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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Feminism: chat

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Original poster

A third female teenager I know has transitioned.

144 replies

PermanentTemporary · 01/02/2022 07:10

This one is only 15, the others were 18, all changing to live as men. I also have a male cousin who transitioned to live as a woman in middle age a few years back. A friend's male partner has transitioned to nonbinary in their 30s.

I'm a very ordinary suburban woman in my 50s. Is this low numbers? High?

OP posts:

KittenKong · 01/02/2022 07:37

Transition - as is copying gender stereotypes or medicalisation route?

Beamur · 01/02/2022 07:44

I think there are lots of teenage girls who are cutting their hair short, adopting new names/pronouns who I suspect may drift away from doing so as they get older. For many it's become part of growing up and figuring themselves out.
Transition with medication and surgery is also more visible than it used to be.

Xoxoxoxoxoxox · 01/02/2022 07:45

I know of one 16 year old girl who has transitioned to be a boy around 6 years ago and one boy in my son’s junior school who dressed as a girl and changed their name a few years ago.

My son has had no friends in secondary school who have transitioned, he goes to a Christian school and they are not pushing the TWAW ideology I think that has helped.

KittenKong · 01/02/2022 07:50

Show how is that different from when I was a teen and girls tended not to try to look like Baywatch babes, and cropped hair was a fashion (more Annie Lennox)?

Fairly usual to have nicknames (either made up, or Georgia would be Georgie). Clothes were baggy and often ‘boys’.

If anyone had asked if we were boys we would have laughed at them and called them idiots. We were being who we were - pretending to be older or more confident, cool, sophisticated… but still us.

waterlego · 01/02/2022 07:55

I am mid 40s. I don’t know any adults who have transitioned or are transitioning. DD aged 16 and DS aged 13 both have quite a few school friends/acquaintances who are identifying out of their ‘gender’. All of them are girls, mostly identifying as non-binary with a couple identifying as boys.

waterlego · 01/02/2022 07:56

And although I don’t know them personally, there are a handful of individuals in my town who are male who wear overtly feminine dresses and heels, make up, wigs etc. I assume they are transwomen but wouldn’t know as I haven’t asked!

SelfCakering · 01/02/2022 07:57

I know of 5 girls in our small town who have transitioned (new names, calling themselves boys, binding etc - not sure if they have taken hormones yet but seems like that's the usual trajectory). Aged between 9 and 14. I also have a niece (21) who is now apparently a man - definitely taking testosterone. None of them seem very happy

Original poster

PermanentTemporary · 01/02/2022 07:59

Transition as in saying they are now 'new name' and pronouns. One of the females has a very different voice now so I would think is on hormones but obviously that's private. I believe one of the males has had surgery.

OP posts:

Iamnotamermaid · 01/02/2022 07:59

I know of one teenage girl who is having counselling as she does not know if she is a 'her/him/it'. Just finding the constant pressure of being expected to identify as something other than a fickle, moody, unpredictable teenage too much.

KittenKong · 01/02/2022 08:08

That sounds like normal teen angst though. Add onto that the constant barrage of gender and rainbows, it must be intolerable for young people.

nannybeach · 01/02/2022 08:09

My best friend worked in a gender re alignment section of a big London hospital. My DD had a boyfriend who dad trans to female, right down to surgery. The boy was so screwed up. You used to have all this psychological evaluation beforehand
One psychologist left the Tavistock last year because she wasn't happy with the way things were progressing at speed. Friends DD at 8 decided she wanted to be a boy,cut off her hair,only wore boys clothes. My own youngest DD pleaded she wanted to become male as a teenager, because of terrible period pain. Neither did. Of course there are a few people who believe they are in the wrong body. A huge percent are autistic. Speaking with my friend,in 50 years,there will be a huge amount of people unable to have the children they desire because of hormone treatment. I see children are crowd funding to buy illegal hormones.

GroggyLegs · 01/02/2022 08:15

My own youngest DD pleaded she wanted to become male as a teenager, because of terrible period pain.

This is really telling - so many of these girls seem to be trying to escape being a woman, not validating an inner feeling that they are male.

KittenKong · 01/02/2022 08:28

I didn’t want to be male but I did want to be invisible. Having a huge building site next to my school when I was in sixth year was probably the source of that.

teawamutu · 01/02/2022 08:33

In the last few weeks I've become aware of two teenage MTFs and one FtNB in my wider circle. It's disconcerting.

highame · 01/02/2022 08:33

Is it time to look at expectations. Young people are being told they should be happy and therefore, if they are not, they are trying to find the magic bullet. There is no magic bullet. Happiness is never really defined and therefore, somewhat like gender, sadness and anxiety get lumped into mental health when they are normal parts of growing up. Anxiety can be a warning mechanism and useful to survival. We need some sort of realism in how children are educated and reared. Solutions to normal teenage angst seem to have become more extreme.

Perhaps we need to teach our young women how to accept and how to reject not to soak up like a sponge.

AngelsWithSilverWings · 01/02/2022 08:40

I know of two.

A close friend's daughter who was always into whatever the boys were into right from being a tiny toddler is now 18 and has identified as male for 18 months now. He is waiting for counselling to start of the process of transitioning and is saving up for breast surgery. None of us were at all surprised when the family told us. We've met up with the family quite a few times and there is barely a difference in appearance other then the wearing of a binder. He is happier - that's all. We've all got used to using the correct pronouns and new name ( with the occasional slip up that is always forgiven)

The other is someone my DS16 knew from pre school and primary. She only ever wanted to play with the boys as a young child and often came over for play dates with my DS. They went to different secondary schools but will be attending DS's sixth form from September. DS is not surprised about the change but has said it's going to weird getting used to using a new name after using the old one for so long. We reminded him that he has already got used to our friend's DD new name so it will be no different.

I'm also aware of a child at our local infants school who went home one Friday as as a boy and came back on the Monday identifying as a girl.

A friend who teaches at the local catholic girls school has told me that there seems to be a few in each year group who will identify as male at some stage.

Small commuter town in the south east.

WarriorN · 01/02/2022 08:44

It's starting to sound like this is common.

I have a few school yard mum friends who are gps; there was a brief conversation with much head shaking about numbers of kids asking for referrals. I've not yet had a full discussion with them . I got the impression they were concerned it was all a trend but their hands are actually tied and they obviously must followed referrals etc.

I've been told by another Gp friend the rates of referrals are high but also kids seeking Gp help with sexuality too. So i suspect there's homophobia in the mix

WarriorN · 01/02/2022 08:47

A few teachers on mn have posted about sudden noticeable rise in schools

AngelsWithSilverWings · 01/02/2022 09:02

Oh just remembered another! My cousin now identifies as male. We are not close - I have been NC with my Aunt for years and hadn't seen my cousin since she was a baby. Did see them briefly at my Grandads funeral in 2020 and just assumed they were male until my Mum told me they had transitioned.

IvyTwines · 01/02/2022 09:03

@KittenKong

Show how is that different from when I was a teen and girls tended not to try to look like Baywatch babes, and cropped hair was a fashion (more Annie Lennox)?

Fairly usual to have nicknames (either made up, or Georgia would be Georgie). Clothes were baggy and often ‘boys’.

If anyone had asked if we were boys we would have laughed at them and called them idiots. We were being who we were - pretending to be older or more confident, cool, sophisticated… but still us.

It's very different. This is misogynistic and for many rooted in a desire to flee from womanhood, which they are now told is a social role, passive, silly, frilly, what they see in porn and reality shows, rather than biological reality. When we wore vintage men's jackets in the 1980s it was in a subversive way that never let go of or erased our femaleness. For adult women, the big shoulders, short but big hair look was actually called 'power dressing'. When we wrote male/male fanfic in the 1990s it was about subverting the male characters and giving two fingers to the male writers who didn't include female characters in the TV shows. We wanted a very male-dominated society to change, make space for us women and girls as equals, not, as today's girls do, think the only way for a patriarchal society to include them and take them seriously and stop sexually harassing them is to erase their femaleness, look as plain as possible and become 'boys'.

Signalbox · 01/02/2022 09:28

I was about to post similar op. In the last 6 months every time I meet up with someone with teenagers there is some story of transition (which I never introduce). My cousin’s daughter (15) has changed name and pronouns to they/them (and had the all important haircut). A friend’s son (15) has changed name and pronouns to she/her (and has grown hair out). Another friend told us about friend whose daughter’s best friend (15) had identified as a boy and had committed suicide (which was allegedly the parent’s fault for being non supportive). Another friend’s daughter (15) has a boy who identifies as a girl in their class and have been debating whether or not they/them pronouns were nonsense.

I mean it is clear that trans is sweeping the nation as a youth trend. It must have peaked by now. These people are no longer alternative or special which means the whole thing must lose it’s allure at some point.

Oblomov22 · 01/02/2022 09:29

It seems to be gaining momentum here in Surrey. 3 boys in our local school. 3 boys in Ds1 and ds2's, which is the other local school. Makes me so sad.

IvyTwines · 01/02/2022 09:30

I know several families going through this with their children, including a relative. Most are girls but two are boys and both want the surgical works. Some are pre-teen. It's much more of a thing with the wealthier, middle class families and private schools I know of, though not entirely. I only know of one over 20 wanting 'top surgery' to be 'non-binary', but they are in the USA.

Jacaranda75 · 01/02/2022 09:35

This is really telling - so many of these girls seem to be trying to escape being a woman, not validating an inner feeling that they are male.

@GroggyLegs and THIS is why so many of us were anorexic in the 1980s. I firmly believe gender dysphoria in girls is the new anorexia.

Thirtytimesround · 01/02/2022 09:36

Well, I live a fairly conservative area and don’t know anyone, youngnor old, who is messing about with pronouns or trying to change their gender.

It’s a social contagion thing.

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