Am I being dramatic?

[talkingdeadscot]

DH and I have been having various discussions around the trans issue and what it means for the rights of women and girls. He's TWAW and I'm fiercely feminist.

He's actively campaigning for the removal of single sex spaces as per Stonewall. I'm a woman who wants to keep those spaces. He believes gender is more important than sex so in the long run single sex spaces are better for everyone.

For me, I've said why this isn't better for women, I've said I don't want to lose single sex provision but it makes no difference. He says we both have an ideology we believe in and neither of us will change their mind.I feel as though this is just another case of a man telling a woman what's best so in that regards it's no different to men denying women contraception or abortion. He says I'm being ridiculous and over dramatic, it's nothing like the same. Besides, plenty of women are happy without single sex spaces.

Am I being ridiculous or over dramatic?

If you want to remove rights that trans people have today - say it.

You have rights. Human rights. And protections for gender reassignment under the equality act. Not every groups rights belong to you.

It's not about "preserving single-sex spaces". No space is currently "single-sex" in the way you mean it (genitals at birth)

Yes there certainly are single sex services. My local refuge is one of them. Under single sex exemptions. Sorry to disappoint.

Maybe start your own thread rather than hijacking one where a woman is asking for support about her marital issues? It seems rather disrespectful

A fair point. I will stop allowing myself to be dragged into a derailment.

It sounds as though he wants you to end the relationship. He's overly invested in all of this. I agree with PP about having an STD check, and taking steps to leave. There's no point having this argument with him over and over again.
fwiw I would not be with someone who was actively campaigning to take away my rights. That's not an ideological difference, I could overlook because it comes from such a misogynistic place.

He's just sticking up for the rights of other men over women (and his wife) misogyny at its finest.
I couldnt be with someone like this as I just couldn't respect them due to their total lack of respect for what is meant to be their nearest and dearest, I.e. you, his wife

No. That's not what case-by-case means. That would be a "blanket policy", which is explicitly mentioned as discriminatory.

The EA 2010 specifically mentions as a possible legitimate aim women feeling safe and comfortable to speak about their rape, and says that it can be a proportionate means of achieving this to restrict a rape counsellor role to biological females, even where there is a GRC.

So no.

[Here to support talkingdeadscot people using this thread to —write lies— debate should be ashamed of themselves.]

I’m so sorry talkingdeadscot that would have finished my relationship too. Many years ago DH was unthinkingly “TWAW” but as soon as I pointed out that I didn’t consent to a male person being in changing room with me he got it; if he hadn’t I would have been devastated.
Even bloody ScotGov relented & agreed that rape victims should be allowed to request a medical examiner of the same sex as them!

@CuriousaboutSamphire

You know you said earlier you wouldn't bother the Trans Widows? Would you at least reassure us that you'll pop in and have a chat if/when the seemingly inevitable happens?

I am sure they'll be happy(?!?!) to help.

I will, thanks.

I just need to learn finally that there is no reasoning with him on this issue and that even if he did say he'd changed his mind the damage is done.

Thank you all for confirming that I'm not going mad. Onwards and upwards

Just a quick post script

I asked if he was so sure of his position if he would come on here and ask what the Mumsnet feminist board thinks. If he would come and defend his theories and maybe even have some of them challenged.

It won't surprise you to find out he won't.

Interesting feeling when you realise you've got more balls than your husband

Awww I'm disappointed! We would have handed him his arse on a silver platter. With a sprig of parsley.