M&S frets about customers' feelings re Mother's Day

[Abitofalark]

Amanda Platell writes that M&S asked shoppers if they'd prefer not to be reminded of Mother's Day:

"M&S seems to be tying it itself in PC knots by fretting over the feelings of women unable to have children — or is it attempting to placate those in the trans lobby for whom ‘mother’ may be an offensive word?

Whatever, the email we loyal shoppers received asking us if we’d prefer not to be reminded of Mother’s Day was absurd — not least because it managed to remind us of Mother’s Day anyway."

@FemaleAndLearning

I think you've misunderstood. I don't think this is about the word morher. It is useful to opt out of these things. My baby died at 9 months old and it was good to be able to opt out of things like Mother's Day.

This absolutely. I’m fine with it now but when I lost my second son 15 years ago the very thought of Mother’s Day was traumatic. My husband lost his mother last year and isn’t looking forward to this year’s Mother’s Day.

As a small business in the gift and fashion industry I send an opt out email as I’d hate my marketing to make people sad or upset.

@LowlandLucky

PhrenologlistsFinger Yes i am compassionate but surely by the time you are an adult you can ignore Mothers/Fathers/Grandparents day. Death is part of life and we all have to suffer it. Not having my Mum, Grandparents or my 2 babies that didn't make it hurts but i can't expect the world to stop for me.

I’m not expecting the world to stop for me because my son died. I do however appreciate when companies I genuinely enjoy getting marketing emails from appreciate that I may not wish to get emails about an occasion I have found upsetting in the past.

@LauriePartridge4Eva Literally no one on this thread has tried to do this.

@LauriePartridge4Eva

My mother passed away last August and I think this is ridiculous. People have really got to stop being so self absorbed and, yes, pathetic. I just feel happy for everyone who still has their mother. Anything else is just ridiculous.

But not everyone deals with death in the same way. My mum was murdered and I do get angry about the fact she was taken from me so young and that we've both missed out on so many experiences we should have shared. I find Mother's Day difficult some years - that doesn't make me pathetic.

@LauriePartridge4Eva

Opt out by all means. It's the people who make sure we all hear about their reasons I don't get. Just do it and get on with your life ffs. But stop trying to end things for people because YOU might find it hard.

Nobody is trying to stop things. Not one person on this thread has suggested that people shouldn't celebrate Mother's Day. It's just that some people like to opt out of the marketing emails.

Lots of businesses have done it since early in the pandemic. Someone is trying to create froth where there needn't be any, here.

@LauriePartridge4Eva

Opt out by all means. It's the people who make sure we all hear about their reasons I don't get. Just do it and get on with your life ffs. But stop trying to end things for people because YOU might find it hard.

I think you might have posted on the wrong thread. This one is about opting out of marketing emails!

Moonpig have also sent out such an email.

@LowlandLucky

For goodness sake, why would anyone be upset because the caught a glimpse of a Mothers day card ? My Mum died when i was young, i don't go to pieces on Mothers day, i don't think nobody else should celebrate it because my Mum is dead. Death is part of life and yes of course there are times even years later that grief stabs your heart but sending out emails asking if you want to opt out of a day is just down right ridiculous.

Other people might be feeling raw about their bereavement, particularly if it's recent. It's incredibly unkind to suggest that those people are being oversensitive when they don't want to stumble upon emails suggesting which flowers or chocolates they might want to send their dead mother.

No one is suggesting cancelling mothers day. All this is about is opting out of some marketing emails that may be particularly unwelcome.

I, for one are glad to have the option. Its not erasing mothers day. It's about making it a bit more manageable for people.

My mum died, suddenly at 66, 14 weeks ago. People can say I need to toughen up or whatever, but they can fuck off.

Opting out of the Mother's days emails isn't erasing mothers day and opting literally has fuck all to do with anyone else.

And tbh, right now. I dont want to be a grown up, understanding that death is part of life on one hand. But also feelings desperately unhappy and empty because my mum isn't here.

If people have an issue about how I am grieving or managing it, I would say that's their issue. Not mine. And, maybe, people who think and say 'well it doesn't bother me so anyone else who it does bother is wrong', aren't as ok as they pretend.

I might be heart broken, but i still understand everyone is different and have empathy for people who are struggling a more than I am.

@LauriePartridge4Eva

Opt out by all means. It's the people who make sure we all hear about their reasons I don't get. Just do it and get on with your life ffs. But stop trying to end things for people because YOU might find it hard.

But no one is trying to do that, and the only reason people need to explain why companies offer this is because OP and Amanda apparently can’t apply a bit of logic and common sense.

It's not really kindness, is it?. It's just to enable better targeted marketing. Choosing to opt out of mother's day/father's day tells you something about the person which helps you sell to them more effectively and something also the same about the people who don't opt out.

@LauriePartridge4Eva

Opt out by all means. It's the people who make sure we all hear about their reasons I don't get. Just do it and get on with your life ffs. But stop trying to end things for people because YOU might find it hard.

Why? If I opt out of particular marketing emails does that mean you receive emails explaining why I did it?

I f*cking hate mother's day as it's a reminder I'll never be one. Worst day of the year and it hurts more and more as the years go by.

That being said; never would I ever expect anyone to stop celebrating it just because of 'my' feelings. It's selfish. People need to get over themselves and let people celebrate what's important to them.

Bring on the wine and tissues.

@Nickwinkle

I f*cking hate mother's day as it's a reminder I'll never be one. Worst day of the year and it hurts more and more as the years go by.

That being said; never would I ever expect anyone to stop celebrating it just because of 'my' feelings. It's selfish. People need to get over themselves and let people celebrate what's important to them.

Bring on the wine and tissues.

Is the only way to celebrate Mother’s Day by reading marketing emails?

Because otherwise I don’t know how some people opting out of emails in anyway equates to people demanding no one celebrates MD.

Once again, @Nickwinkle, it's not about cancelling the day, merely about not wanting to see adverts referring to it in your own, private, mailbox. Your own private mailbox that has no effect on anybody else.

Pretty sure the emails I got asked if I wanted to opt out of any further mothers day marketing.

Not, would I like to sign a petition to cancel mothers day for everyone. Not even sure how that would be achieved. How do you stop someone celebrating in their own home?

@Nickwinkle

I f*cking hate mother's day as it's a reminder I'll never be one. Worst day of the year and it hurts more and more as the years go by.

That being said; never would I ever expect anyone to stop celebrating it just because of 'my' feelings. It's selfish. People need to get over themselves and let people celebrate what's important to them.

Bring on the wine and tissues.

Who is expecting people not to celebrate Mother's Day? Not one person has suggested that. It's literally about opting out of marketing emails 🤷🏼‍♀️

@LizDoingTheCanCan

Most retailers do this.

Imagine how obsessed you'd have to be to try and relate everything to trans women.

100% this

@Nickwinkle

I f*cking hate mother's day as it's a reminder I'll never be one. Worst day of the year and it hurts more and more as the years go by.

That being said; never would I ever expect anyone to stop celebrating it just because of 'my' feelings. It's selfish. People need to get over themselves and let people celebrate what's important to them.

Bring on the wine and tissues.

I think you might have posted on the wrong thread?

This is one is about opting out of marketing emails, not cancelling mother's day.

Every single company sends me emails to ask if I want to opt out of Mother's Day emails - and Father's Day emails. I think it shows thought and consideration.

I have never come across these marketing emails.

Amanda Platell has misunderstood the purpose of those emails. Lots of companies now allow customers to opt out of Mother’s Day and Father’s Day promotional emails and it’s a kind thing to do. Mother’s Day is painful when you’ve suffered either the loss of a child or the loss of your own mother

I don’t get this. Surely by reminding you about Mothers Day and asking you to turn off their advert for Mothers Day, they are giving you the reminder anyway and then compounding the upset by you having to opt out, then wrapping it up as aren’t we so considerate asking you to click-acknowledge the grief/loss to a marketing firm of a shop. And then do it all again next year.
If they were really considerate they wouldn’t send any adverts for Mother’s Day etc.
People could, you know, just go to the shop or click on the website. Because I bet you click on the website and Mother’s Day is plastered all over it.