*I actually think what we've seen from Mark Plant is a fairly common male perspective and probably is quite close to what he thinks. We saw yesterday that he isn't actually that bothered about Maya wanting to distinguish between sex and gender etc, would've been happy enough for her to go on talking had it not become a problem for him, and would ideally have preferred the anti-Maya faction in the company to just get over themselves. At the very least, he wasn't bothered enough about it to want to go to any trouble at all.
But then got actively angry when the issue was framed in terms of the threat to women from male violence, Schrodingers Rapist etc. Basically his problem starts once it becomes in any way personal for him.*
It's male fragility, similar to the visceral reaction of white fragility. It's one thing to acknowledge that racism/sexism is endemic and structural, but another to realise you are part of the problem. When they say NAMALT, they are saying "don't include me! Or my friends - I am a decent bloke and as I like them, they have to be decent blokes too."
They refuse to see because it would mean acknowledging their privilege - and that's unbearable. If you are decent and love women, it means knowing that up to a third of your male friends would willingly hurt a female. If you are not decent, you want to cover up those feelings, you deflect. Either way, it's a visceral reaction.