The look at me of pronouns

[Ritascornershop]

Recently I’ve had two interactions that have startled me. One was with legal aid (I’m in Canada) where the young lawyer rang me and said “Hello this is Thomas from xx, my practice is x and my pronouns are he/him.” Just in case I thought someone with a male voice and whose name was Thomas might like me, when speaking to him, to refer to him in the third person as she/her. I laughed and pointed out that as I was speaking directly to him, his pronouns wouldn’t be relevant.

The other interaction was after I’d written my member of parliament’s office asking for an answer on something I couldn’t get a Ministry to answer me on. 3 months later I finally got a reply suggesting I contact that Ministry 🙄 and signing off “Benjamin Lastname, he/him, Useless Twat, Your MP’s office”.

I replied telling him it was useless information that should not have taken 3 months to cough up, and I didn’t care what his pronouns were and I wasn’t going to proffer mine as doing so for women tended to increase sexism in professional interactions.

Is this as rampant in the UK? It just seems so unprofessional and so “look at me!” I’ve no interest in how they hope people refer to them when they’re not there, I just want answers to my questions that they are qualified to provide.

@RocketPanda

Our point about star signs is they mean absolutely nothing. Most people think the time of year of your birth dictating your personality is utter tosh. Very like pronouns. Meaningless drivel.

Although I often think about making public an email sent from head office advising my particular office about our names. I come from an Irish speaking area of Ireland as do most of my colleagues and therefore our names are in Irish. The translation denotes my sex ( Mary Daughter of Smith for example). Apparently we should have English names that are easier to pronounce and not triggering to those who are gender diverse. This coming from a British company does not come across well at all.

Rocket Panda I'm shocked, absolutely shocked, they want you to use a pronoun because they can't be bothered to accept your heritage or even look in to it?

As a Welsh millennial I've no idea what's going on in the world around me these days! The WAG seem to be smoking the wacky backy and have gone off the deep end.

Sheesh. For some reason a while back there was a spate of people who assumed that I was Japanese because of my name (obv people who hadn’t spoken to me or knew me personally).

Maybe I should have had

Kong fae Glasgae, wee missus, an’ no Japanese.

Now granted, some Irish names are hard to pronounce especially when coupled with surnames but we're not savages and are more than fine giving a quick breakdown of pronunciation .
I do snigger slightly when I see wokey wokesters on twitter with their name in Irish which clearly comes from their sex and not the thoughts in their head.

I worked for an Irish organisation and I only knew one woman who amended her name spelling because she got fed up spelling it out. Everyone else just went with it.

The only ones I found tricky were Welsh place names.

I don’t feel safe around people who wail ‘I feel unsaaaaaaaaafe!’ every two minutes about things that shouldn’t make any sane person feel... ‘unsafe’. I assume they are unstable and possibly likely to lash out if disagreed with.

Agree and I genuinely feel unsafe in a world which does not recognise sex-based oppression. So who's feeling safe are we going to prioritise?

I can answer that! I saw this in a new article about some loathsome person who was found guilty of a homophobic rant... here’s a clue: women ain’t it...

So close... so close... but no cigar CPS

*news article

Just want to point out that lots of people that do this are just doing what they’ve been told by their managers/hr so please don’t direct your frustration directly at them!

They can (usually) say no I guess...

@AnneLovesGilbert

DSD12 has a friend who’s non binary and literally announces her pronouns for the day each morning. She sometimes feels more masculine and sometimes more feminine and this rigmarole seems to make her happier. The expectations on those around you to prop up the belief system/fantasy/neurosis are really unreasonable but their group are constantly bedecked in be kind t shirts so it was inevitable something like this would happen.

I logged in to LinkedIn for the first time in ages a week ago and the first thing it asked me for was my pronouns so I think lots of people just do it without thinking.

I found myself browsing a job ad which talked about the company including five or six things around gender and gender presentation but didn’t mention sex. That sort of illegal codswallop and the pronoun compulsion are making it easier to avoid daft organisations.

This child sounds absolutely tedious. My teens wouldn't stand for this, and would recognise it for what it is - attention-seeking, drama queenish etc. They would also ask - what do you mean, you feel more masculine?What does this actually MEAN?

The child should go off on a bike ride / walk a dog / do some baking / help with the housework / meet friends for a milkshake or whatever / interact with people outside the internet / stop being so self-absorbed.

Lots of people feel like they can’t! And don’t want the hassle or don’t have the words to articulate why they don’t want to

When asked to do things at work that wander into such territory, I ask for the business case proposition - in writing with full CBA. Gotta keep it professional...

@Atmywitsend29

See it all the time on IG, I refuse to fill out that stupid box.

A friend of mine was telling me her workplace (an NHS trust) were going down the route of making it mandatory to add your pronouns to your email

@Atmywitsend29 That's a big mistake. It makes people say they believe in something that they don't. Also, if I were gender questioning, I wouldn't want to be forced into either lying or disclosing my feelings before I was ready. We don't force people to disclose their sexuality, and this should be no different.

@Feelingmardy

I don’t feel safe around people who wail ‘I feel unsaaaaaaaaafe!’ every two minutes about things that shouldn’t make any sane person feel... ‘unsafe’. I assume they are unstable and possibly likely to lash out if disagreed with.

Agree and I genuinely feel unsafe in a world which does not recognise sex-based oppression. So who's feeling safe are we going to prioritise?

@feelingmardy Indeed. It seems everyone is entitled to feel safe these days.......except for women when they're talking about sex-based rights.

Everyone is entitled to feel safe - but why is it purely those who are actually in no physical danger??? Panic buttons in lecture halls, dial a snitch police numbers for ‘thoughts’, arggggggg

My company encourages us to add our preferred pronouns to our email signatures and when meeting new colleagues to say "My name is ProudAlly and my preferred pronouns are she / her / hers, what's your name?" Their explanation is that this will make others feel more comfortable in stating their preferred pronouns, if they want to. If that's true then I don't have a problem with it. I'm in favour of being inclusive.

If I'm ever in a position where I have to.state pronouns I shall insist on Hän/Hänen and let them work it out. If someone can look at me, see my definitely female name and not work out I'm a her they aren't worth bothering about.

What a load of cobblers. Ally to whom exactly?

@Wrongsideofhistorymyarse

Our diversity manager assumed my pronouns and put them in a newsletter. I asked her not to do so in future, explained that I'm gender critical and cited Maya Forstater's judgement.

@Wrongsideofhistorymyarse Ouch. That's so bad, and sometimes I wonder if it's deliberate trolling.Of course, everyone guess pronouns (based on biology) but guessing someone's gender????? What the fuck is that? How presumptuous! We really are going back to stereotypes with this.

Their explanation is that this will make others feel more comfortable in stating their preferred pronouns, if they want to.

Or it suggests that you can’t tell from their presentation and name whether they are a man or a woman, or it suggests that you are heavily invested in stereotypes and will others accordingly.

When talking to somebody the correct pronouns are ‘I’, ‘me’ or ‘you’. If somebody misunderstands anything about you - the way you wish to be addressed, your sex, how to pro

@FrancescaContini

People who feel “unsafe” when “the wrong pronouns “ are used - how ON EARTH do they cope if there’s a REAL emergency to deal with? A fire? Someone behaving in a verbally or physically threatening way? Broken down at night by the side of the motorway? A colleague has a heart attack in front of them?? Etc etc…

How does this generation (because I know that it’s the young ‘uns using it) actually manage to cross a road or talk to someone they don’t know??

@FrancescaContini I think you know the answer already - most of these people don't feel unsafe at all. They might feel uncomfortable maybe that someone has dared to disagree with them, but that isn't the same as feeling unsafe.

They are completely capitalising on the fact that declaring yourself unsafe instantly makes an opposing party back down. It's a way of emotionally manoeuvring someone into a position - a dominance tactic that makes the real oppressor look like a victim, when in fact it might be the complete opposite. I makes a complete mockery of people who really do need to use the word 'unsafe', and it a method that teenagers pick-up very quickly from indulgent adult who teach them this technique.

I can't stand people like that. Usually they are sly, highly manipulative and I give them a wide berth. It's the same type of people who lie and sabotage others, often covertly, and when exposed, will burst into tears and make their victim look like a bully. As I said - avoid!

@ProudAlly

My company encourages us to add our preferred pronouns to our email signatures and when meeting new colleagues to say "My name is ProudAlly and my preferred pronouns are she / her / hers, what's your name?" Their explanation is that this will make others feel more comfortable in stating their preferred pronouns, if they want to. If that's true then I don't have a problem with it. I'm in favour of being inclusive.

This is a parody post right?

the way you wish to be addressed, your sex, how to pro

Oops…

your sex, how to pronounce your name, the polite thing to do is simply correct them. There is nothing new about this.

They never wanted to be an Ally before did they? And they never want to be a LGB ally...

Funny how a bit of PR, a brand makeover and corporate sponsorship can make all the difference.