Hi OP. Many many of us have been where you are.
The whole trans movement is heavily branded as 'progressive' and piggybacks on legitimate Civil Rights movements - especially the gay and lesbian rights movement, but also feminism, disability rights and racial justice.
For this reason people like me (and from the sounds of it, you) who see themselves as being on the 'progressive' side of the political divide initially swallow it all whole and fall in line with 'trans rights!' without thinking critically about what it actually means to shift the cultural and legal definitions of womanhood and femaleness (as well as manhood and maleness) away from biological, material reality, and toward belief in an innate, gendered 'identity.'
Eventually something happens that just feels off - it might be witnessing blatantly misogynist abuse from TRAs toward women asking reasonable questions; or reading an 'inspirational' human interest story about a little boy who is being prevented from going through puberty because his love of fairy wings made it clear to his parents that he wasn't a proper boy after all; or recognising the obvious unfairness of the inclusion of males in women's sports; or coming across language that is objectifying or dehumanising toward women - or which erases the concept of womanhood all together - in the name 'inclusion' or 'intersectionality', as if women aren't ourselves still fighting for inclusion at all levels of public life, and as if being born female isn't itself an axis of oppression that is as old as time.
And that thing that first made you feel that something's 'off' about this movement niggles at you, until you start to think... "hang on. What do they mean by 'thinking like a woman' or 'living like a woman'? Isn't that a rather sexist and outdated concept?" And you might think, "what do they mean when they want me to describe myself as 'c*s'...? That I'm female-born and also happy to live within the gender roles and expectations of women in our society? Because I'm not happy with all of that at all - that's why I'm a feminist - yet I still know I'm a woman."
And you start to look at all these people you've been told are awful and 'transphobic', but now you don't see them as 'privileged' 'cs' people with the audacity to have a view on 'trans rights'... you recognise that mostly, they are women* who have a view on what it means to be a woman and who are being told to shut up, sit down, choke on a dick, and die in a fire for daring to talk about it.
You realise that all the progress of the feminist movement - to which you and your sisters and daughters owe so much - was based on asserting the fact that what a woman is, is a human being with a female body and any personality, any interests and aptitudes, any role she damn well chooses and is able for.
And now along has come this regressive backlash, disguised as a progressive Civil Rights movement, which says the opposite: that a woman is someone with a 'woman' personality (now rebranded as 'gender identity'), and that the body - penis or vagina, XX or XY - is irrelevant to any claim to womanhood. And we are all supposed to be just fine with the idea that 'female' itself is now a type of personality, not a type of body. Womanhood is to be erased as a concept, or else redefined as being a roleplay; an expression in clothing and makeup; an adoptable and disposable identity. And any discussion about the implications of having female biology - such as how people with female bodies might be impacted by changes to abortion law - must refer to this half of humanity by their body parts and functions, because there is now no word with which to describe the formerly-known-as-female half of humanity as a distinct class of their own.
And as all this becomes clear to you, it's infuriating, and frustrating, and also disorienting and upsetting, because so much culturally and politically is divided as if between two teams, and you've always been team 'progressive' but now that you see how wrong they have got this particular issue, you can't unsee it. If you're very financially secure and/or very brave, you might publicly challenge what you now recognise as misogynist ultra-individualism in progressive clothing. But if you can't face the risks of being 'cancelled', you just wait in hope for more people to see it for what it is, and you are enormously heartened when you see progress in that direction, whether it's ordinary women like Maya, Kiera and Allison mounting legal challenges; famous people like Glinner, Jo and Bette putting their heads above the proverbial parapet; or new posters to the Feminism board saying 'this feels off to me... can you help me understand why?'