To ask DC’s school about gender identity

[CanStopWillStop]

I am going to view a prospective primary prep school for DD.

It’s a very popular all-girls school so admissions are over subscribed. I have a list of pretty standard questions, however I also want to ask what they are teaching the children about gender or gender identity.

I also want to ask whether they would admit trans girls (born male) in the school.

There is no mention of this in the prospectus however DH thinks it’s a bad idea to ask.

AIBU to ask these types of questions?

I was about to say the same. Anecdotally from the two single sex private schools I know. One, possibly two, trans girls/women in the all boys. Around 30 trans boys/men in the all girls. Secondary not primary though.

The fact that most trans boys simultaneously believe themselves to be boys while choosing to stay at all girl’s schools proves exactly what a pile of unmitigated bs this whole thing is. For most girls it is a mixture of attention seeking, seeking acceptance for quirks, lesbianism or gender non conformity or sometimes a complication of autism.
anyone who truly believed themselves to be a boy would feel extremely dysphoric being surrounded by girls in a place where boys aren’t allowed.

Just to clarify, as some posters appear to suggest I’m intolerant of transpeople, I don’t care what other people’s DC identify as.

I am well aware that the majority of children who identify as trans are girls, so it’s likely that there will be trans boys at this school at some point. (Personally don’t understand why someone who genuinely believes they’re male would want to be in a female space, but that’s their choice)

But ultimately I simply don’t wish my children to be indoctrinated into unscientific narratives such as “boys can become girls” etc at an age where they cannot process what that means in reality, and think objectively on the subject.

@Angelinflipflops this is a brave comment on mumsnet 😂😂 I'm inclined to agree though

Of course it could be an issue. It's not something that happens overnight. She's not just going to start a new school the next day. She would need support to process what she's feeling

It leads to a convicted pedophile having Sussex Police defend HIM because he now identifies as a woman and He was very upset at being called HE.

Sussex Police then come down on those who refer to HIM as HE -something he was called throughout his trial-until Suella Braverman gave them a kick up the arse. They are in trouble for not calling a hairy arsed rapist a she.

Nonetheless, HE now wants to be in a women's prison and have his foul crimes attached to the pronoun SHE.

It won't be a small thing Mrs, when a woman ends up sharing a cell with a stinking male pedophile because he now identifies a woman.

It will be no small thing when the dolts that are Sussex Police continue with their brave and stunning plan of not ascribing gender to any crime, leading to the old shite that there is no evidence that men commit more sex crimes than women.

That is just one of the reasons why it is not a small thing.

'Indocrinated' is a pretty strong word, does what she hears at home not hold any sway?

Dappled York, prisons and schools are different things, although I'm sure some kids would disagree!

School is as much a part of society as a prison and boys pretending to be girls leads to men pretending to be women with all the chaos and danger implied in that.

Our DD is only seven months but this is definitely a factor in choosing a school for her and one reason why we're inclined to go private. I will be asking all schools what their policies are on sex and gender and this will absolutely inform my decision making on whether such a school is one I'd send DD to. I'm hoping that schools with a religious affiliation are more likely to reject the notion of gender identity and to teach biological facts, but we shall find out in due course. I'm pretty despairing of our local state primary schools as they have the pride flag billowing outside the classrooms year round, so seem to have swallowed the kool-aid.

Does kool aid make you gay?

@DappledOliveGroves I think you'll be disappointed on the religious front. The trans movement really gained traction particularly in US within some religious sects: along the lines of "no you aren't gay, God has just been testing you and put you in the wrong body ofcourse you can change genders" it has been an easy 'out' of the tabooness of homosexuality for these groups and I'd be surprised if it has moved over here too.

I think DappledYork talks alot of sense.

“I'm pretty despairing of our local state primary schools as they have the pride flag billowing outside the classrooms year round, so seem to have swallowed the kool-aid.”

Seems you let some casual homophobia slip by accident there, dear

@DappledOliveGroves so you would rather a religious school teach them such scientific principles as magic sky wizards, hell and creationism?

As another poster pointed out, you’ve let a bit of general homophobia slip in there about the pride flag. Whoopsie.

Get your head out of your arse. This is about your kids’ schooling, not your personal crusade.

Hi OP, you won’t be the first to ask this.

At my girls prep I know it was asked by some of the parents. Believe it or not there has been growing concern amongst parents and The Girls Day School Trust which has 23 schools has blocked biological males from entering.

There is change a foot to do with the craziness of gender ideology and remember private schools are a business they are not tied to LA policies. Businesses need to look at who’s paying them and girls schools always have a high percentage of girls who from cultures who have been specifically placed because it’s girls only

@NicolaSixSix that's funny - who said I was straight?

For your information I'm bisexual, have been in long-term same sex relationships and was actually in the Stonewall careers guide back before Stonewall became a trans lobby organisation. I was the LGB diversity rep at my law firm and used to proudly march at Pride.

Now I avoid anything with the fucking Pride logo on it because it's meaningless commercial bullshit that's been hijacked by trans activists. But sure, my 'homophobia' speaks volumes 🙄

Definitely ask. Go to Safer Schools Alliance or Sex Matters for tips and advice on phrasing if you need it.

Pride seems to be all about the T these days, with less LGB. So it isn't 'homophobic' to reject it. In particular, lesbians have been undermined and patronised by trans activists.

And of course bisexual women as Dappled says.

Dappled, the pride flag remains a very positive symbol for lots of gay people

@GlassDeli thank you

It was my participation in the LGBT scene that opened my eyes to transactivism and made me deeply uncomfortable with what was going on. Seeing a man, off his head on drugs and alcohol, in lipstick and a dress, demanding to be 'treated as a woman', at an LGBT family picnic that my then 13 year old daughter was attending with me, rang massive alarm bells. Getting groped by a trans-woman at another event, who seemed to think it was acceptable because 'she' considered that 'she' was female and thus could grab my ass with impunity was another eye-opener at a lesbian night. Attending an LGBT corporate function and seeing the clear outline of a guy's penis in a sheer skirt in the women's toilets and seeing how he got off on making women uncomfortable was another nail in the coffin.

I was deeply involved in the LGBT scene for a good four years before I met my now (male partner) and now, to all intents and purposes, live a heterosexual life. But I am bisexual, have many many gay friends and most of them feel varying levels of disquiet with the trans lobby.

you would rather a religious school teach them such scientific principles as magic sky wizards, hell and creationism?

It's not like you would lump all religious schools together and brand them 'all the same' then...

In fact, an understanding of the main religions is on the National Curriculum. Not pushing fundamentalist beliefs. Many faith schools are actively inclusive of other beliefs.

@Angelinflipflops the original pride flag was a source of pride. The new one is something I want nothing to do with. All I can say is thank god for LGB Alliance for representing people like me.

As an old GDST girl, I love this.