Someone explain to Sara about sharing loos

[pink85]

I'm so tired. They really don't get it or understand why women don't wanna share with men. The second we metaphorically and actually open our spaces for them to use too we're putting ourselves at risk but people like her care more about someones feelings being hurt than real women potentialy being attacked (and not necessarily by TW but by any man) because its okay for anyone to say they're whatever sex they want and we all have to grin and bear it. Link to her tweet: Twitter

She's gone private now but basically she was saying she'd never seen anyines bits when she was using a loo so basically what was the big deal if they're peeing in a locked cubicle.

Sorry for multiple posts I have a screenshot of her tweets

I'm an adult survivor of domestic abuse in childhood - by the time I was in my early teens I was so terrified of men that I had selective mutism and couldn't go in a shop if there was a man on the till. He controlled our bathroom access at home and easy access to safe toilets remains a major issue for me even now. I wouldn't have been able to use a mixed sex toilet. I wouldn't have even gone in the door. Which with (at the time undiagnosed) endometriosis and periods that were utter carnage, would have made the world even smaller for me.

I understand that it's easier to say I'm the one with the problem rather than open your eyes and take a good look at men and be honest with yourself about what you're seeing. I understand that it feels easier and safer to prioritise male feelings over female safety, because males are so bloody scary when they want something and are told they can't have it.

But seriously I wish women like that would grow up.

But seriously I wish women like that would grow up.

Me too. They're just virtue signalling to get attention.

Agree.

And also displaying such an utter lack of both imagination and common sense to see and understand that it is not about people waving their gentials about. It's about predatory men doing what predatory men throughout time and space have always done- exploiting every opportunity open to them to take advantage of vulnerable women and girls.

And no, I am NOT saying that all TW are predators. I am saying that the whole point of this self fucking ID is that you cannot identify who is a genuine TW who wants to go about their life peacefully and who is a predatory man laughing at the situation we are now in and that we are now told to accept because otherwise we are apparently transphobes.

Obviously.

Is it someone famous or just a random?

It's about predatory men doing what predatory men throughout time and space have always done- exploiting every opportunity open to them to take advantage of vulnerable women and girls.

I really believe that for a lot of women, facing up to the truth about how some men behave is so terrifying that they can't do it, which is why they tie themselves in knots trying to deny that it's as bad as women who've experienced it claim, and to make it the woman's fault. Because if it's her fault, then it's controllable. All you have to do is not make the same mistakes and it won't happen to you.

I agree @movingcastle I was sexually assaulted when I was about 19 and when I had to take a few days off work (broken bones) and came back my female line manager asked me 'what did you do to cause that?'.

Um... got off the bus and walked home.

IMO the 'but masculine looking women' argument misses the point that when loos are segregated by sex, woen tend not to take any notice because we only expect women in there. Therefore, we assume she's a woman.

'Masculine-looking women' are surely more likely to be getting the side-eye in a mixed-sex facility, because we no longer have that confidence and are therefore more on edge.

Woen= women or we, take your pick! 😅

Unfortunately trans rights (or rather men's rights) activism has gained such extraordinary traction because women are too terrified to realise what lengths seemingly normal blokes will go to to satisfy their primal urges, and other blokes get really, really provoked by us pointing it out.

It's been a two pronged attack. One of the TWAW sort and one of the NAMALT sort. Both mentalities has helped drive this total assault on women's rights.

I dimly remember the "me too" thing a couple of years back.

This is basically the complete opposite - the "not me" movement.

Not quite clear to me why you'd want to be part of an anti-solidarity/anti-empathy movement, unless actively trying to disrupt, but they do seem to be all the rage these days.

(Thinking of the bisexual on the other thread apparently utterly baffled that anyone could be a lesbian, given that she isn't).

@LateSummerLobelia I had an incident whilst at uni, in a shared room in a youth hostel on a trip to a conference for the voluntary group we were all part of (bunk beds, all women, 1 young bloke who one of the other women knew. He chose the bunk under mine, all the others are fine with it, lights go out, then he reached up and started groping me. I told him very clearly and loudly to stop). Absolute silence from the others.

The next day I was told by the one that knew him that I wasn't to make a big deal about it because I could ruin his chances at various things, and he was a good bloke, and he had a girlfriend, anyway. Within a couple of weeks I'd been bullied out of the group. I learned something about women that night.

I'm so sorry to hear about what happened to you. x.

And sorry to hear about what happened to you as well @movingcastle x.

One of the things that shocked me at the time is how women buy in to victim blaming. I saw it for what it was at the time, but it still shocked me deeply.

That incident oddly enough followed me around for a bit within that sector. I am at a loss to explain it, other than that I had had to take time off and people knew why in those days before HR would have been on it like a ton of bricks (one would hope anyway)....and it was 30 years ago and I have long since moved both careers and countries. Neither of those things was entirely unrelated. )

Author of Drama Queen, singer/songwriter, writes comedy.

It is complete madness.

Single sex spaces aren't for people like Sara who have no fear of men or no need or desire for dignity or privacy.

They are for everyone else who does. And if you take them away, that's the cohort who will suffer.

Exactly this. Before public toilets were a thing then the size and effectiveness of your bladder was what limited women in terms of where and how far they could move from their homes.And for some women it now appears this situation has not improved in the hundred and fifty or so years since. And for anyone doubting that predatory men do not target women who need to pee then look up the stories about the difference to the lives of women in rural India when villages build toilets and the women no longer have to creep into the fields at night to avoid being raped .

I don't care whether they are predatory men or 'genuine' transwomen, just wanting to "pee in peace". I don't want to share female spaces with them. They are male and shouldn't be in there. Ever.

Totally agree Angelfish !

Yes I agree as well. We are being asked to accept men 'in case' they are TW. Yet we do not know who is a genuine TW, but you are quite right. At the end of the day I don't care. Ask the men to budge up. Not us to (always) budge up.