Can someone please explain this to me?

[Becca19962014]

Please don't flame me. I'm in a really bad place, mentally and physically, a huge amount to deal with and zero medical support.

I was directed to email someone at the council for urgent help which I did, and it went though (sometimes they don't). I began my email with "Dear Ms" as it was a woman and always address emails as such, like letters, and on the council website it says she's Ms firstname second name.

Anyway, I've had a long email back about discrimination, how i need to educate myself about pronouns online and how to address people properly in writing. They drew my attention to their signature which says gender pronoun her/she and directed me to council policy about gender discrimination.

Zero advice on my urgent situation

I dont understand. Do I now just put "hi" in any professional emails so I don't get in trouble? Why aren't they answering my urgent question?? Was I rude? How am I supposed to know how to address people properly and why am I being accused of discrimination?!

It sounds like you really need emergency help, OP. It might be worth contacting social services?

@ShamedBySiri

Long shot OP but do you have any home insurance with legal cover? They have 24/7 helplines and will give some really good advice even if you don't have a case they would cover.

If this is a private landlord there's various rules around eviction/bailiffs but you need advice and time is short. Shelter do have an emergency number, I would try that again and citizens advice plus try someone else at the council - they must have some emergency provision.

If the landlord doesn't have an order for possession the OP can't be evicted. It's not clear what the situation is. If the notice period on a notice to quit served by the landlord has expired if a tenant sits tight a landlord cannot evict a tenant unless they apply to a court and obtain an order for eviction.

The order must then be served. If the tenant does not move out after the expiry of the period in the eviction notice the landlord must ask the court for a warrant for possession to allow bailiffs to carry out the eviction.

Massively puzzled. If her pronouns are she/her then Ms is correct? And she uses Ms herself in her signature? I would make a formal complaint about this and pursue it heavily, because I would have a bee in my bonnet about her irrational behaviour.

I'm confused as to why they've referred you to the council policy on pronouns... You don't work for the council so it doesn't apply to you, surely that policy is for employees addressing each other.

Her attitude is astounding. People get names wrong on email all the time, I've been called Sarah, Lauren, Lorraine in email, none of which are my name. I've just accepted it as a genuine mistake but still replied to the sodding query in the email!

I work in a STEM environment and regularly get emails addressed to Mr/Sir (sometimes I'm upgraded to Prof). I just answer the query, like I'm paid to.

OP is there a church near you that you could approach for help ie the loan of an up-to-date laptop for a couple of hours? You don't need to be religious (I'm not) but I know a lot of parish groups can be very pro-active, practical and supportive to those in need.

I'm osrry you've got this on top of what you're dealing with @Becca19962014.

It is outrageous to me that someone can read an email from someone in a dire situation re their housing and their first response is to attack you about using a perfectly standard form of addressing someone.

I hope you get the help you need. Try and put this out of your head while you deal with your immediate situation and maybe if you feel up to it, respnd at a later date.

To answer some questions:

I've complained and forwarded the email I got. I got an out of office for their manager so I know they've got it. Pointing out they're the emergency housing officer and I need emergency housing advice. I've not apologised. I genuinely do not see the need anymore.

Crisis don't cover where I live. I was referred to the council officer by the rural CAB service in Wales, as that's the person who helps. Most of our council workers are working from home but are doing so on reduced hours.

As everywhere is closed again here as of today (massive increase in cases and local hospital closed due to covid admissions) there's nowhere I can go to get help in person. I struggle massively with phones and am so distressed I can't explain properly. My needs are very complex.

I tried social services but told I needed a referral first.

To give more detail in case anyone can help and you've been so nice to me, the reason they're coming in is hoarding problem that they claim to have only just found out about. In reality I've discussed it many times, I've had zero help and support since March 2020. All my health issues have got much worse. My bin got stolen so getting rid of waste is nearly impossible and my council only collect waste once a month now. So they've said I'm such a risk to everyone else I've forfeited any rights. They've a master key and will and can force entry.

I rang "homelessness prevention officer" and got told they couldn't help as its my fault.

I can't bear a thread with the above in it and to get abuse for it. I'm hoping no one here will abuse me for it and it won't come to most people's attention as its buried in a thread, albeit my thread.

Thankyou all once again.

Apologies if I've missed anyone's question. Need to try and get meds now. Back later hopefully!

I know some councils have hoarding policies and assessments - does your OP?

Also, if you have children there may be separate duties to them which the council needs to consider.

OP, if your landlord hasn't gone through the necessary legal steps to evict you, I would very strongly recommend you contact the police if they try to forcibly get you out today. I was a landlord and tenant lawyer for nearly 20 years, btw, the procedural steps are clear for eviction as pp have mentioned.

If you leave the property "voluntarily" the council will not help to rehouse you. They will help you if you have been served with an Order for Possession sealed by the court following a judge's adjudication that the landlord has followed the correct steps (serving notice on you, then making a claim of possession in court if you have not left following the notice). Even if the landlord harasses you out of the property, the council, in my experience of councils, will treat you as having voluntarily left the property, and will not help to rehouse you.

And no, you did nothing wrong in the way you contacted the council worker, and when you are safe, please complain, as she is clearly failing to do her job, and making a false claim of discrimination.

Here you go, OP, from the YouGov website about harassment and illegal eviction:

www.gov.uk/evicting-tenants/harassment-and-illegal-evictions

Please report this person!

You contacted them for urgent help, and this person gaslit you. Calling her Ms and she’s a woman .. and she went mad! Definitely report this today because I’m sure you’re not the only person she has done this too.

People are contacting the council for urgent help and instead of doing her job she’s virtue signaling to make herself feel better? This is nonsense and this person should be fired. They have no business working with the public in any capacity.

My councils idea of helping with the H issue was to send two social worker students with black bin liners who removed every item from my room. Left literally nothing at all. Needed to buy everything new. That's what they've done with anyone with such issues. There's nothing else in terms of help here. I know someone who died due to their stuff falling on them - mine is nowhere near that bad, and, council said they'd refused to engage, I know like me they sent students round to chuck everything every six months and then she refused access and simply blocked herself in for years.

I don't even have a birth certificate or passport anymore, and can't replace them as I found out last week my mum isn't my mum nor is my dad my dad.

No children allowed in building.

Very overwhelmed right now and desperate hence putting details I never meant to on here.

Got to go get meds and food now. I'll be back later.
Thank you.

Please contact social services. Also can you contact your MH provider so that they can also contact on your behalf?

I’m sure you can self refer to social services (I did it a couple of years ago).

It sounds like you're in a housing facility of multiple occupancy OP?
I've no idea what the laws/rules surrounding that are. Maybe @TedImgoingmad can advise.

But I would reiterate MarshmallowSwede
You need mental health/social services input.

Are you in private rented housing, OP? Are you a tenant/have a tenancy agreement? Of are you housed by the council or some other authority?

@MarshmallowSwede

Please report this person!

You contacted them for urgent help, and this person gaslit you. Calling her Ms and she’s a woman .. and she went mad! Definitely report this today because I’m sure you’re not the only person she has done this too.

People are contacting the council for urgent help and instead of doing her job she’s virtue signaling to make herself feel better? This is nonsense and this person should be fired. They have no business working with the public in any capacity.

^^ this 100%

Please complain. You did nothing wrong but this person should NOT be interacting with vulnerable people because clearly they’re unhinged and have zero empathy for others.

I hope you get the help you need OP.
You’ve gotten some good advice on here.

I don't even have a birth certificate or passport anymore, and can't replace them as I found out last week my mum isn't my mum nor is my dad my dad

OP, everyone in the UK has a birth certificate and always has. If a person is adopted an adoption certificate is issued which replaces the original birth certificate.

If you have lost your birth certificate you can get a copy. The details might not be accurate but the birth certificate remains a document which proves you exist.

Becca, I'm so sorry. What a lot going on all at once.

I understand you don't wish to get into details here, that is very sensible and understandable. But it sounds like you really need urgent assistance, here.

At a pinch, would the police be able to sign post you to who might help? Your doctor or medical practise? From whom did Social Services say you need a referral?

I wasn't officially adopted. I've no idea what went on. I was told that my "parents" didn't want me so I was given to grandparents. But it turns out my "parents" don't actually exist on birth certificate so can't get a copy. It was the 70s. No idea who to contact. To get a birth certificate you must know the details of your family. I do not.

Shelter have finally emailed to say that I can refuse access BUT the landlord can then evict me for doing so. Despite the landlord working at home to protect them from covid apparently I'm not allowed the same protection.

Mental health team discharged me years ago and social services won't help me because, they're already helping him and as his illness is worse than mine they're prioritising his needs and I've had a lecture about why I don't just throw everything away.

Can you ring the council today? And social services?

It's private rented, building with flats, so self contained but still just a room if that makes sense. Probably doesn't.

Social services I was under said I needed a referral as I've not been seen in last twelve months (they discharged me for not attending even though again their building is closed so no appointments allowed).

Everyone's just taking the bloody piss.

I'm to email shelter Monday if there's a problem, how am I supposed to do that without access to anything? I can't carry this device with me it's too heavy. I can contact homeless team when homeless but need a cpn letter to access emergency accommodation and can't get one as no cpn.

When did things become so bloody complicated.

I'm devasted that social services are supporting him in this. I've literally nowhere else to go. He's working from home due to covid risk for crying out loud. But the fact is the government have removed all covid restrictions with regard to access so it's just tough.

GP practice have a written to let me know that they cannot help, they're probably helping him as well, and I need to just throw things away.

Why can no one actually understand I've no help for eighteen months, serious physical and mental health issues (though apparently only when it suits others). Nowhere to go. No money to get the help I desperately need privately. Not allowed a cleaner due to covid risk. It's not like I haven't tried!!. Whereas this man has hundreds of properties, businesses throughout Wales, and Midlands yet he's getting help from multiple agencies, for free, who can't be seen to be helping me too. Why aren't they just telling him to pay for a lawyer or something? Why's he allowed access to free support which then denies me access?

It's so unfair.

I'm sorry for venting. It's gone three now so no access to any help whatsoever. And I'm letting my frustrations out here because I am utterly terrified and it's triggering all kinds of problems for me, from seizures to hallucinations again.

Never mind though at least their helping him

@Suitcaseseverywhere not now. They close at 3pm Friday's (I have tried).