It is not feminist to fancy evil people

[MaryHappyWin]

This is an important feminist point.
It is not feminist to support every evil.
Feminism is not about freeing women to commit evil.
Just as no decent person wants every man to support evil.
It is not feminist to support abuse and violence and bullying.
Feminism is not about people supporting abusers,
It is not feminist to fancy evil people.
I think people who are attracted to evil are evil.
If someone supports evil then they are evil.
I am fed up hearing people boast about their sexual attraction to abusive evil men, as if it is something to be proud of.
People who fancy evil people are so smug about supporting abusive men, as if it is a cheeky fetish. It is not a cheeky fetish. It is supporting evil. It is making evil people win.
You cannot be a good feminist if you attracted to abusers,

bullies, rapists, gangsters, child abusers and domestic abusers.

Abusers are evil and can wreck lives with mental illness and trauma.
It is depraved, warped, twisted, trite, smug, narcissistic and selfish to be attracted to evil people.
I read someone suggest that no one should be shamed for their sexual, preferences. But I disagree with that.
There is nothing wrong with being gay or lesbian.
But people should be ashamed to be sexually attracted to evil people, as in abusers.
Supporting rapists and murderers is on the same level as being sexually attracted to child abuse.
People should be shamed for their sexual preferences if their sexual preferences make them support abusive people, out of a sexual desire for evil people.
Sexual attraction is a powerful emotion. If someone is sexually attracted to evil, then they are fundamentally evil people for finding evil sexually attractive. They are no different to child abusers, or bullies or domestic abusers. If someone supports evil then they are evil.

To fancy someone for doing evil, gives support to that evil person, it humiliates the victim. It makes the evil person win.
It is not brave, or profound or mysterious to support evil abusive people. It is cowardly, weak-minded, cliched, creepy and depraved to fancy people for abusing others.
I think many people stay with wife beaters because they are brought up to see abusive violent men as manly and sexy. That is utterly sick. We need to stop people seeing evil as manly and sexy.
Also films that support rape are evil. Films that glamorize or support rape should be banned. Anyone who supports rape is dangerous.

I remember as a child being driven at by a young man, who was accompanied by two laughing girls, as he tried to run me over.
There are tones of examples of people support their bully doing bullying.
Sexual attraction to evil is not romantic it is weak minded and creepy,
There are people who fancy abusive dangerous men, and still think they can see themselves as the voice of common sense. If you fancy abusive people, then you are motivated to support abuse and punish their victims.

I hope my view does not cause anyone any offence. I am interested to see people's replies. What do you think of my view. Should people be free to support abuse?

Angel and Cordy - the relationship we never got,

I can’t forgive the show for the season with Angel’s son (how Angel and the wonderful Darla could produce a son so whiny), but the episode where Cordy comes to say goodbye is all the feels.

I’m not sure what the OP’s issue is, but most women can fancy Spike without writing prison letters to Charles Manson. I’ve always thought the attraction to bad guys was the allure of having no limits; fantasising about being as selfish and self-indulgent as women are rarely able to be. And taking out the bloke who tells you to smile, without guilt.

I like a bit of bad burning hunk of amoral love in my telly shows. I was never into Buffy but I'd have been very happy with a little bit of Draco from Xena and over the moon with a lot of Ares. I'm also a feminist, it's not mutually exclusive.

@PotholeHellhole

Passing over the absolute horrors on this thread, I've always been mightily irked by being told I muat fancy "bad boys".

I don't. Never have. I'm generally looking for a combination of law-abiding, sarcasm and long hair!

Likewise! Real-life 'bad boys' have never appealed, no matter how physically attractive (and some of them were) - just couldn't unsee their basic wankerishness, I guess.

I wonder if you’re confusing women with feminists? You do realise that not all women consider themselves feminist and that not every choice made by a woman is a feminist one?

Anyone who read or watched 50 Shades and found themselves fancying CG (rather than Jamie Dornan) probably doesn’t consider themselves a feminist, as that was a portrayal of an abusive relationship dressed in romance’s clothing. As an actual feminist it made me cry, seeing her drawn in by his ‘nasty bastard pretending to be Dom’ behaviour, but I have plenty of female friends who thought it was super sexy. They’re probably not the ones on this forum or wandering around in their Adult Human Female t shirts!

I dated and was very good friends with a few "bad" (or at least what my parents and society deemed to be bad )boys in my teens/early twenties.
Overall they were pretty decent , but on the fringe of respectable. Single parent homes,non academic, parents in low income jobs, working in internet cafes or other low income jobs instead of going to uni,drinking, pot users etc. I liked that I could be myself around them.

I was too fat for the nice boys anyways.

Apparently Angel and Cordy was the original plan. Then Charisma Carpenter got pregnant and Josh Weedon treated her like crap

I loved Cordy's character development until the Connor series as well

The Cordy and Connor thing, I just can't even.
Speaking of non feminist literature it's on par with the Jacob and Renesme thing.
Yes, I did read it (the whole series). However I can still consider myself a feminist as recognised it for the misogynistic nonsense it was.
Ditto 50 shades. Such an interesting concept that ended up being such a wasted opportunity for exploring a very dark thing in favour of pseudo romance.

I'd say Christian Grey just pips Edward for gaslighting abusive jerk, but it's a close call.

@TheBuffster

I fancied Spike the vampire from Buffy. He's fictional though, does that count? Oh and Mr Malfoy from the HP films. And Dracula in the Winona Ryder version. And Alan Rickman in anything. Hmmm. Bad feminising.

+1 on Spike and Alan Rickman 😅

I’ve always thought the attraction to bad guys was the allure of having no limits; fantasising about being as selfish and self-indulgent as women are rarely able to be. And taking out the bloke who tells you to smile, without guilt.

This is interesting. So is the idea that being the one to “fix” a bad guy and turn him good is a power fantasy for some women; being so strong / powerful / awesome that a man would change his ways for you.

I often find fictional villains more compelling and attractive than the “good guys”. Sometimes they’re just more interestingly written. I resent the notion that I (and women in general) can’t differentiate between fiction and real life though (although I’m not sure if that’s what the OP is talking about). In reality, I’m attracted to kind, patient and gentle men.

It's a trope in fiction surely.

Very few women when told that a man is amurderer, child abuser etc think oooh that sounds hot.

Women who are entangled with these men is a different matter. They don't tend to let the woman know from the start that they're going to beat them up/ like to torture animals etc.

And often what is seen as a 'bad boy' is not very bad. A boy your parents will disprove of (rebellion) because he smokes and has a motorbike or whatever!

Glamorising those who harm women should be a feminist issue. Though there is a difference between finding someone attractive and doing other than thinking about it.

I'd agree fiction as a whole needs an overhaul. Just off the top of my head:

Movies and shows should have more than one female actress.
Who aren't all 'types' but 3d well written characters.
Women shouldn't be a tool or reward for men of action.
Relationship should be either varied or age appropriate. Not just beautiful young girl and older/geekier/worldly man.
Women should represent 50% of characters.
Women shouldn't be a 'boon'.
Women should have as many lines as men.

Of course, seeing as how MEN are writers and directors in the majority of media it's down to them to change things.

Plus more female writers and directors would be great.

Ah, what did Red Molly see in James?

Well, there are songs that feature Box Hill and others that don't.

Tbh most of the men I find attractive in films etc are types that I wouldn't touch with a bargepole in real life. But either they aren't evil, just not good relationship material (e.g. Sherlock) or they are evil, but in a cartoonish or fantasy character way (e.g. Spike, Loki etc). I don't find bad men attractive irl at all.

Anyway, I doubt that many women get involved with real-life evil men because they've been sold the idea of the sexy movie baddie. It's because they have messed-up boundaries and serious problems in their lives, which cause them to make unwise choices.