What does she/they actually mean?

[bocodilloconqueso]

I noticed that a colleague has put She/they as her (their?) pronouns. I need help to understand this please?
I barely know them so don't feel comfortable asking. Particularly as there are always other people around.
Can anyone enlighten me?

It means whatever the fool decides it means. “Special” would be my guess.

See, that’s what I would do if forced to put my pronouns in.. put something ridiculous and confusing.

Any chance that she’s doing a low level troll?

I asked teen DD this recently and she said it means the person is happy with she or they pronouns. So you can use she/her or they/them and the person in question will feel validated.

She did roll her eyes a lot whilst explaining. She's quite fed up with the whole thing.

It what circumstances would you use ‘they’ pronouns for someone who doesn’t object to standard pronouns. Why would anyone do that?

And all for words that are used when the person in question isn’t even present.

So mind-numbingly egocentric.

Does that even work? Did she forget they bag?

I am pretty rubbish at spelling and grammar and it even hurts my eyes / struggles to be said.

I think it’s actually used by people who don’t care, to signal their obedience to the dogma nonetheless.

A friend who does this self identifies as queer, despite being married and only ever having had heterosexual relationships. So I think it may be a way of signalling “queerness” (or- I’m not like other girls 🙄)

I have seen some of the multi-pronoun-users actually complaining online because it wasn't good enough for people to use either one of "their" pronouns - no, people were expected to use them both at different times (alternately or randomly, it wasn't clear), otherwise it wasn't validating their extra-special specialness or something. So you end up with sentences like "I gave her the jumper, but they took it home" and are meant to work out that both of those refer to the same person... there is not enough

Someone at my work has done this, she has said she is a lesbian, I did some googling which seemed to say it means ' I'm gay and female but not a female stereotype ' or something, but it all seems ridiculous to me

There was a very earnest article about this linked on another thread.

I really want to spare you the minutes you'd never get back reading it so I won't link.

Apparently it's because they are terribly special and fluid and honouring the specialness of their gendery complexity. And stuff.

@Horizons83

See, that’s what I would do if forced to put my pronouns in.. put something ridiculous and confusing.

Any chance that she’s doing a low level troll?

No I don't think so. She's young (well significantly younger than me), a little alternative. So maybe it's the lesbian / not a female stereotype thing. If I ever go out and get drunk with her I'll ask her!

Makes about as much sense as an acquaintance of mine calling herself "non-binary femme-presenting trans."

Utter meaningless word salad.

My DS told me today that he had a bisexual teacher as they call themselves "Mx" rather than Mr/Ms. I gave some vague explanation about it not meaning bisexual but rather then gender that they choose / don't choose. To which his 9yo brother piped up "but how can you not know what gender you are, you just need to look at your bits!"

There was a thread on here the other day with those pronouns I think it was.

To do with that those are the most comfy ones.

What I don't get is how the hell anyone is supposed to remember all this. I have enough difficulty with names/ faces.

It's completely disconnected from any situation that involves only knowing or every talking to about 5 people.

It's just fucking ridiculous tbh.

How am I supposed to remember the preferred pronouns of someone I met at a conference 3 months ago and haven't seen since. What if they have changed?

They them for everyone is a change but norm in business for years when presenting etc about roles.

The practicalities are impossible.

If I have a call with someone with non standard pronouns and someone who has never heard of this then what explain beforehand? How long will that take?

@bocodilloconqueso

My DS told me today that he had a bisexual teacher as they call themselves "Mx" rather than Mr/Ms. I gave some vague explanation about it not meaning bisexual but rather then gender that they choose / don't choose. To which his 9yo brother piped up "but how can you not know what gender you are, you just need to look at your bits!"

The difference in saying ms brown and mx brown is essentially nothing surely!

He's got that on books timetable?

Tbh ms is still met with ??? and misunderstanding a lot.

Your children should not be talking about teachers sexuality/ taking the piss/ talking about their genitals.

You think that's ok? Good even?

How can you be non-binary (i.e. not identifying as either a man or a woman) and also trans (i.e. a man identifying as a woman or a woman identifying as a man)?

@NiceGerbil how were they "taking the piss"? My 9yo was saying as it is, in his eyes, and his brother is trying to make sense of Mx, which he's never seen before, and was given an explanation by his probably equally green friend...

@ShowOfHands

I asked teen DD this recently and she said it means the person is happy with she or they pronouns. So you can use she/her or they/them and the person in question will feel validated.

She did roll her eyes a lot whilst explaining. She's quite fed up with the whole thing.

You would think that wouldn't you from someone writing she/they but apparently it means that you must use both pronouns to describe someone. The singer Halsey uses she/they and was extremely upset because a publication only refered to her as a her rather than calling her her half the time and they the other half

www.buzzfeednews.com/article/eleanorbate/halsey-called-out-allure-no-more-press
"

"First your writer made a focal point in my cover story my pronouns and you guys deliberately disrespected them by not using them in the article," Halsey wrote.

The musician announced in March that they would be using she/they pronouns going forward, later explaining that while they are happy for people to use either, "the inclusion of 'they,' in addition to 'she,' feels most authentic to me."

"If you know me at all you know what it means to me to express this outwardly," she wrote in an Instagram story at the time.

Despite the fact that Allure's cover story explicitly mentioned Halsey's use of she/they pronouns — and quoted them as saying pronoun preferences are "meant for you to help better understand yourself" — the magazine exclusively used she/her pronouns throughout the profile. It has since been edited to include both she and they pronouns.

While preferences differ for each person, generally when people use multiple pronouns, it is best to use them interchangeably unless they specify otherwise."

So who knows what your colleague wants (apart from attention)

I noticed this on a zoom meeting recently. He/they. I didn’t understand it. Then again we had to spent around 15 minutes having everyone announce their pronouns. It took up a lot of precious time that I feel could have been better spent taking about the subject matter of the meeting.

One son speculated on the sexuality of a teacher female teacher.

That's not on. Or for a male teacher.

It's a title nothing to do with sexuality.

How old is he? Why is he even reporting this back to you?

It's easily handled. The teacher's sexuality is none of your business. Mx is a title some use like Mr or Ms.

The other son said they need to look at their bits.

In the context of a teacher that's not on. It's all ha ha ha how ridiculous are they. Not right. And he's only 9.

And Mx doesn't necessarily have anything to do with gender. Not my thing but women do use it for other reasons of their own.

There is nothing to indicate that this teacher doesn't know what sex she is. Speculating on sexuality is not on. All this from a title?

And in the end. Are you even sure that's even her title.

Loads of people are still iffy about Ms.

How old is your older son? You don't have to reply.

I think this has aggravated me because I'm a Ms since 15 and I've been told it means lesbian/ divorced. Or. But that's for angry feminists that doesn't make sense.

Change my title to miss left right and centre.

Sorry if I seem to be having a go.

We have 3 titles and none are neutral.
Men have one and it is neutral.

Always pissed me off.

@NiceGerbil
Yes they do by Mx, it's written in his teacher list.
He made the comment about them being bisexual as that's what his friend had told him. I corrected him.
As I explained earlier, my 9yo's take on it is exactly that. You're a boy or a girl and you know what you are by what sex organs you have.

I use Ms on occasions. It's personal choice. But if there going to be one Mx in a sea of Ms, Mr and Mrs, it's going to raise a comment and need an explanation.

But Mx does not mean bisexual

And also is not generally to do with trans identities, from what I have read.

Just my view but I would have said it's just a title. Who knows why. It doesn't indicate anything. Your teacher's sexuality is none of your business.

It's really important to support teachers. They have a really hard job.

This teacher obviously has gossip about who they fancy. That's not right.

It's a title. Mx. Not necessarily to do with trans and certainly not with sexuality.

In the end you don't know why they use it.

I dunno I'd just say. Hardly a big deal. Speculating about teachers is not on. (And it's always happened). Is she a good teacher? That's all that matters.

If a teacher starts teaching nonsense then ok.

But that's not happening. It's a title. With no obvious views etc attached.

Ms still gets asked for an explanation though.

Or is subject to random assumptions.

Sorry I think we're not going to agree are we!