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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

It is not feminist to fancy evil people

140 replies

MaryHappyWin · 24/03/2021 19:39

This is an important feminist point.
It is not feminist to support every evil.
Feminism is not about freeing women to commit evil.
Just as no decent person wants every man to support evil.
It is not feminist to support abuse and violence and bullying.
Feminism is not about people supporting abusers,
It is not feminist to fancy evil people.
I think people who are attracted to evil are evil.
If someone supports evil then they are evil.
I am fed up hearing people boast about their sexual attraction to abusive evil men, as if it is something to be proud of.
People who fancy evil people are so smug about supporting abusive men, as if it is a cheeky fetish. It is not a cheeky fetish. It is supporting evil. It is making evil people win.
You cannot be a good feminist if you attracted to abusers,

bullies, rapists, gangsters, child abusers and domestic abusers.

Abusers are evil and can wreck lives with mental illness and trauma.
It is depraved, warped, twisted, trite, smug, narcissistic and selfish to be attracted to evil people.
I read someone suggest that no one should be shamed for their sexual, preferences. But I disagree with that.
There is nothing wrong with being gay or lesbian.
But people should be ashamed to be sexually attracted to evil people, as in abusers.
Supporting rapists and murderers is on the same level as being sexually attracted to child abuse.
People should be shamed for their sexual preferences if their sexual preferences make them support abusive people, out of a sexual desire for evil people.
Sexual attraction is a powerful emotion. If someone is sexually attracted to evil, then they are fundamentally evil people for finding evil sexually attractive. They are no different to child abusers, or bullies or domestic abusers. If someone supports evil then they are evil.

To fancy someone for doing evil, gives support to that evil person, it humiliates the victim. It makes the evil person win.
It is not brave, or profound or mysterious to support evil abusive people. It is cowardly, weak-minded, cliched, creepy and depraved to fancy people for abusing others.
I think many people stay with wife beaters because they are brought up to see abusive violent men as manly and sexy. That is utterly sick. We need to stop people seeing evil as manly and sexy.
Also films that support rape are evil. Films that glamorize or support rape should be banned. Anyone who supports rape is dangerous.

I remember as a child being driven at by a young man, who was accompanied by two laughing girls, as he tried to run me over.
There are tones of examples of people support their bully doing bullying.
Sexual attraction to evil is not romantic it is weak minded and creepy,
There are people who fancy abusive dangerous men, and still think they can see themselves as the voice of common sense. If you fancy abusive people, then you are motivated to support abuse and punish their victims.

I hope my view does not cause anyone any offence. I am interested to see people's replies. What do you think of my view. Should people be free to support abuse?

OP posts:
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MarkRuffaloCrumble · 24/03/2021 19:41

Did anyone say it was? Confused

User133847 · 24/03/2021 19:41

I am fed up hearing people boast about their sexual attraction to abusive evil men

Men are less encouraged to do better if evil is rewarded by other women.

GCAcademic · 24/03/2021 19:42

You again

AdHominemNonSequitur · 24/03/2021 19:47

Eh? Feminist. Certainly not. Co-dependant and attracted to narcissists maybe.

Do you have a particular "feminist " individual in mind who claimed feminism and also claimed attraction to "evil"?
I have never heard a feminist say similar,
nor have I heard it as any sort of trope,
nor believe it myself.

I think you may be confused.

MonkeyNotOrgangrinder · 24/03/2021 19:49

🥱

TheBuffster · 24/03/2021 19:51

I fancied Spike the vampire from Buffy.
He's fictional though, does that count?
Oh and Mr Malfoy from the HP films.
And Dracula in the Winona Ryder version.
And Alan Rickman in anything.
Hmmm. Bad feminising.

BelleHathor · 24/03/2021 19:52

De ja vu?

PlanDeRaccordement · 24/03/2021 19:53

I think it is not that simple and that human attraction is more complex.

First, usually you feel attraction before you know the person well enough to know if they are “evil” unless you are writing love letters to a serial killer in prison. So I don’t agree that feeling attraction means you support evil. That is a leap of logic built on straw.

Secondly, a number of women are attracted to men that they think they can “rescue” because they have seperated the person from their actions. This is common with attraction to gang members...and realistically many young men in gangs were not given a choice to join or not join. It was join a gang or die kind of choice. So women sometimes feel this is not a bad person, but a person forced to do bad things and with their support and love, they can help them to another life. It goes that other way to with men being attracted to female gangsters as well. It’s not always gangs though....combat veterans have same powers of attraction to the opposite sex because they’ve done state sanctioned murder and are seen as good protectors. There’s a bit of a caveman brain to attraction. We evolved as women wanting to have as a mate the man that can kill the sabre tooth tiger. So some of the attraction emotions are hard wired by evolution and so aren’t really chosen by a person.

Some people, yes I agree they would be supporting evil but these people are usually evil too. Like they are both bullies and both enjoy watching the other be a bully. Otherwise, a good person would overrule any attraction and leave the “evil” person as soon as they found out they were evil.

Frogsonglue · 24/03/2021 19:53

Didn't we have this a few days ago?

GlendaSugarbeanIsJudgingYou · 24/03/2021 19:54

Who fancies what now?

OneEpisode · 24/03/2021 19:54

I am not proud to find the actor Rufus Sewell attractive even when playing John Smith in Man in the High Castle. I don’t think that makes me evil, though?

Matildatoldsuchdreadfullies · 24/03/2021 19:55

Lucas North was a bad, bad man in Spooks. I am clearly not a feminist...

CongealedCrags · 24/03/2021 20:02

Tr:dl remember Boris Johnson is an utter knobhead?

wheresmycrown · 24/03/2021 20:03

I'll be honest, I didn't even read that drivel. I was bored after the first sentence

Don't bring feminism into your nonsense rantings

JosieJarker · 24/03/2021 20:05

Was spike evil?
I know he's a vampire but wasn't he good sometimes? Its been a while.
Eric the vimpire in tru blood is fancyable, maybe I'm evil without realising.

TheBuffster · 24/03/2021 20:05

Does someone you know own a Che Guevara t shirt or something?

I googled hot villains and it came up with this list.
www.google.com/amp/s/www.buzzfeed.com/amphtml/delaneystrunk/xx-movie-villains-people-that-people-are-weirdly-a

Which reminded me I missed David Bowie in Labyrinth off my original list.

imalmostthere · 24/03/2021 20:08

I fancy spike too.
And angel. They both did some killing. Damon! Hey maybe it's vampires. But gosh, several tv villains I've had a crush on over the years. Everyone loves a bad boy! Sorry if that offends you op.
Also - what in the hell is this post? At what point has someone bragged about being attracted to a rapist? You sound a bit unhinged op Confused

TheBuffster · 24/03/2021 20:11

Spike is a really interesting case (if you are me anyway).
James Marsters was originally cast to play a pure evil dirty punk vampire for five episodes, then Angel was going to kill him off.
But James being James he very quickly amassed a massive following, effectively giving him plot armour (which Joss Whedon hated as he wanted vampires to be pure evil, no exceptions)
What followed was the gradual filling in of Spike as a complex and amoral grey character, a trickster figure. Then he has a redemption path which was awesome (but ultimately destroyed for gags in Angel the series).
Angelus by the way is hotter than Angel imo, so I am definitely a bad feminist.
Doubly because I fancied Spike from the first even though Jame's the same age as my dad

CatsHairEverywhere · 24/03/2021 20:15

I can’t tell if I’m being preached at or if there is a message in there I’m missing entirely

imalmostthere · 24/03/2021 20:18

@TheBuffster

Spike is a really interesting case (if you are me anyway). James Marsters was originally cast to play a pure evil dirty punk vampire for five episodes, then Angel was going to kill him off. But James being James he very quickly amassed a massive following, effectively giving him plot armour (which Joss Whedon hated as he wanted vampires to be pure evil, no exceptions) What followed was the gradual filling in of Spike as a complex and amoral grey character, a trickster figure. Then he has a redemption path which was awesome (but ultimately destroyed for gags in Angel the series). Angelus by the way is hotter than Angel imo, so I am definitely a bad feminist. Doubly because I fancied Spike from the first even though Jame's the same age as my dad
I love your buffy passion and your name - another fanatic here 🙏❤️
WhereYouLeftIt · 24/03/2021 20:22

I didn't read your OP beyond the first few lines @MaryHappyWin, because frankly - your writing is dull. And you seem to be locked into some sort of purity spiral.

Who you feel attraction to is a standalone kind of thing. It's neither feminist nor not feminist. Probably something to do with pheremones. Or something.

If you do ever have any thoughts on feminism, do post for discussion. But this ain't it.

TeckanandMultra · 24/03/2021 20:22

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

TheBuffster · 24/03/2021 20:25

Thanks. It's my specialist subject.
On the subject of evil men, I find Xander in Buffy problematic as a bit of a misogynist with a slightly rapey vibe. Which is a bit hypocritical as damn I cut Spike some slack. I feel there is an evil=hotness graph in fiction that could explain this.

Oh Jaime Lannister is hot too. I give Tyrion a pass too, but he is sooo evil in the books.

But Ramsey Snow is a no.

Seriously though, Spiffy or Bangle?

RagzReturnsRebooted · 24/03/2021 20:26

Um, what now?

Ooh, Spike. My Mum loved Spike. He wasn't my type then but definitely would be now.

TheBuffster · 24/03/2021 20:27

Spuffy or Bangel?
Edward or Jacob?
Darcy or Cleaver?

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