Can someone please explain this to me?

[Becca19962014]

Please don't flame me. I'm in a really bad place, mentally and physically, a huge amount to deal with and zero medical support.

I was directed to email someone at the council for urgent help which I did, and it went though (sometimes they don't). I began my email with "Dear Ms" as it was a woman and always address emails as such, like letters, and on the council website it says she's Ms firstname second name.

Anyway, I've had a long email back about discrimination, how i need to educate myself about pronouns online and how to address people properly in writing. They drew my attention to their signature which says gender pronoun her/she and directed me to council policy about gender discrimination.

Zero advice on my urgent situation

I dont understand. Do I now just put "hi" in any professional emails so I don't get in trouble? Why aren't they answering my urgent question?? Was I rude? How am I supposed to know how to address people properly and why am I being accused of discrimination?!

You’re not worthless and you’re not scum

Who rang? Who is coming?

You are a human being and deserve respect and assistance when you need it, Becca.

Just posting to say we are here for you.

Someone online rang, they work for a charity or said they did. Landlord agent coming to remove stuff forcibly if I refuse. The person who rang said they spoke to a lovely woman who was really caring and wants to help - and was the person who hurled abuse at me whilst having a panic attack on phone as I struggle with them so much.

They're not in the office, no one is here as "it's too dangerous due to covid" which is fine, except I'm expected to have these people in my bedroom with no ventilation and no social distancing for hours each day whilst they go through my stuff.

Can't be stopped. It's the law. Which protects everyone else. Rspect is for people who deserve it. Not me, literally those words were used to describe in me in the last week. Repeatedly.

Same as it has my entire life.

• go through and bin my stuff

Sorry.

Have you got anyone at all who can advocate for you?

Becca, nobody should be saying anything like that to you, of course you are worthy of respect.

I agree with previous poster, it would be helpful if you could find someone to advocate for you.

Just so I understand, was the woman who was caring and wanted to help the one who was hurling abuse? Or are these two different people? Do you know who the lovely woman was, can you contact her?

Becca, I'm so sorry to read all this. I have no advice but wanted to say you are non of those things you describe yourself as. Please don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

@ArabellaScott

Becca, nobody should be saying anything like that to you, of course you are worthy of respect.

I agree with previous poster, it would be helpful if you could find someone to advocate for you.

Just so I understand, was the woman who was caring and wanted to help the one who was hurling abuse? Or are these two different people? Do you know who the lovely woman was, can you contact her?

Advocacy no use. I'm hoarder. They just side with them - everywhere I contacted told me the landlord is the one with the rights because of it.

Not me.

The woman always lies she cares to others; she works for landlord, and was the person who told me to shut the fuck up and everyone was going to die and it was all my fault for being disgusting etc.

Why is advocacy no use?

I have advocated for people in all kinds of crappy situations in the past.

Someone who works for your landlord can't really work as an advocate for you.

All can say re advocacy was said as hoarder I'm a danger to others so agent/landlord right and have right of access. I don't.

The woman who said she would help and cared (to person who rang them and works there) is also his partner and mother to four of his kids; there's no way she told the person who rang the truth as that's not what she told me and he wouldn't allow it.

I don't know if anyone is still watching this thread or not but in case you are:

Housing situation update. They turned up unaccounted with fire brigade. They're now legally obliged to get rid of my stuff and I am terrified and in bits. They do not understand at all how terrifying it is. In the end I just agreed to anything they said to get rid of them. But I can't cope at all. I've already had a stress induced seizure. They spoke to social services and they don't want to know.

I'm so terrified. I can't have men, anyone in here. I just can't and I can't face getting rid of anything. Everything feels so unsafe and a mess.

And I can't cope at all.

*unannounced

Oh Becca.

Can you get anyone at all to advocate for you? I really feel for you. I’m sorry.

I will try come back to this later, as in a rush, but have you tried contacting Hoarding UK for help/support/advocacy? Looks like they can act remotely re advocacy and preventing blitz cleaning etc. Apologies if you've already approached them.

I'm sorry this is happening to you.

hoardinguk.org/support/services/

hoardinguk.org/support/support-advocacy/

Theres no advocacy now fire brigade are involved. No options at all now. Been trying hoarding uk for weeks. Can't get through and email ignored.

Terrified.

Do people not even know what PTSD is? That this is a huge problem and there's zero support. I'm so hurt that social services told them no help yet are lying to everyone else there is.

I'm definitely going to be thrown out it was a condition of staying that I continued to be seen by them.

Terrified and in a state too.

I have no advice, I'm so sorry. I just don't want you to be on your own right now so please know you're heard and not entirely alone

Becca, I'm so sorry to hear what a terrible time you're having. It sounds very frightening. We are here to listen and help if we can.

I don't know what to say to you.
I'm so ashamed

You have nothing to be ashamed of. It sounds like you've been horribly and repeatedly let down.

Just to update this.

I got a reply to my complaint, it wasn’t upheld, due to other things going severely wrong I rang to ask why. Eventually she agreed what had happened was wrong. This person should have been HELPING me not going on about her pronouns etc. Bluntly I don’t really care. I’m polite in emails, always addressing them properly so see no reason for the person to bring it up at all.

My mental health is collapsing and by that I mean I’m sitting in shops on the floor sobbing, it’s really bad, the fire brigade rang the police because so worried and I got threatened with being sectioned, my gp practice are deregistering me because I can’t get three and they can’t come here. They said they must visit by 27/10 or no gp or meds anymore (I’m diabetic on high doses of pain relief). Crisis team blamed me for not going, or having gp exam (which I was told would be forced on me, I’ve ptsd and found that terrifying), the crisis social worker also told me I’ll be evicted over hoarding and must accept its my fault and need to sort it as the firebrigade can and will get me put back on streets to save others, I won’t survive that AND, worse, my hoarding is even worse now. They said if the fire brigade bother them again they’ll say I refuse to engage or put in effort.

Why does no one understand

Anyway, I wanted to update you so you’re aware.

At least the manager relented and agreed her employee would not being doing what she did to me again when people ask for help! So that’s something.

I’ve exhausted all options for everything else though

Oh and PTSD isn’t a recognised mental health issue either. Nor is my physical disability recognised either anymore.

Oh my lovely, Ive just read this whole thing. Im sorry I don't have any useful advice but I hope you are ok this morning.

Would being sectioned be at least a step towards actual help?

It’s hours to nearest ward from where I live. I can’t even travel two minutes down the road. The crisis team ignored police urgent request for help but didn’t tell the police that . The fire brigade are the only ones unrelenting trying but that’s just pissing everyone off and they’re having a go at me.

Last time I was on a ward I was assaulted, and told to stay in my room unless I wanted to be abused so no food, water or meds. He got to roam around, even coming into my room as staff refused to let the door be kept locked. They did nothing to him. Which made it worse.