Schoolgirl, 15, ‘stopped from using toilet while on period’

[WinnieSmith]

Schoolgirl, 15, ‘stopped from using toilet while on period’ then put in seclusion

metro.co.uk/2021/05/31/schoolgirl-15-stopped-from-using-toilet-while-on-her-period-14680071/

"...we do ask that students make every effort to do this during break and lunch time to minimise disruption to lessons..."

I’d be furious if that was my daughter.

This used to happen all the time at my school, too. I went to an all girls school and often saw girls get detention for going to the toilet. Some teachers seemed to almost enjoy telling girls that they “weren’t allowed” to go. It’s bloody ridiculous, and it shouldn’t still be happening.

@Mumoblue

girls get detention for going to the toilet

That's fucking awful.

“ In response, headteacher Margaret Hutchinson said the school would ‘never deny any student access to our bathroom facilities’.”

Then does just that and then when the pupil leaves the classroom without permission, puts her in seclusion for that action. She was refused permission (which never happens according to the Head) then punished for acting without the permission which the school says it would never deny. They can’t have it both ways...

But why hadn't she gone at break

@Scabz

But why hadn't she gone at break

Is this a serious question?

@rogdmum

They can’t have it both ways...

PR team in overdrive, I think ...

If you have heavy periods, you can have a sudden gush of blood, so even if you've been to the toilet at break, you'll need to go again.

@cookiecreampie
@Scabz

If you have heavy periods, you can have a sudden gush of blood, so even if you've been to the toilet at break, you'll need to go again.

^ this

@WinnieSmith
Yeah it was rubbish. Another thought I just had was that all my experiences were at an all-girls school. So we had a pretty relaxed attitude towards menstruation between the students (even if some teachers were uptight about it)- in fact I remember one of the most popular girls in my year standing up in the middle of maths and loudly declaring that she’d just started her period and needed to borrow a sanitary pad (not the term SHE used lol) off someone - and girls would always give them to each other, even to girls they otherwise didn’t like.
The poor girl in the OP probably had to have this conversation and punishment in front of all her male classmates, who are learning that it’s acceptable to expect a woman on her period to just wait or somehow hold it!
Bad all round.

But why hadn't she gone at break

Because it started suddenly just then? Mine did that a lot.
Or - the sanpro shifted and thus wasn't doing its job.
Or - had a massive flood.
All of which happened to me at school. My senior school was terrible in many ways but never denied anyone a toilet break if needed. At most we'd get an eyeroll and an "If you really HAVE to."

As a teacher I’ll just say that usually there’s a lot more to these stories than meets the eye. Even with a no toilet rule, if a girl asks who wouldn’t usually make demands, and gives you the look, you let them go. Or they can discreetly tell you (harder with a male teacher of course). Detentions would occur where there has been stroppiness, screeching “I’m ON my PERIOD” for maximum dramatic effect (usually roping in other screechers too), stomping out of lessons - all this is commonplace among a certain type of student and as they’re also usually prone to lying through their teeth at every given moment you’ve no idea if the period thing is true.

So while we’re all picturing a meek, shy girl who was too scared to ask and has been punished, which would be terrible, that’s quite likely not to be the case, especially with a mum who’s “livid” all over the papers.

Did you see the last line of the report? In principle, I agree it's atrocious, but it feels like there might be more to this story:

‘We have spoken with this student and her mother regarding the particular incident and have explained our rationale for the seclusion – this was because of her disrespect to a member of staff upon leaving the classroom, without permission.’

@GravityFalls

I’m not picturing any sort of meek shy girl and I don’t care if she’s a “certain type”. Troublemakers menstruate just the same as any other girl.

This really is more difficult than it seems, from a teacher's point of view. Most schools have a "not during lessons" rule because otherwise the disruption can be huge. These are teenagers - they are going to push boundaries, they would often rather be anywhere other than in lessons, and giving them a get out of jail free card can create a nightmare.

From a safeguarding point of view, the corridors and outdoor areas aren't supervised during lessons, because students aren't meant to be wandering about. So if you let everyone go to the toilet during lessons you get increased behaviour incidents. These could be serious, bullying and physical assault, or even sexual assaults considering how frighteningly widespread these are in schools. At the bottom of the scale you've just got kids being idiots and pulling faces or swearing through the windows of classrooms as they walk past. There's no way schools have the staffing capacity to have staff deployed to supervise the corridors & wider site during lesson time, so if you let kids out of your room mid lesson you are necessarily letting them out into an unsupervised environment.

Then you have just the basic swinging the lead, wanting a break from lessons. If you say girls can always leave to go to the toilet then there will be a decent proportion of girls who will just shout "period!" at you and demand to be let out of the lesson, every lesson.

Then you have the use of toilet breaks as a coordinated attack on the lesson. Multiple students all wanting to go, one after the other after the other, just to bugger up the lesson (and everyone else's learning) for a laugh.

The classroom teacher is going to have management coming down on them like a ton of bricks if they are letting kids out of their lessons all the time. But how do you do it for some but not others? How do you let the nice well behaved girls out to go to the loo because you know they won't piss about and aren't likely to be lying, but then tell the disruptive girl who hates your lesson and has arranged with her mate in the other class to both go to the loo at half past, that she can't go?

@Mumoblue
male classmates, who are learning that it’s acceptable to expect a woman on her period to just wait or somehow hold it!

One of DD's student flatmates seriously thought women could do this and that women used periods as an excuse not to have sex with him.

We had a staff meeting and a male member of staff asked if girls were on their period could they wait or did they have to go. And the FEMALE member of SLT said that no it wouldn't be an emergency and that they can wait and it doesn't come on suddenly. The school do offer toilet passes for medical need but that relies on the child having been to the Dr's about it.

I couldn't believe it, how little did she know about the female body to come to that conclusion. Personally if a girl in my class needs to go I let them and will take the flak if they get caught.

Unless you’ve recently been in a secondary classroom you can’t really picture the absolute level of disruption to a lesson that one student like this can cause. It’s probably ended up wasting up to 30 minutes of learning time for the whole rest of the class, because they kicked off instead of asking quietly.

Disrespect? Why on earth would she respect someone who denies her the basic human right to go to the toilet ? Of course she walked out, what else was the poor girl supposed to do. Whether she was stroppy or cheeky or maybe taking the mick they should always give young girls the benefit of the doubt. I used to hate teachers saying go at break, like you can predict how your period can behave ..

We used "on my period" to duck out of class and to skip pe, I'm sure this generation is no different. With modern sanpro it is very unusual for women to need to change more often than 2 hours (yes a few do but rare)

This is such a tricky issue. I cannot imagine how hard it is for a teacher.

DD got her period young and it was quite heavy. She sometimes needed to go due to sudden flooding was mortified about asking and giving the reason (school was very strict).

We agreed that she would ask to go whilst discreetly showing the teacher her pad (covered by her hand). The school was very understanding but it obviously helped that she usually is very focussed, girls only school and female teachers.

Toilet breaks are causing chaos at the Secondary I teach at. Some students asking to go every single lesson of the day. Meeting their friends in the toilets or other secluded areas to vape/bully or piss about generally! Our SLT have said we say 'no' unless it is an emergency. This would have been passed as an emergency.

However, we now have lots of girls 'leaking'and boys 'absolutely desperate'. It is a problem as all teachers and TAs are in class and very few Pastoral/SLT around to monitor the piss takers. Some kids are missing nearly an hour a day due to regar toilet/alive trips and other kids are too scared to go because of the issues listed above.

sirsamuelvimes absolutely nails the issues at Secondsry schools.

My periods were so horrendous as a teenager I used to get sent home from school. I could flood through a tampon and towel. I hated not being able to leave the classroom it was horrible spending a lesson hoping you weren’t going to bleed through your clothes.

If this is such a tricky area it sounds like schools need to apply themselves to find a way to tackle it.

Girls can't be held from going to the toilet when they need to.

If a child/YP is so desperate to skive they will make up a story then it's not really toilets that's the issue, is it? Perhaps more support is needed.

If this was my dd, I'd probably respond "You were right to go when you did - if you genuinely needed - and the teacher was right to give you detention for disobedience." And that would be the end of it. Ok, I would probably come here to discuss it, too. But sometimes both sides can be right.