Can someone please explain this to me?

[Becca19962014]

Please don't flame me. I'm in a really bad place, mentally and physically, a huge amount to deal with and zero medical support.

I was directed to email someone at the council for urgent help which I did, and it went though (sometimes they don't). I began my email with "Dear Ms" as it was a woman and always address emails as such, like letters, and on the council website it says she's Ms firstname second name.

Anyway, I've had a long email back about discrimination, how i need to educate myself about pronouns online and how to address people properly in writing. They drew my attention to their signature which says gender pronoun her/she and directed me to council policy about gender discrimination.

Zero advice on my urgent situation

I dont understand. Do I now just put "hi" in any professional emails so I don't get in trouble? Why aren't they answering my urgent question?? Was I rude? How am I supposed to know how to address people properly and why am I being accused of discrimination?!

I wasn't officially adopted. I've no idea what went on. I was told that my "parents" didn't want me so I was given to grandparents. But it turns out my "parents" don't actually exist on birth certificate so can't get a copy. It was the 70s. No idea who to contact. To get a birth certificate you must know the details of your family. I do not

To get a copy of your birth certificate you only need to know your name and your date of birth. If you had a birth certificate (and you said you had one and a passport) you can get a copy.

What sort of tenancy do you have? When did you take the tenancy/move in? I'm wondering is there any chance you have an Assured Tenancy (as opposed to an assured shorthold tenancy)? If you have an Assured, that's a lot more protection!

Was he always your landlord or did he "inherit" you? Even the tightest of landlords will fork out the relatively small amount of money to get rid of an assured shorthold tenant if they want to - it takes time, but if they are as determined as your landlord sounds, they will do it, and they can get the property back as of right. I wonder if they can't because you have the added protection of an assured tenancy, hence the harassment route - it's very hard to evict an assured tenant.

@ArabellaScott

Thanks, Ted, I'm glad someone qualified is here!

No disrespect to Ted but the legal position has already been explained.

When I applied for birth certificate I was told I must do it online and needed mothers maiden name which I obvioulsy got wrong! I've never been allowed my full birth certificate just the short version without the details! Know why now!!

I don't know the sort of tenancy. It became rolling when social services refused to sign to say they'd support me; I've had some police involvement over the years when in crisis so it became rolling. I didn't want that but had no choice.

My original landlord wasn't him and when he bought the place all he went on about was wanting me out.

Also he's never taken care of the building that's always been down to me. When the roof collapsed he did nothing - literally told the tenant to let me know and get me to sort it, was me chasing their handyman who refused to come out because it was a Friday. When the door jammed i was the one to pay for a locksmith (Christmas, we don't do working Christmas). Garden so much of a jungle we've had adders living in it. The front is covered, including over windows in ivy. My point is I've done all I can to maintain the building. But I've life long hoarding problems worsened by lockdown issues, my bin being stolen and council missing collections - it's not an excuse but I know tackling this alone will lead to an even worse mental health crisis which I'm already spiralling into right now.

They've had, since I moved in over £80,000 from me; I know that's how rent works and understand that but I know I'm not on their books as I've gone to pay rent in office, not had a reciept and the person there when they looked up my flat found it had been vacant for many years.

It's all very very odd.

And if I question anything they just mock me for being "crazy and not understanding what is and isn't real" - that's true I struggle with reality so record phone calls as proof (so the conversation where I was told what was happening Monday is recorded).

Do you remember when you moved in, Becca? Year and month if possible? This could be really important. You may have more protection than you think, and if there's no paperwork in the possession of the landlord saying you are an assured shorthold tenant (less protection), this could explain why he's behaving in this way. Having a rolling tenancy would not stop it being as assured tenancy, that's a very common thing to happen after the first fixed term has expired.

August 2021. I remember exactly as had been on street before and you don't forget something that.

Bloody hell! AUGUST 2001

Sorry!!

Thanks for the explanation Becca, I don't know what to say that's just terrible.

Right, ok, you're not going to have an assured tenancy then, got slightly excited when you said you'd been there over 20 years. The cut off for ATs was in 1997.

Sit tight. Don't voluntarily move out, and don't go along with being kicked out by taking your stuff away or anything like that. Call the police if he harasses you at all or tries to lock you out. You are absolutely allowed to change your locks. Your mental health team are not the law (they are not there to adjudicate landlord and tenant issues) and changing locks does not "damage property". Keep ringing for help, and tell them he is trying to evict you without a court order and harassing you - they may not fully comprehend that this is what he is doing. If he wants you out, he needs to follow the procedure. Just keep reminding yourself of that. I'm sorry you are going through this.

Is it worth contacting your MP? That's the only advice I can offer, I'm sorry.

When I applied for birth certificate I was told I must do it online and needed mothers maiden name which I obvioulsy got wrong! I've never been allowed my full birth certificate just the short version without the details! Know why now

You do not need to know your parents details to apply online for a birth certificate. The only mandatory information is your year of birth, surname at birth , forenames, place of birth and date of birth. If you don't know the exact date the search facility will search from say 1/1/69 to 31/12/71.

Frankly she sounds mentally unwell. How can you address someone by their pronoun? Dear she. No. Dear Her . Nah . You must get onto a councillor and if possible her line manager or superior. Sounds like she just want an excuse to not deal with your situation.

Thanks for the replies.

@RedDogsBeg I've done that. All the office could offer was advice to ring shelter but said they'd let him know. He's good at his job, unlike some.

@Abhannmor I have reported her. I got an out of office as a reply but at least her manager has been informed and I've stored the original email too in case it gets "lost" (I've had staff recover emails before from my account!)

What were you supposed to write? Dear She? Dear Her? I can't see what is wrong here. You used Dear Ms( Arsehole) which in my view is correct. And ANYWAY, that's not even the issue. You havent had a response to your query cos she was too busy telling you off for what I dont know. How bloody rude and frustrating and I would definitely raise it as a complaint. I hope you get your housing situation resolved soon. Good luck.

Honestly I don't know. It's VERY odd.

It's been raised as a complaint!

Posting to say I had to order my grandparents' birth certificates online (long story, not relevant here) from the General Register Office. I had very little information, as you can imagine.

If you put in as much information as you can and can pay the £3 extra for a manual search, they will find it. If you just put in the information from your short-form certificate, then you've supplied far more detail than I could about my late grandparents!

@PurgatoryOfPotholes thanks.

How did you get on today @Becca19962014

Got some help. They rang to get it postponed and then emailed me to engage myself and that landlord has the right to come in "to help" and they "care".

I'm a fool. I even stupidly told the of other things I go through to try and get them to understand, but they just fell for landlords shit making it even fucking harder.

I can't manage this on my own and that's all the help, bar abuse, I have. Filthy dirty worthless me.

NHS saying its a mental health problem doesn't matter.
Covid doesn't matter.

They're coming in to chuck everything to save everyone from being killed by me. That's all that matters is me burning down the building murdering everyone else. Which every single place I contacted is in agreement with.

Landlord did nothing when I was trapped for months by fucking pushchairs; no gardening for years, literally, massive ivy plant over half the building. Other tenants bullying and threatening me because my mental health is so bad. No that's all fine. But this is me and I'm disgusting and worthless and stupid. Not even good enough for end of life care because too ill and disgusting.

I've no hope at all and its devastating trying to cope alone without any help at all not even a fucking GP. Nothing. Terrfied and in an utter state because I stupidly trusted this person.

Every day now I'm going to be terrified of them coming in and coming back to everything in bin bags like last time.

But it's me.

So it really doesn't matter does it?

I knew, knew it would be like this, I did an Internet search as well as on here and it's always like this. No one understands. We're all just filthy and dirty and worthless scum who want to start fires murdering everyone.

@Becca19962014
I couldn't read and run after your last post, though I have no practical help to offer, sorry.
You are not worthless.
You are not scum.
You have rights.
If your landlord tries to put you out, call the police.
I hope things get better soon.

You are not scum! And I wish I could shake all the people who are making you feel that way

I shouldn't have told.
I told NHSdirect it was hopeless