A boy in dd’s Guides Unit

[Hoosi]

DD went for her first session at a Guides unit yesterday. She has been asking to go for weeks, she never went to Brownies but four of her school friends are in this group.

She was telling me about it afterwards and said ‘this other dude…’. I didn’t know what she meant (a man walking his dog in the park? Another child nearby? Gender neutral way of referring to one of the girls in the group? A male volunteer expert helping out for the session?) but it turns out she was referring to one of the other children in the group who she thought was a boy. I said guides was supposed to be girls only and she got confused and thought maybe it was a girl 🙄🙄🙄

So, do I assume this is a trans male child? Do I ask the leader to clarify? I don’t particularly care about the boy being there, I wasn’t after a female only activity for her, it was just because her friends were members. But I don’t like the confusion, and I can see concerns arising in the future if residential trips become possible again.

What would you do?

I'm not aware of any groups which are male only?

Boys Brigade units can chose not to admit girls. There are many boys youth clubs. And literally of boys sports clubs.

@DialSquare

I'm telling you as a man that is the experience, society views you with massive suspicion.

Have you been touched up, leered at, shouted at waking down the street, men in cars beeping their horn at you? Do you have to think about getting home late at night? Not be able to walk anywhere at anytime that may be isolated or where someone can attack you without anyone else seeing? Keep a weapon in your bag just in case? Look over your shoulder regularly? Constantly think about your safety in all situations. Think about what you may be wearing in case it's thought as an invitation or is impractical should you need a quick getaway. These are just a small example of the female experience. Men are viewed suspiciously because of these behaviours. We didn't know what men are the safe ones.

Yep. And I don't think it's a surprise to any woman that men also complain bitterly about the steps taken to minimise that.

@DialSquare The answer as a man is yes to lots of those things, men are by far the most likely to be the victims of violent crime. Women get unwanted sexual attention, men get beaten and stabbed.

We shouldn't treat the male population as a whole base on this small percentage of society any more than all women should be treated as murderers based Rose West or Myra Hindley

sorry, I've come in late here. Is chappy above arguing that men should be able to touch who they like otherwise they'll feel sad?

I'm just catching up...

@GintyMcGinty

I'm not aware of any groups which are male only?

Boys Brigade units can chose not to admit girls. There are many boys youth clubs. And literally of boys sports clubs.

@GintyMcGinty But Brigade do allow girls, there are gendered sports teams after a certain age to allow women to compete, I'm not aware of any male only ones for children. Locally we have girls football teams, and women's football teams. But women/girls are free to join all the others.

Thise who aren't myra Hindley understand why they can't just be where they want doing everything they want all the time

Men can fight back. Women can't. I doubt there are many men that live in fear as much as women do. Despite being the higher percentage of victims of men.

[quote CBUK22]@DialSquare The answer as a man is yes to lots of those things, men are by far the most likely to be the victims of violent crime. Women get unwanted sexual attention, men get beaten and stabbed.

We shouldn't treat the male population as a whole base on this small percentage of society any more than all women should be treated as murderers based Rose West or Myra Hindley[/quote]
Men are violently attacked & murdered by other men

Women are murdered & beaten by men

Do you see the common factor here? Yes that’s right!! It’s male violence

@BernardBlackMissesLangCleg

sorry, I've come in late here. Is chappy above arguing that men should be able to touch who they like otherwise they'll feel sad?

I'm just catching up...

@BernardBlackMissesLangCleg

Thanks for the flippant reply.

The bloke above thinks its very sad we've reached a point in society where an adult would think twice about comforting a distressed child for fear of ending up on the front page of the Daily Mail.

@Theeyeballsinthesky So because a very small proportion of men are violent physically/sexually all men are to blame?

The bloke above thinks its very sad we've reached a point in society where an adult would think twice about comforting a distressed child for fear of ending up on the front page of the Daily Mail

ah, has me too gone a bit far for you?

it's like you don't know who you can touch and who you can't these days innit?

soz about that

[quote CBUK22]@Theeyeballsinthesky So because a very small proportion of men are violent physically/sexually all men are to blame?[/quote]
'I REALLY REALLY REALLY want to be able to touch whoever I like. Stop being mean!'

Women get unwanted sexual attention, men get beaten and stabbed.

And regarding this statement. Do you know how many women a week are murdered by men? It's not just unwanted sexual attention.

The dbs check was brought in after Ian Huntly.

So Ian Huntly is an.exampke.of what happens when no checks etc are run akd safguarding isn't as rigid.

Should we go back.to that to preserve feelings ?

Wait a minute. We have a man complaining to women about male on male violence? Clean your own house guys!

@DialSquare

Men can fight back. Women can't. I doubt there are many men that live in fear as much as women do. Despite being the higher percentage of victims of men.

@DialSquare Ah, so its OK then? More men are attacked but they should just stick up for themselves?

@alkanet

Wait a minute. We have a man complaining to women about male on male violence? Clean your own house guys!

@alkanet Good job with the victim blaming there

[quote CBUK22]@Shedbuilder Scouting and it's derivatives have been open to all genders since 1976. At this point they had only handful of female members. So no, what you say is not correct.

www.bbc.com/news/uk-13082946[/quote]
No it wasn’t

It wasnt open to females in beavers cubs and scouts, that only happened in 2007

CBUK22

That is so unusual that you don’t have any single sex boys sports. How old is your son?

Our football leagues (and associated training) are boys only from U9 already I think. I have never seen a girl in any of the opposition teams.

@DialSquare

Women get unwanted sexual attention, men get beaten and stabbed.

And regarding this statement. Do you know how many women a week are murdered by men? It's not just unwanted sexual attention.

@DialSquare Do you know what percentage of murder victims in the UK are male? its nearly 3/4.

Yep! Murdered by other men!

These stats (text from Clare Dimyon's current petition to Parliament) show with stark clarity what the situation is:

"MOJ Offender Management Statistics (OMS-Q) show that > 99% of all sexual offenders are male (never below 99% for two decades 2001-20).

ONS & Eurostats (2018) show 88-90% of those "sexually offended against" are female."

You are arguing with women on a feminist board about how men have it worse? What am I reading here? The thread has been derailed… Again.

The problem is Men. If Men are attacking other Men, it's not a problem for women to deal with. The difference is, men have the strength and pier to defend themselves. Women, who have nothing to do with make violence, can't. So it's ok for women to just be raped, assaulted and abused because men can't stop being violent?

pier = power