Email from teacher: Child has come out as non binary

[GoingtoGlasgow]

As per title.

Received email from form tutor (Yr 7 if it matters) saying DC has spoke to them in confidence saying they are non binary. They would like permission from me to tell the subject teachers to use the pronouns they/them.

How do I respond to this?

Before the email (1 day before) got A message with a gif from DC saying 'I'm non binary'. Followed by a text 'do you accept me?'

I replied of course. Bloody love DC why would I not

Just feel they have entered puberty and don't identify with their biological sex.

Have discussed with them that I feel non binary from a gender point of view... don't do anything stereotypically girl like long hair, dresses, make up, prosecco. But don't want to change my pronouns because I definitely feel like the sex I was born with: difficult pregnancies, heavy periods and being seen as 'a woman with kids' when going for promotion.

They think humans can change sex. 'They have surgery'. I said in 1000 years when they find the person's bones that had a fake penis implanted on them and their breasts removed, will they identify that person as make or female. They said they woman. But still humans can change sex according to them.

@hopperrock

Non-binary does come under the trans umbrella and it is quite probable one leads to the other.

They may come under the same umbrella for some, but non-binary is not the same as transitioning and does not necessarily lead to it, or to binding or tucking.

Also what do you think happens if you tell a child in the early stages of social transition that eventually they can change sex

This is the exact opposite of what the OP has told her child though?

There is also harm and risk attached to a parent refusing to acknowledge their DC's own sense of identity. Where are they going to talk about this if they get shut down at home? If the OP wants to have any chance of making sure the DC is properly informed and feels able to change their mind if they want to, she needs to be having a lot of conversations with them.

My comment on binding and tucking wasn't aimed at the OP but where the discussion was going. Also I do believe a lot of Jon binary girls do bind as their idea of not being male or female is to flatten their breasts.

Absolutely the parent needs to keep an open dialogue with their child, however I do advocate for the watchful waiting approach.

I believe that sex determine your expected reproductive capability

This can't change. No type xx has ever impregnated a type xy

And nothing else

Yes that's pure biology

But i am not allowing that to explode over one's whole being

That's the gender trap

I won't put myself in it and I wont put anyone else in it either

“Do we have to believe them when they say they conceived a child naturally?”

Literally no trans woman says this, you've never actually interacted with trans people before (not without barraging them with your ignorant presumptions anyhow), and it really shows.

You are 'almost' correct here.

In fact, we have been told by transitioned males that they will very soon be pregnant and deliver infants. On this very board.

And there are quite a few transitioned males out there having 'pregnancy' glamour shoots where they are indeed being photographed with fake pregnancies. And then there are transitioned males who have joined pregnancy groups, breast feeding groups and even, stillborn support groups. One even stated that they were about to give birth to their stillborn child, and prioritised their needs above the needs of women who needed the group. The women who need these groups are often ejected if they do not go along with these posters.

So.... you are 'almost' correct. But as usual, the 'all or nothing' approach leaves a whole lot of nuance unaccounted for.

And then there are transitioned males who have joined pregnancy groups, breast feeding groups and even, stillborn support groups.

I want to make clear here that these groups that transitioned males are joining are ones set up by females, for females only. Not for any males despite their needs for support. These were not 'mixed sex' groups.

And are just another single sex space that then disappears and females are left without the support they need.

Kind, eh?

It's called forcing someone into the closet.

You want to force trans women to conform to the role of a "man", no matter how miserable or suicidal it makes them.

and

The role of a "man". Which is imposed by imposing that label. The role includes "sex-based" labels and "sex-based" segregation.

These are parts of the role, which you militantly uphold.

No. If the word 'man' means any person born male, with the body formed around the production of small gametes (whether this happens or not), then a man can present themselves any way they wish to. They can be as feminine as they want.

Male people cannot be female people ever. I am still waiting to see you back up your assertions on this or another thread about 'science' saying that sex is not binary.

But they can be a male with any personality, any choice of personal style, any employment, any interest.

You really need to stop telling people on this board what your prejudiced view of them is, and engage. Otherwise, start showing some evidence for your own extremist assertions.

@Lekisa658
Non-binary is about not identifying with the categories of "man" and "woman" in the first place.

Can you explain this for me in a bit more detail? I am relatively new here.

You mean a non-binary person does not identify with the (socially/culturally) 'assigned roles' of men and women?

Or you mean that they do not believe that they are either male or female at all?

@GoingtoGlasgow Dr Thomas Steensma recognises the significance of 'social transition', and warns against:

"A childhood transition has an effect by itself and influences the
cognitive gender identity representation of the child and/or their
future development…..transitioned children may repress doubts
about the transition out of fear that they have to go through the
process of making his or her desire to socially transition public for
a second time. Our qualitative findings are in support of the idea
that children may struggle with changing back to their original
gender role, because they dread being teased or excluded by their
peers if they would revert to their original gender role. We found
that for one natal girl, this struggle to go back to the female
gender role took a period of nearly two years.”

oops... wrong thread.... but at this stage this poster has posted the same things on both threads so it is probably relevant!

To be clear I want people to be able to live without need to modify or change their physical self in any way and at the very same time without needing to conform to any social role they don't like

Many apologies OP for those random posts.

Apologies if this has already been posted:
pitt.substack.com/p/living-in-a-war-zone-my-daughters?utm_source=url

Another link:
pitt.substack.com/p/they-say-desistance-is-rare-but-is?utm_source=url

If my DD or DS said they wanted to change sex I would share information about detransitioners. The people who thought they would be able to change and now live in limbo with irreversible damage. It doesn't matter if they sue a clinic/NHS for not providing counselling instead, they are not really being listened to.

The LGBT only focuses on TWAW and not on the collateral damaged young people.

It's such a wind up on a feminist board for people to come along and claim that all the stereotypical roles assigned to men and women are being 'busted open by being trans'. When it's the opposite.

@Lekisa658 do you not understand that a male individual who doesn't want to be assigned a masculine role by society, but would rather inhabit a feminine one, is cementing those roles forevermore, by saying it makes him a woman?

Do you understand that?

Do you understand that a man who wants to be feminine because he's upset over the masculinity expected of him, is endorsing those sexist roles, by claiming you must be the correct sex in order to display them?

A man can't be feminine - he must claim to be a woman in order to be feminine. A woman can't be masculine, it must make her a man. Can't be powerful, a leader, assertive, logical. God no.

It's unutterably regressive.

Of course, I'm of the opinion that there are great swathes of men who absolutely want to cement the gender roles. They want woman to mean fluffy, weak, submissive. MRAs and TRAs often want the same thing, but for different reasons.

My point was essentially woman appears to mean anyone now, stereotypical 'covers' don't matter. Anyone, anywhere can say they are a woman with blind acceptance expected.