. My girls go to an all girls prep. I didnt ask ( wish I had) but I did raise what was being taught in sex ed ( dd just gone in to year 5) And they were very insistent it was age appropriate and focused on what was happening to their bodies and not anything to do with gender identity ect... which tbh would have gone down like a lead balloon considering the demographics

But we have had no silliness of pronouns ect and they have really pushed historic prominent female roles models through the school. Ive not had anything to complain about tbh

fluffinsalad · 01/10/2022 16:40

Plumbear2 · 01/10/2022 16:29

I don't see how they could refuse. Everybody is entitled to an education.

Well they can and they have. There have been a couple of private schools that have stood firm

Crotonifolia · 01/10/2022 16:42

If it's important to you, ask. It is something I'd want to be clear on.

grey12 · 01/10/2022 16:47

Plumbear2 · 01/10/2022 16:29

I don't see how they could refuse. Everybody is entitled to an education.

Transgirls are absolutely entitled to an education, of course!!!! Just not in an all-girls school 🤷🏻‍♀️ plenty of excellent mixed public and private schools in this country though

MelodyPondsMum · 01/10/2022 16:53

If they say they're single gender rather than single sex, will it change your mind about sending DD there?
If it would impact your decision, then you need to ask. If you just want to know for information and so you can be prepared, then I'd wait until DD was at the school to ask those questions.

Textboxmm · 01/10/2022 16:55

If it’s a GDSTbschool they have a policy. If it’s another school they’ll tell you it’s none of your business. Which it isn’t. What do you think will happen to your DD if a trans kid is in the school?

BrutusMcDogface · 01/10/2022 16:56

Why can’t your daughter go to a co-ed school? Does it have to be all girls? Presumably if she was born male, she still has a penis.

Original poster
CanStopWillStop · 01/10/2022 16:58

MelodyPondsMum · 01/10/2022 16:53

If they say they're single gender rather than single sex, will it change your mind about sending DD there?
If it would impact your decision, then you need to ask. If you just want to know for information and so you can be prepared, then I'd wait until DD was at the school to ask those questions.

It is one of the reasons we are exploring prep schools, I would prefer the topic of gender to be discussed at an appropriate age without any specific agenda pushed upon the children.

OP posts:
Original poster
CanStopWillStop · 01/10/2022 17:00

Textboxmm · 01/10/2022 16:55

If it’s a GDSTbschool they have a policy. If it’s another school they’ll tell you it’s none of your business. Which it isn’t. What do you think will happen to your DD if a trans kid is in the school?

If a male is admitted to an all-girls school it ceases to be female only, which defeats the objective of a single sex school.

OP posts:
Original poster
CanStopWillStop · 01/10/2022 17:00

BrutusMcDogface · 01/10/2022 16:56

Why can’t your daughter go to a co-ed school? Does it have to be all girls? Presumably if she was born male, she still has a penis.

My daughter is female.

OP posts:
Scout2016 · 01/10/2022 17:05

I think you should ask. It's important to you and your daughter will spend years there, you need to be able to ask them questions and potentially challenge things.
Why does your DH think you shouldn't, does he think you'll go on the naughty list and it will risk your child's place there?

Angelinflipflops · 01/10/2022 17:06

It seems like a comparatively small thing to get hung up on

HappyKoala56 · 01/10/2022 17:07

CanStopWillStop · 01/10/2022 17:00

If a male is admitted to an all-girls school it ceases to be female only, which defeats the objective of a single sex school.

Show quote history

What is the objective of a single sex school? I half get it at secondary age, but primary? What is the point of going out of your way to put your child in a school where only females can attend?

YoBeaches · 01/10/2022 17:07

I thought I read recently in a research paper that single sex schools are exactly that, their status and at times funding relies upon reminding so. I think there was a legal stance somewhere in there too. I'll see if I can find the reference.

If you would ask a school about teaching religion then you should ask about teaching gender ideology in the current climate and whether they adhere to guidance set by the DSE.

Original poster
CanStopWillStop · 01/10/2022 17:08

I can see my original post wasn’t clear.

My daughter is female, I would like to know whether male pupils would be allowed to join the all girls schools on the basis of a gender identity.

DH is concerned we will be viewed as “bigots” for asking, and would rather a secure a place first before asking any so-called “provocative” questions,

OP posts:
Soontobe60 · 01/10/2022 17:11

Angelinflipflops · 01/10/2022 17:06

It seems like a comparatively small thing to get hung up on

Most people who opt for single sex schools would expect them to be just that - single sex.
It is not a ‘small thing to get hung up on’. Some parents want a single sex education for many reasons. That’s why there are single sex schools!

Original poster
CanStopWillStop · 01/10/2022 17:12

HappyKoala56 · 01/10/2022 17:07

What is the objective of a single sex school? I half get it at secondary age, but primary? What is the point of going out of your way to put your child in a school where only females can attend?

Show quote history

There are countless studies on the benefits of single sex schools. Granted, there are also potential drawbacks, but the data shows girls typically perform better academically when taught amongst other girls.

OP posts:
Angelinflipflops · 01/10/2022 17:15

Soontobe60, I shall rephrase, the likelihood of it happening is quite small, so not something to fret over, if that is what one is worried about

ichimedin · 01/10/2022 17:19

I set up an anonymous email to ask this of the secondary school I was considering sending DD to and they replied saying they only admitted girls who were born female. Which is what I wanted to hear. I

ichimedin · 01/10/2022 17:20

Angelinflipflops · 01/10/2022 17:06

It seems like a comparatively small thing to get hung up on

no it really isn’t

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