How to (re)approach Headteacher (re: trans ideology)?

[therestissilence]

Advice needed so that I can act effectively and carefully. Context: small independent primary school, Catholic but not exclusive.

Two years ago, I arranged a meeting with the Head, armed with some TransgenderTrend literature; I wanted to see what her attitudes were towards the trans trend. At the time there were no kids in the school who thought they were trans. As I was telling her what has been going on in many other schools - and in wider society - she looked a little bit like she thought I was crazy, and responded with the (perhaps) naive 'well we won't be having any of that nonsense in this school'. I left her with the literature, nevertheless.

Lo and behold, a year 5 girl has emerged from lockdown (too much time on the internet?) saying she's a boy. She has a new name, has ditched the school uniform (which is very 'gendered' in our school for both the boys and girls) and wears PE kit everyday. Other parents have said their daughters have been distressed because when they 'accidentally' refer to her as 'her', or 'she' , the girl turns on them and calls them transphobic. It must be so confusing for them. I am extremely heartened, however, to hear that the teachers are still referring to the girl correctly - and seem not to be over-indulging her.

However, if the Head starts seeking advice, she could end up getting advice from the wrong people (such as Stonewall, GOD FORBID).

Now that she knows I'm NOT crazy, how might I re-approach her, in order to nudge her in the right and sane direction? I'm asking because I've already raised this once, and don't want to come across as bullish by requesting a second meeting.

Thankfully, my own daughter is in Y1, so will have minimal exposure to the mind-fuckery going on in Y5. However, I think it is a critical time for the school; they are facing their first 'case' and no doubt policies are being formulated as I type.

Advice?

Just popping on to say I think some clever psychologists (and others) need to do some proper research PDQ on the handling of children saying they are trans.

Because the whole thing feels like a big real life experiment that feels a bit out of control. I really fear for children caught up in this (whether those identifying as trans or their peers).

@Justhadathought

Yes, the parents may have something to do with. I learned today from a friend who has a child in Y5, that the girl's big sister (who is in secondary school) is identifying as 'non-binary'. What an unlikely coincidence!

@Mumdiva99

Usually, I'd agree. But the Head knows I've been interested in this subject for at least two years (we had a previous meeting), so in this case, I don't think you are right.

I've sent my response. After thanking her for taking the time to read the material, I touched on (with links, where appropriate, for her reference):

• the fact that children have been captured by an adult (and primarily male) ideology, and sadly it is girls who are at present disproportionately affected. Autistic girls are overrepresented in those numbers, and girls who are likely to turn out to be lesbians.

• social contagion and ROGD.

-the enforcing of regressive stereotypes, stereotypes, STEREOTYPES.

-the tragic consequences as revealed by detransitioners.

• some of the effects of this adult ideology at large in wider society (and sadly, it is women being disproportionately affected), such as males in prisons, sports, women only short-lists, the skewing of female crime statistics, freedom of speech, some notable court cases.

• the far reaching and intimidating reach of Stonewall and the bad advice it has been found to be giving. The atmosphere of fear around questioning their radical ideology.

-the inherent homophobia (teachers reporting an increase of homophobic language in classrooms, as trans becomes the 'fashion').

-the dodgy 'Stonewall approved' sex education in schools and the (illegal) introduction of mixed-sex toilets which is a massive safeguarding issue.

There is so much more to say. But she's a busy woman!

I provided links so she is free to do her own research (and I think she will), and who knows, she might go a different way. I highly doubt it, though. Once this box has been opened, it's pretty hard to shut it again.

@therestissilence I've saved your post as it is so so hopeful and I hope you won't mind but I may use the points you've set out if I need to have the same discussion with my DC's school.

Can I be really cheeky and ask for the links you sent? Would you mind PM'ing me with them? I'm trying to save as much relevant material myself and have loads of Mumsnet threads bookmarked!

@therestissilence

I've sent my response. After thanking her for taking the time to read the material, I touched on (with links, where appropriate, for her reference):

• the fact that children have been captured by an adult (and primarily male) ideology, and sadly it is girls who are at present disproportionately affected. Autistic girls are overrepresented in those numbers, and girls who are likely to turn out to be lesbians.

• social contagion and ROGD.

-the enforcing of regressive stereotypes, stereotypes, STEREOTYPES.

-the tragic consequences as revealed by detransitioners.

• some of the effects of this adult ideology at large in wider society (and sadly, it is women being disproportionately affected), such as males in prisons, sports, women only short-lists, the skewing of female crime statistics, freedom of speech, some notable court cases.

• the far reaching and intimidating reach of Stonewall and the bad advice it has been found to be giving. The atmosphere of fear around questioning their radical ideology.

-the inherent homophobia (teachers reporting an increase of homophobic language in classrooms, as trans becomes the 'fashion').

-the dodgy 'Stonewall approved' sex education in schools and the (illegal) introduction of mixed-sex toilets which is a massive safeguarding issue.

There is so much more to say. But she's a busy woman!

I provided links so she is free to do her own research (and I think she will), and who knows, she might go a different way. I highly doubt it, though. Once this box has been opened, it's pretty hard to shut it again.

That sounds very comprehensive. And sensible. I can't imagine why you wouldn't get a positive and probably rather grateful, response.

Well done.

I'd be really interested to read your response in full. (Not in a negative way but as a piece if education). Can you PM it to me as well? Thanks in advance.

I hope she does do her own research and finds all the expert medical opinion on trans kids and their needs.

@BilindaB

I hope she does do her own research and finds all the expert medical opinion on trans kids and their needs.

If she finds the details of the Keira Bell case she can see for herself the shameful lack of research and the use of 'experimental medicine' (as the High Court called it) on young children. Medicating children too young to give informed consent to life altering treatment has always been considered to be unethical thank heavens.

@BilindaB

I hope she does do her own research and finds all the expert medical opinion on trans kids and their needs.

She'll find a court case that calls puberty blockers experimental and that prescribing them to children needs to have court approval. She will find the NHS saying that they don't know what all the side-effects are.

She will find Bath spa University claiming that investigations into de-transitioners was not 'politically correct'.

She will find the Tavistock, their lack of study, and all the damning reports from whistleblowers, asking whether there will be any homosexual youngsters left?

And she will find the massive overrepresentation of autistic children showing up at gender clinics.

There is no part of this, on any level, that makes me not want this woman to do her own research.

^ What @Fernlake said.

Yes, well done OP!

Hopefully, any potential outbreak will be nipped in the bud.

You want to ask a headteacher to refuse to accept a 10 year old child for who they are and refuse to respect their identity and support them? Probably causing distress to a child who has done anything wrong and is just being themself? And you think this means you're working in children's best interest?? You're sacrificing the welfare of a child for your own rigid views. Scary that this is going in school communities.

@TRHR

You want to ask a headteacher to refuse to accept a 10 year old child for who they are and refuse to respect their identity and support them? Probably causing distress to a child who has done anything wrong and is just being themself? And you think this means you're working in children's best interest?? You're sacrificing the welfare of a child for your own rigid views. Scary that this is going in school communities.

You've not read the thread have you TRHR

You want to ask a headteacher to refuse to accept a 10 year old child for who they are and refuse to respect their identity and support them? Probably causing distress to a child who has done anything wrong and is just being themself? And you think this means you're working in children's best interest?? You're sacrificing the welfare of a child for your own rigid views. Scary that this is going in school communities

Please read the discussion, and then re-engage when you have some semblance of what has been spoke about.

spoken about