Please don't use the greeting "Hi ladies"

[MareofBeasttown]

I am a member of a women's social group which is friendly and inclusive. Non-binary people are also allowed to join and this is mentioned on the website. A member is now suggesting that the word 'women' in the group's name should be taken out and it be changed to "women and enby". She is also arguing that greetings like "Hi Ladies" should not be used. Instead, she suggests" Hi Ladies and Enbies". What do people think?

@Aquamarine1029

I'd be rolling my eyes and carrying on per usual. This person can go find a new group.

This^. If they're so triggered by the use of the word "ladies" then this group probably isn't for them

Or, just possibly "hello"

Alright you bunch of cunts!

"Hello everyone"

Job done.
Ignore the other bit.

@WomaninBoots

Alright you bunch of cunts!

🤣

Lancet approved terminology

My response to this is that for some women, being referred to as 'a lady' or collectively as 'ladies' is a mark of respect that they may not often get. 'Women' as a generic is fine, of course (this is a women's choir/car repair course/hairdressers)- but when the women are actually there, I think many appreciate ladies as more polite - 'have any of you ladies finished yet?' 'Stacy, please can you help this lady choose a power drill?'
I think most women, especially older women would find woman/women in those examples impolite.

Yes, this. Thank you, StillWeRise.

Are they seriously suggesting that they are going to start policing fucking greetings now?

Let the author decide their words, you can scroll past if you don't like what they say - just like you normally do for any other content.

@StillWeRise

I’m not sure whether I like to think myself as an ‘older person’, but I’m not offended but the use of ladies at all.

To be offended by the phrase ‘lady’ is another memo that seems to have passed me by.

How is the word women taken out when you've literally just said it's still there?!
Women and enbies. I'm still there, it still says women as well.

If talking to people on facebook why do you need any sort of greeting? I just post stuff like I do here. The nonbinaries are the new special group. Pretending you can become something different just by saying so is essential for the magic to work. I agree that if your identity as NB is that important to you then why join a group for women? The only women's FB groups I am in are GC, otherwise I don't see the point. Just say it's a mixed sex group

I didn't realise that ladies was classist, for instance.

Someone is gaslighting you, OP. There’s nothing classist about the word ‘ladies’, it’s just an old-fashioned formal greeting, as in “ladies and gentlemen”, now more often used light-heartedly. Are people really complaining about how they’re addressed? Or is this more about people joining a women’s group in order to police it?

Yo, bodies with vaginas!

I didn't realise that ladies was classist, for instance.

It really isn't. It's just a bit twee and old-fashioned. It's been a very long time since 'ladies' actually meant female members of the gentry.

I'm in a what's up group full of women with a shared interest, every morning when we wake up we text " morning ladies" or a similar greeting.I wouldn't think of telling them how to say hello.

What happens if you are non binary and you go for a pee? Must be so triggering.

[quote Standrewsschool]@StillWeRise

I’m not sure whether I like to think myself as an ‘older person’, but I’m not offended but the use of ladies at all.

To be offended by the phrase ‘lady’ is another memo that seems to have passed me by.[/quote]
no, I don't 'identify' as an older person either but others might disagree
age actually IS a spectrum

"I think the decision will be up to the group leader, who is a young, sweet woman and I think keen on inclusivity, so she may change it."

This is the problem these days. It's the idea that young people with sweet hearts want to be inclusive because trans people are vulnerable and need empathy but they fail to think through complex sex and gender and feminist issues involved to see that while inclusivity is desirable in many circumstances sometimes there is a cost. It seems to me that cis-gendered women are paying the price for a lot of well-intentioned but misguided inclusivity policies. Women are so vulnerable and exploited worldwide on so many levels and this is inextricably linked to their sex and they need to be able to name themselves and be amongst themselves. But now I've said that I suppose I must be old (hence outdated) and can not be described as "sweet" which is what matters.

I really like “lady” and I’m as feminist as they come. I like woman too, but lady has a ring to it, sometimes it’s a bit ironic, sometimes it’s polite, and sometimes a better choice than woman.

One of the (many) issues I find with all the puritanical policing is the loss of nuance and wit in so many situations. I do think people running groups etc need to be respectful and inclusive on a general level, but stamping out any phrase that might make some random person with a special self-appointed identity not feel prioritised, just ruins the ability to communicate properly.

If someone feels left out why can’t they just say so with good humour? If I was the only woman in an all male group and they were addressed “lads” or something, I’d either go along with it or speak up and say “hey lady over here” or whatever.

Also not classist at all. Ok it can be an aristocratic title, but plenty of non-posh people including women will say “hello ladies” and “old lady” applies to any older woman.

@WarriorN

"Hello everyone"

Job done.
Ignore the other bit.

I say this in my public transport job.

Stacy, please can you help this lady choose a power drill?'

"Stacy, please can you help this customer choose a power drill?"

I’m not sure how helpful this is, but it made me laugh.

Oh my god - can you imagine the complaints! I must start using these on our team meetings!

@KittenKong I’m literally chomping at the bit to crowbar “what’s up, rat bastards?” in somewhere 🤣