Fwiw, in every day conversation, I will sometimes use gay about myself. But I also use lesbian, and probably more. It's interesting, you do tend to feel more instinctive recoil from people when you say lesbian, perhaps because it has been so thoroughly co-opted as a porn category. But the more it's reclaimed, the less that will happen.
I use lesbian, gay, homosexual and sonetimes same-sex attracted/oriented if I'm underlining that aspect.
The only word I absolutely won't use, and will push back very hard on, is 'queer'. I mostly call it the Qslur because to be perfectly honest, it should be treated like the N word, and become something you just don't say in public unless you want to highlight yourself as an ignorant dick or an open homophobe.