Lesbian Visibility Week

[Shizuku]

Shout out to my fellow lesbians on this important week!

I will be wearing my lesbian pride badge right next to my trans pride badge for the whole week in all public spaces.

I noticed the topic of sexually coercive social pressure on lesbians has been touched on up thread, and some naïve advice has been proffered.

For those previously unaware of the scale of the issue, I've taken the liberty of collecting some accounts.

TW: experiences of homophobia, lesbophobia and racism.

account

"I’ve been officially out as a butch lesbian since the early 00’s (and my fam knew before then, like it was a surprise to no one even as a kid in the 90’s lmao). I’m black and the community I grew up in is/was super religious. I mean old school FIRE AND BRIMSTONE FOR SINNERS kind of shit.

"The opposition I faced with that is nothing, N-O-T-H-I-N-G compared to the hatred, contempt, and homophobia encountered when dealing with the trans community. I have been fighting this fight for years only to be told I’m lying. No waaaay a man would really tell you to suck dick and a bunch of women would cheer them on and blame YOU for not being inclusive it’s happening. No waaaay that’s true!

"Oh, you have proof?

"Well, um, those aren’t REAL transwomen.

"Really? Not a single one of those people is a “real” transwoman?: lesbian-rights-nz.org/shame-receipts/

"I have lost so many friends, some of them whom I’ve known since elementary school, to this cult. People who watched me get jumped and bullied in school numerous times, literally spit on at protests, and disowned by a huge chunk of my family because I stood up for my right to marry another woman someday. They went on to call me a bigot, transphobe, TERF (ironically I’d never heard this term until I was called it), the list goes on.

"When we got the right to marry and could no longer be denied other basic rights in the US, I figured the next logical step would be to focus on homosexuals in other places where they are still in literal danger; I assumed we would listen to them and see what we could do to help them obtain those rights too.

"Instead we ended up with this. Instead I had to fight the same exact fights again, but this time against the people who were once my friends.

"For a little while, I was spared some viciousness compared to white women because BLM was the hot take and no one wanted to be perceived as a racist. I watched the nicest woman I knew, who fosters animals and children and literally would not hurt a fly, be called Karen and told to kill herself while the aggressor was cheered on. All because she didn’t want to have sex with a male.

"As for my former immunity, that’s not been the case for a while. I have been called the N-word and other slurs while my own friends are only concerned I don’t “misgender” the person using them."

Source here: oursuperstories.com/i-have-been-fighting-this-fight-for-years-only-to-be-told-im-lying/

Another account

TW: homophobia, lesbophobia, blackmail

account

"A few years ago, I used to play a MMORPG in which I joined a LGBT guild because I wanted a place where I could be myself without risking being harassed or bullied if people found out that I am a lesbian. I had a great time in this guild and made a lot of friends.

:About 3 months after I joined, a transwoman in the guild sent me a private message in-game asking if I would be interested in dating her. I politely declined. She asked if it was because she was trans and I said yes. I tried to explain as nicely and politely as possible that I just can’t deal with penises, male bodies, and male voices. I just can’t find them attractive, especially penises because just seeing them brings up memories of when I was raped as a child. She demanded that I date her anyway and threatened to tell everyone in the guild that I was transphobic if I didn’t. She also demanded that I send her nude pictures of myself. I refused. I took screenshots of the chat log just in-case, logged off, and went to bed feeling awful.

"While I was asleep, the transwoman did exactly what she said she would do. She told the guild’s leader that she asked me for make-up advice and that I responded by saying she could never look like a real woman and that I had called her a bunch of slurs. When I turned my PC on the next day, I was greeted by a message from the guild leader in the guild’s group chat on Skype (this was before Discord existed) that I was going to be removed from the guild because of my alleged transphobia. I denied it and a few of the other members came to my defense, saying it didn’t seem like something I would do, as I was always very friendly to everyone. I sent the screenshots of the chat log thinking it would clear my name, since she straight up said she was going to lie about me. Instead of focusing on that, the discussion shifted to me refusing to date her. I was told, by people that had been my friends for months, that my “genital preference” was transphobic and that I should just get over my trauma or just kill myself. I was told that even if I am not attracted to her, I have to date her to affirm her identity as a trans lesbian. I was given an ultimatum, date her or be removed from the guild. I refused and was kicked out.

"From that point on, I was bullied by my former guild-mates whenever we happened to come across each other in-game. When I joined a new guild, the transwoman and the leader of my old guild found out. They messaged the leader of my new guild and told him that I was a racist and was using hacks. This was shortly after there was an outbreak of hackers using an exploit in the game to delete parts of another player’s character data causing their characters to become corrupted and unable to be logged into (great Korean free-to-play MMO security pretend-thumbs-up-emoji) and there was quite a bit of paranoia amongst the community because of it. I was kicked from that guild too. The in-game bullying continued for a bit and I eventually quit a few weeks later.

"I was bullied in school for being a lesbian when I made the stupid mistake of reading a lesbian romance manga in class. The internet was my escape from that, where I could be myself without being afraid. I’ve tried to join other LGBT and lesbian focused communities on sites like reddit but ever since that incident with that MMO guild and similar things I’ve seen happen to girls on places like /r/actuallesbians, I have been afraid to admit that I don’t find transwomen attractive. I’m afraid to tell my LGBT-supporting friends, no matter how close we are or how long we’ve been friends. I’ve tried using dating sites and it seems like most of the lesbians on there are predatory transwomen that demand sex. I’ve been feeling pretty lonely and depressed, often thinking about suicide.:

oursuperstories.com/i-was-given-an-ultimatum-date-her-or-be-removed-from-the-guild/

This is so weird, but the 1st post on page 12 of this thread was a poster asking a question, but that's completely vanished and now toffeebutterpopcorn is the 1st post on the page instead 😱

Is MN glitching or have they got a new deletion style? When they delete a post it usually still shows the username but replaces the post with the deletion message. But this time the whole thing just disappeared!

Spooky.

Omg that link

I have never seen such hate

It’s hate filled

I think all this should be extremely visible to people.

I noticed the same yourhair. Wondered if I was going mad (but that's par for the course round here sometimes)

This is awful. Such homophobia

A little reminder of how homophobic and coercive some gender ideology pushers can be:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/4188099-Evidence-of-TRA-Gender-Idealogue-Homophobia

I my experience the lesbians who don't have any problems being 'inclusive' are the ones who are happily married. They are the ones who met on Gaydar Girls or down the Candy bar 7+ years ago when dating sites and lesbian bars only had female homosexuals / bisexuals in them.

They've never been hounded, bullied, guilt tripped, begged into accepting male lesbians into their bed.

They've never had a male with a lesbian fetish tell them to choke on girl dick and eat glass.

Come on older, married lesbians. We owe the youngsters more than telling them to be inclusive.

I'd agree with that Sapphos. My full on TWAW actively campaigning TRA friend is a middle aged lesbian who has been with her wife for nearly 30 years. I just dont get it.....

Why are lesbians being targeted do you think sapphos ?

When I saw the links up above I was really shocked at the hate

It made me feel sick and I had to stop halfway through

That's been my impression, too Sappho.

This is a gallery of images of homophobia and lesbophobia.

oursuperstories.com/wall-of-coercion/

Oh, great a thread for Lesbian Visibility! Excellent.

Here's a campaign from LGB alliance, who are doing great work to help lesbians.

lgballiance.org.uk/justiceforallison/

http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/3294339-cotton-ceiling-evidence-thread

My thread, similar to Sunset's. It's a bit older so many of the tweets have since been deleted but you can get the gist and there are some screenshots.

And a film on 'lesbians owning lesbians'

It's a bit older so many of the tweets have since been deleted

Which gives you an idea of what the MRAs who run Twitter think about lesbian rights.

Ariella Scarcella, discussing lesbian visibility and lesbian erasure.

@HamsterV2

For the 3rd time (now I've had it explained by MNHQ why it was deleted)

Trans lesbians do not exist, because trans women are biologically male. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being trans and heterosexual but the word 'lesbian' is taken - by women. As has been said previously, it's not gatekeeping, it's about definition and fact.

It's appropriation and colonisation, and it's crap like this that makes me ashamed to be part of of the trans community sometimes. You can stand WITH women but you can never BE one.

Thanks Hamster. Glad you sorted it out with MNHQ so this post can stand.

[quote SunsetBeetch]**@asugarr* @shizuku*

Can lesbian sex involve penises? Your thoughts?[/quote]
How about you @DarlingWithoutYou ? What do you think?

That's really awful, PurgatoryOfPotholes, shocking but not surprising.

Sexuality means attraction to people from a sex category, not a gender identity. Literally, homosexual means attraction to the same sex, heterosexual to the opposite sex, and bisexual to both sexes.

@Kit19

I'd agree with that Sapphos. My full on TWAW actively campaigning TRA friend is a middle aged lesbian who has been with her wife for nearly 30 years. I just dont get it.....

It seems to be more pulling up the ladder behind them, so to speak. Always extremely disappointing to see.

@yourhairiswinterfire

This is so weird, but the 1st post on page 12 of this thread was a poster asking a question, but that's completely vanished and now toffeebutterpopcorn is the 1st post on the page instead 😱

Is MN glitching or have they got a new deletion style? When they delete a post it usually still shows the username but replaces the post with the deletion message. But this time the whole thing just disappeared!

Spooky.

Mwahaha... I assume the deletions pull the posts back to one line, so everything moves up a bit (like Tetris)?

SapphosRock I think you've hit the nail on the head perfectly with your male with a lesbian fetish comment. I think it's nothing but pure sexual fetishisation - plain and simple. For me personally, I dont understand the whole "girl dick" thing, because for a trans person with crippling gender dysphoria, it's one of the things that you desperately want to change about yourself. I cannot describe the abject disgust at seeing "it" there between your legs. It's an obvious blatant reminder of that constant dysphoria.

The gaslighting, coercion and bullying involved to try and instigate relationships with lesbians is a testament to what is essentially another form of male violence towards women and it's not just horrific but endless - and seems to be getting worse within the trans community. When women try to counter it, they're just met with more violence. It's just a cycle.

My partner (male) and I were talking about this issue in a roundabout way the other day and he's convinced it's due to exposure to porn and female sexual objectification from a young age, mixed in with a heavy dose of AGP. There also seems to be an age bracket for the worst offenders too, 20-30, which may or may not be co-incidental.

I really want to see the likes of LGBA and grass roots lesbian groups reclaiming your culture and telling women it's ok to be with other women before it's diluted by the worst of the TRAs. No woman should be coerced in the way that's happening now.

I have no big solution, but women need to take back control of their boundaries, spaces and rights before they're eroded further. It's nice to see this starting to happen. Seeing Bev and Kate on Glinner's show yesterday really bought a smile to my face, especially seeing the dignity with which they both handle the constant harrassment. Absolutely amazing women!