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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

A third female teenager I know has transitioned.

144 replies

PermanentTemporary · 01/02/2022 07:10

This one is only 15, the others were 18, all changing to live as men. I also have a male cousin who transitioned to live as a woman in middle age a few years back. A friend's male partner has transitioned to nonbinary in their 30s.

I'm a very ordinary suburban woman in my 50s. Is this low numbers? High?

OP posts:
thinkingaboutLangCleg · 02/02/2022 09:05

A friend’s 13-year-old daughter goes to Q Club at her school. Friend asked what that was. Daughter said “Queer Club”.

A gentle, friendly-seeming introduction to trans ideology.

WarriorN · 02/02/2022 09:20

@milohuissk

Two influential and experienced members of WPATH have outright said that there's an issue with social contagion among teen girls driven by social media:

"peer and social media influence do seem to play a role in encouraging the current, unprecedented spike in transgender identification by teen girls;"

And that puberty blockers are very problematic, one reason being that they stop males wanting to be women ever experiencing any normal Sexual development. They don't experience any pleasure at all.

https://abigailshrier.substack.com/p/why-marci-matters

But the bombshell – the point made to me in interviews with so many endocrinologists, but never by any providers of transgender medicine – was that “orgasmic naïveté” is real and it’s a problem.

In Bowers’ words:

When you block puberty, the problem is that a lot of the kids are orgasmically naive. So in other words, if you've never had an orgasm pre-surgery and then your puberty's blocked, it's very difficult to achieve that afterwards. And I think that I consider that a big problem, actually. It's kind of an overlooked problem that in our informed consent of children undergoing puberty blockers, we've in some respects overlooked that a little bit.

Bowers was / is (ongoing issues) Jazz Jennings's surgeon, a trans woman.

Given many detransitioned people describe very little gatekeeping or prior information to enable full informed consent, every person speaking out about this is absolutely right to do so. And we will keep doing so.

A third female teenager I know has transitioned.
thirdfiddle · 02/02/2022 09:25

All these haircuts! I can't believe how attached to gender stereotypes this generation are.

KittenKong · 02/02/2022 09:28

@thinkingaboutLangCleg

A friend’s 13-year-old daughter goes to Q Club at her school. Friend asked what that was. Daughter said “Queer Club”.

A gentle, friendly-seeming introduction to trans ideology.

That word makes my sphincter tighten.

So would any other group call themselves the ‘X’ club when it was a racial, religious or sexist slur? When the adults are old enough to have had the word screamed at them as they got their heads kicked in as young adults?

Gotta run - a meeting of the ‘raging old bitches’ is about to start…🙄

Phobiaphobic · 02/02/2022 09:44

I predict it's about two years before @MumstheWordle tries to pretend she never wrote that post.

SingToTheSky · 02/02/2022 09:55

@highame

Is it time to look at expectations. Young people are being told they should be happy and therefore, if they are not, they are trying to find the magic bullet. There is no magic bullet. Happiness is never really defined and therefore, somewhat like gender, sadness and anxiety get lumped into mental health when they are normal parts of growing up. Anxiety can be a warning mechanism and useful to survival. We need some sort of realism in how children are educated and reared. Solutions to normal teenage angst seem to have become more extreme. Perhaps we need to teach our young women how to accept and how to reject not to soak up like a sponge.
This! It’s become wrong to be able to sit with any negative feelings at all, there has to be an answer to everything.

It’s quite odd when you put it next to the very on trend word resilience

IvyTwines · 02/02/2022 09:56

It's the 'othering' of that word that disturbs me, too. Without 'othering', it has no definition. It deliberately seeks to position the LGBTQ alphabet as not a part of mainstream society, but instead in opposition. Us and they/them. It feels like a pushback against all the achievements in equality of the late 20th century, regressing to a mindset from the1950s backwards, gay as other, 'Farr is Queer'.

SingToTheSky · 02/02/2022 10:03

I've been told by another Gp friend the rates of referrals are high but also kids seeking Gp help with sexuality too. So i suspect there's homophobia in the mix

Absolutely. Transitioning away the gay. Going by what’s happening at my eldest’s school, it’s easier to present as male than to be out as a lesbian or bisexual :(

Chandeleur · 02/02/2022 10:15

What made me a bit cross was that when discussing all this with dd, that all her fears and worries were quite NORMAL for a girl going through puberty. That it is a phase, and mostly driven by hormones. As PP above said - there is not a magic bullet, but puberty blockers have been put out there AS that. In my day, you confided in your friends, or wrote long existential diary entries, or got multiple ear piercings, or died your hair etc etc. And eventually you got more comfortable in your skin again - at least in the vast majority of cases. This idea that kids are going through something "special" that no-one can possibly understand, and need to have constant validation of this, is not really healthy or helpful in my humble opinion.

SingToTheSky · 02/02/2022 10:40

Lockdown won't have helped. All of that uncontrolled Internet time.

Definitely.

When we limited DD1’s time on tiktok she became much less sucked into the gender stuff

Scraggythang · 02/02/2022 11:27

@Phobiaphobic if they’ve bothered to do any further reading then I’d imagine they already are.

So many of us were once part of the ‘be kind’ brigade at one point.

LondonWolf · 02/02/2022 12:02

less amab people come out as trans as it is more stigmatized and looked down upon because of gender stereotypes etc.

Hmm, to the extent of a 4400% rise in girls "transitioning"? I'm not convinced.

jytdtysrht · 02/02/2022 12:44

They have clubs for LGBTQ+, Pride etc at my teens' school. I am perfectly happy for anyone to be whoever they want to be.

However I do think it's becoming a problem to just be fine with the sex you were born and straight. Virtually none of the girls at my dd's school are fine with their sex and straight - it's boring and even can be viewed as phobic of any other categories. They all have a variety of labels for themselves. Whilst it is forwards progress for those who are gay, trans etc, it's actually backwards progress for those who aren't and feel that they perhaps ought to be one of these things. It's almost shameful to be straight and happy with your sex now.

PermanentTemporary · 02/02/2022 12:45

It would of course be very weird if my team insisted on using the wrong name for me at work. And I'm sure it happens to people with names from minority cultures and bloody annoying it must be. Pronouns aren't something that belong to me in the same way. They are functional class words that do a straightforward job in a sentence to refer to a mutually known person. It's not personal.

OP posts:
PermanentTemporary · 02/02/2022 12:46

Ooh personal pronouns aren't personal... perhaps I should rethink that Grin

OP posts:
Alonelonelylonersbadidea · 02/02/2022 16:48

@AgeOfReason99 thank you for posting that video. I just watched it all.

It's desperately sad and anger-inducing.
All those girls and young women destroying their bodies due to what is mental ill health and should be treated as such. There will be so many suicides in the next decade by those who were children when they destroyed their bodies' functions and looks for a lifetime of pain, infertility, sexual dysfunction and loneliness. Because that's the grim truth of it. Most don't come back from it.
I just don't know what the answer is, but as a mother of a lesbian autistic teen daughter, it frightens me.

Coyoacan · 02/02/2022 16:56

I left Ireland 23 years ago and only have a handful of friends from that time. Out of those friends, two have daughters who are transitioning and one has a neice who is transitioning. My heart breaks for them

Flingobaps · 02/02/2022 17:52

@Guacamoleontoast

You have to ask yourself how many of these transitioning teens would be doing it if social media didn't exist.
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Flingobaps · 02/02/2022 17:54

@jytdtysrht

They have clubs for LGBTQ+, Pride etc at my teens' school. I am perfectly happy for anyone to be whoever they want to be.

However I do think it's becoming a problem to just be fine with the sex you were born and straight. Virtually none of the girls at my dd's school are fine with their sex and straight - it's boring and even can be viewed as phobic of any other categories. They all have a variety of labels for themselves. Whilst it is forwards progress for those who are gay, trans etc, it's actually backwards progress for those who aren't and feel that they perhaps ought to be one of these things. It's almost shameful to be straight and happy with your sex now.

I think this is why so many become "non-binary". It's the cheap way to "trans".

You don't have to do anything. You don't have to change who you're attracted to.

It's the new "bi".

In the 1990s lots of girls pretended to be "bi" because it was cool but they didn't have to do anything and could keep their boyfriends.

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