Does anyone else feel that the tone has changed on this board?

[ViceLikeBlip]

This board has been incredibly important to me, especially when I felt like I was losing my mind because no one else seemed to see a problem with self ID, and everyone else seemed to believe TWAW (or, I now realise, everyone else was too scared to suggest they might not believe TWAW).

You guys helped me rationalise my thoughts, and realise I wasn't some awful transphobe, and I've been really grateful to be part of this community. And I really felt like I belonged: we were pro women's rights, not anti trans rights, and we didn't believe that all transwomen are dangerous perverts but rather we recognised that dangerous perverts do exist, and they will readily take advtange of any loophole that gives them access to women.

More than anything, you guys have been an absolute mine of information - facts, stats, latest developments, and you've pointed me in the direction of news articles and twitter rows that I never would have seen otherwise. I'm genuinely grateful for this.

But recently the mood seems to have shifted significantly. There seems to be a lot of open animosity and ridicule towards all things trans. The recent outcry about M&S letting some people put their pronouns on their name badges felt uncomfortably close to clamouring to have M&S "cancelled".

I guess I used to feel like this was a safe space where I was with like minded people, but now I don't think everyone on here can hand-on-heart maintain that they're not anti-trans anymore, and it makes me very upset to see this shift happening (and happening quickly).

[quote julieca]@vivariumvivariumsvivaria that simply isnt true. If you are straight you know you need a cervical smear.[/quote]
Unless this information is digitally uploaded into women's heads upon having their first crush on a male personage, it's not true.

[quote julieca]@vivariumvivariumsvivaria that simply isnt true. If you are straight you know you need a cervical smear.[/quote]
Really? Why then is take up so low? Why then is it reported that a large percentage of women do not know what a cervix is nor that they have one and therefore need cervical smear tests? This was all brought to light by the damaging insistence on using the term people with a cervix to assuage the gender lobby in information campaigns about smear tests, did that pass you by?

Your statement is a load of hogwash.

@foxgoosefinch

So come on, do tell us, have you been a lesbian long? Have you been doing yoga long? Have you been eating chocolate long? Have you been mumsnetting in the bath while drinking too much wine for long? Have you been enjoying romantic dog walks along beaches at dusk long? Have you been having your head against a brick wall long? And did it take you long to learn to lesbian correctly?

@julieca and what about you? Are you a lesbian or bisexual or straight? And for how long? And which catalog did you pick your sexuality out of? And would you recommend it? Did it take you long to master it?

Am thinking of learning a new skill and thought I’d ask other women their recommendations.

(Sarcasm disclaimer before thread police get me more deletions)

Most women know they need cervical smears. Some lesbians think they don't because they are a lesbian.
Knowing what your cervix is is different to knowing you need a smear.

And take-up is low with smears for other reasons as well, not least past sexual violence and that they can bloody hurt.

But you see this is what I meant when I agreed some of you chase people away. I have been very polite, and I get ridiculed by some in return.

[quote julieca]@BloodinGutters why bingo?[/quote]
Because we are playing bingo.

Hadn’t you noticed.

It was posted up thread that the one left was lesbians are violent/scary/bullies too.

You just won me mh bingo.

To other posters on the thread: how do I go about claiming my MN bingo prize??

*mn bingo

None of what I am saying is unusual. Just little is done about it.

www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-39230807#:~:text=Women%20who%20have%20sex%20with,a%20smear%20test%2C%20they%20said.

www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/uk-57604411

www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3288601/

www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=&ved=2ahUKEwjpn-Kwno70AhUxgv0HHbKJCCAQFnoECA8QAQ&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.ageuk.org.uk%2Fglobalassets%2Fage-uk%2Fdocuments%2Fbooklets%2Fsafe_to_be_me.pdf&usg=AOvVaw2pZooPywc_h19JbpNH90Hy

@BloodinGutters yeah I had missed that. Okay I get the message loud and clear and will fuck off. You have made it clear you want me gone.

I fear that in today, in a hostel pitched at LGBT, as if it were a monolith, a young lesbian would be more likely to be subjected to lesbophobic bullying, and would be less likely to have staff and key workers who knew how to address the issues of consent, abusive relationships and boundaries with her and anyone bullying her.

Yes, exactly. The more letters in the acronym, the less likely it is to actually be for lesbians.

@julieca

But you see this is what I meant when I agreed some of you chase people away. I have been very polite, and I get ridiculed by some in return.

Ah yes, our flippant humour is using its little legs to chase posters away

You’ll find snarky sarcasm is pretty standard with MN on all boards. It can also be very useful component of political satire, which plays a useful role in free democracy’s. It helps develop critical thinkings skills. Or at least it should.

Have you applied critical thinking to your very very impolite and ignorant as fuck question to @foxgoosefinch yet? No? Maybe you should try.

[quote julieca]@BloodinGutters yeah I had missed that. Okay I get the message loud and clear and will fuck off. You have made it clear you want me gone.[/quote]
Actually I’d really like it if you reflect on why the fuck you think it’s at all appropriate to ask someone if they’ve been a lesbian long.

The homophobia in that question is repugnant. But I’d rather you think about that than flounce.

@julieca

Most women know they need cervical smears. Some lesbians think they don't because they are a lesbian. Knowing what your cervix is is different to knowing you need a smear.

You said straight women know they need a cervical smear, now you are shifting to most women know they need cervical smears, most women would include lesbians, yes?

Some straight women, for a variety of reasons don't know they need smear tests, therefore your first statement was indeed hogwash.

No it is not homophobic. I have linked to all the facts I stated. Yes I am surprised a politically aware lesbian in her forties knew none of that.
Unless you think it is homophobic because you believe in a born that way view of sexuality. I don't.

I like to play MN Bingo against myself. If I win, I issue myself with a chocolate bar .

@PurgatoryOfPotholes

I like to play MN Bingo against myself. If I win, I issue myself with a chocolate bar .

I do that too.

I’ve just never won before.

There’s a first for everything (except picking a new sexuality).

I have between 5 &10 curly wurlys in the house so I guess i’ll be getting my daily dosage.

Will have to send dh out for wine for bath time. To sooth my wall-banged headache.

If you are straight you know you need a cervical smear.
As more than half of women according to Cervical Cancer charities don't know what a cervix is , I find this assertion highly unlikely.

* it leads to the lack of challenge of frankly anti-lesbian and gay stuff I have seen. *

If you are talking about Mumsnet , given its policies I find this unbelievable. However, if you are talking about trans rights activists, the recent rape apology type posts on Twitter are absolutely abhorrent
.
There are lots of conservative Christians who don't think you can change sex. I don't see them as my ally.
Well if your definition of an ally is someone who thinks you can change sex, then you are doomed to a lonely existence as nobody believes you can do the impossible.

How many times have I had to say that I don't believe you can change sex?
You think anyone disagreeing with you is automatically "on the other side".

Julieca lesbian women are women and therefore at as much risk of sexual assault by men as any other sub group of women.

Even nuns are at risk of cervical cancer because of sexual assault, you absolute balloon.

www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-47134033

@julieca

No it is not homophobic. I have linked to all the facts I stated. Yes I am surprised a politically aware lesbian in her forties knew none of that. Unless you think it is homophobic because you believe in a born that way view of sexuality. I don't.

At the risk of being a misandrist, I think the existence of heterosexual women suggests sexuality is innate.

Good to hear you don't believe you can change sex but a bit perplexed by this statement of yours. Could you explain further?

Unless you think it is homophobic because you believe in a born that way view of sexuality. I don't.

[quote julieca]@vivariumvivariumsvivaria that simply isnt true. If you are straight you know you need a cervical smear.[/quote]
I've just let my OH know, he wasn't aware. Thanks for this vital piece of information. He'll get onto the doctors in the morning.

I am not going to discuss this any further. Life is too short to subject myself to continued ridicule. But if you think sexuality is innate, read some of Julie Bindel and Sheila Jeffries around this.

You're not discussing it now, never mind "any further".

You are being pulled up on the indefensible nonsense that you posted and are now flouncing. It's the traditional response, I guess.