Concept of ‘exclusively same sex attracted’

[aseriesofstillimages]

I have seen various people on this forum say that to be gay or a lesbian is to be ‘exclusively same sex attracted’, and that therefore, for example, a woman who is attracted to or in a relationship with a trans woman cannot correctly describe herself as a lesbian.

Setting aside the problems with presuming to correct another person’s understanding of their own identity, I can’t see how this absolutist approach is logically sustainable. If I am a non-trans woman who has only ever - to my knowledge - been attracted to other non-trans women, but then am attracted to and get off with a woman in a bar who I subsequently find out is trans, do I immediately stop being a lesbian? What if I don’t stop finding the trans woman attractive after learning that she’s trans? What if I never find out she was trans - is it the case that I have ceased being a lesbian, but will never know this?

It's on 17th September in Leeds at 2 pm. Perhaps if the OP rocks up she may learn a thing or two.

If I was free, and if it wasn’t so far from me, I probably would go along - a couple of times when GC protests have happened in my area I’ve gone along (once on purpose, once I stumbled across them) and chatted to some of the participants about why they were there. It felt a lot more civilised and constructive than most of the discussions on here.

And equally, you might learn a thing or two from going to one of the many Pride marches around the country - if you haven’t before - and talking to a range of LGB people about their feelings on trans inclusion.

Yeah, some of those 'Style & Beauty' threads can be brutal. I'm too scared to even look at Gransnet.

I'd love to learn what JKR said that was transphobic. I don't suppose....?

I think the essay is still online. It's not even slightly 'transphobic' (word has lost all meaning in fairness)

@TheKeatingFive I don't believe it's transphobic either, but some people who obviously haven't read it think it is. I'm curious as to why they think that. It pretty much sums up my thoughts on trans-inclusion. I'm not l or b, I don't think I belong at Pride.

I'm a bit disappointed that the OP doesn't seem to think that lesbians who turn up for the march in Leeds won't have been at pride. She may be right, I wonder if she finds that as sad as I do. I think tw should be included as tw. OP do you think tw should be attending a Lesbian Strength march. Just to get the thread kind of back on its rails.

yep!

I'm curious as to why they think that

Because it differentiates between sex and gender and argues we should prioritise vulnerable women's sex based rights. The militant TRAs cannot deal with the idea of these women's rights prioritised before their's.

But most people who think she's transphobic do so because the internet told them that and they literally cannot think for themselves. Much less seek out her own words to verify popular opinion.

The degree to which vast numbers of people are simply brainless sheep is possibly the most depressing thing about all this.

But how would they justify it in a way that would be acceptable for public consumption. I know many people would find that explanation entirely acceptable but not everyone. And, as you said, more will let others do their thinking for them. Perhaps they can be persuaded to think for themselves?

But how would they justify it in a way that would be acceptable for public consumption. I know many people would find that explanation entirely acceptable but not everyone.

I don't think they even had to justify it. A few people yelling 'JKR is an awful transphobe' all over Twitter was enough. And suddenly that became the narrative.

I have the same sense of bewilderment about it as you. There's nothing rational about it at all. However a lot of people were very quick to try to drag a smart, successful, confident woman down.

Some people don't need any reason, just an excuse, to try to pull down someone more successful than them. Especially if it's a woman, though I wonder if envy played it's part in Glinner being dropped so quickly by his 'friends'.

I expect fear plays a part too. But 'the right side of history' narrative may help sweeten the bitter pill they have to swallow. That they're actually cowards. None of the stated 'reasons' stand scrutiny. None of their real reasons bear thinking about.

It's ridiculous to suggest that all LGB people feel the same about trans-inclusion. What a silly thing to say.