M&S frets about customers' feelings re Mother's Day

[Abitofalark]

Amanda Platell writes that M&S asked shoppers if they'd prefer not to be reminded of Mother's Day:

"M&S seems to be tying it itself in PC knots by fretting over the feelings of women unable to have children — or is it attempting to placate those in the trans lobby for whom ‘mother’ may be an offensive word?

Whatever, the email we loyal shoppers received asking us if we’d prefer not to be reminded of Mother’s Day was absurd — not least because it managed to remind us of Mother’s Day anyway."

I think that's mainly to avoid upsetting people who are grieving their mothers. They do the same for father's Day.

She’s a tone deaf fuckwit then.

When your mother is dead, seeing Mother’s Day stuff everywhere can be upsetting. There’s no avoiding that but being able to opt out of having ‘Mother’s Day’ emails is a small kindness that many people appreciate.

@NuffSaidSam

I think that's mainly to avoid upsetting people who are grieving their mothers. They do the same for father's Day.

I agree. I’ve seen these emails from various businesses for a few years now.

Yep, I always thought these are to do with those of us whose parents are no longer around.

There are far more obvious reasons for wanting to opt out of receiving marketing for Mother's Day. I don't think M&S are fretting here.

I think that being able to opt out of messages for days like this is becoming quite standard.
When I was suffering infertility I might well have wanted to not receive emails on this. Similarly for people whose mums have passed away.
It is just the business equivalent of schools being mindful of who is in their class when making others or fathers day cards.

It is easy to become paranoid when our words are being redefined.

I get these from several businesses now. Same with Valentine’s Day, Father’s Day etc. I think it’s a nice thing to do actually.

I get these opt out emails from various companies on mother's day, fathers day, valentines day etc etc

Get the same messages for Valentine’s Day, Father’s Day… I think it’s more about being aware of certain dates being difficult for people, rather than trying to erase Motherhood.

Yeah, I dont think this is about trans stuff at all. Infertility, much-missed mothers, painfully crap mothers... I've had a number of these and while I get the email itself mentions mothers, it obviously then gives people the chance to opt out of numerous more flowery marketing ones. Seems sensible enough.

Most retailers do this.

Imagine how obsessed you'd have to be to try and relate everything to trans women.

‘Frets’ has such a dismissive undertone.

I can’t have children. I’d love to be able to opt out of Mother’s Day, so if this was about allowing people not to receive MD emails and also musing on perhaps not mentioning it at every opportunity through March, I think that’s not a terrible idea.

Whatever you are celebrating, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, Christmas…. There will always be people that will upset by it because it will bring sad memories to them. That’s life!

Opting out of marketing is fine.

I understand what you mean re Mother’s Day being redefined/erased though. It’s definitely a Thing. For a few years now Instagram has been full of anti-mother stuff on Mother’s Day.

@RockPaperScience

‘Frets’ has such a dismissive undertone.

I can’t have children. I’d love to be able to opt out of Mother’s Day, so if this was about allowing people not to receive MD emails and also musing on perhaps not mentioning it at every opportunity through March, I think that’s not a terrible idea.

Are you not celebrating (or were) with your own mother though?

I agree, they could just allow people to opt out from Mother’s Day email (or Father’s Day or whatever other celebration). But not talking about it all together?

That's all news to me, probably because I'm not signed up to M&S or other shops' schemes and I don't open random marketing emails.

I assumed it was because some grieving the loss of their mother would find it upsetting to get emails of Mother’s Day goodies.

My mum died 15 years ago (in a few weeks) and I am cool with Mother’s Day stuff (we loved it when we were kids - buying the flowers and cards) but some people aren’t because their grief of new/raw.

Mum would have said it was being silly to expect everyone else to pretend it wasn’t happening and that you can’t avoid it.

I never assumed it was a trans/infertility thing, just a loss thing. Also - some people have had bloody awful mums and it might make them feel terrible to see all the ‘perfect mums’ smiling away with armfuls of flowers, flanked by adoring children.

When I get the emails I just ignore or open if I want to suggest something for DH to get his mum.

Offering the option to opt out of marketing is perfectly acceptable. It makes sense both for the company and the customer.
The company can target customers more accurately without pissing them off.
The person who doesn't want the marketing is happy too. I have a friend whose child died and dreads Mother's Day and the reminders it brings.

@NuffSaidSam

I think that's mainly to avoid upsetting people who are grieving their mothers. They do the same for father's Day.

Yes, this. I regularly buy from a small company which sends a similar email before the Mother's Day marketing starts. I'm always grateful for the opportunity to opt out.

In response to above question: Nope. She’s not a nice person.

I’m not arguing for Mothers Day to be cancelled! And I havent seen the email in question. My perspective was that if it was about allowing people to reduce their exposure a little in a way that was manageable by them, I think dismissing it as ‘fretting’ is missing the point a little.

If the communication was ‘shall we cancel Mother’s Day?’ my view would be different.

Its nothing to do with 'placating the trans lobby' and shame on those who try and spin this into yet another campaign against trans people.

They've had these emails for years. It's not a gender thing it's for people in grief. Lots of retailers do it.

I think you've misunderstood. I don't think this is about the word morher. It is useful to opt out of these things. My baby died at 9 months old and it was good to be able to opt out of things like Mother's Day.

I hadn’t even considered bereaved mothers - FemaleAndLearning, I’m so sorry for your loss.

She's a bit late!
A lot of shops have done this the last few year,not just M&S. They also do it for Father's day.