Pronouns in email

[Sammiesnake]

I’ve just been asked to identify my pronouns on my email signature at work and I’m finding it hard to put into words why this upsets me.

For the record, I’m not bothered at all what others choose to call themselves and accept any pronouns asked of me just as I do anyone’s name. It’s up to them.

However, I don’t want to be pointing out that I’m a female in my email signature. Why do I have to announce my gender in a work email? Why is it even relevant at all to my work? I want to be responded to as a competent adult at work, not as a female particularly.

I can’t explain how it makes me feel but basically I find it upsetting that I should have to have my gender visible on every single email I send which really has nothing to do with my gender at all!

Does anyone else feel like this? Have you managed to explain this to your workplace?
Thanks

You summed it up in your first post OP - why should you be forced to declare your sex or your gender identity (if you have one)? What relevance is it to how you are treated? It should be none, but if you're female it could result in you being disadvantaged.

It might work fine for 'he/hims' who are declaring 'I am the male default human - the one who runs things and owns things'.
I'm sure there's a de beauvoir quote - something about before I'm allowed to define myself first I have to say I'm a woman.

If you're quite senior I think there's a real argument for senior management having a mixture of with and without pronouns, modelling both, so ppl are comfirtsble to put them in, but also comfortable to leave them out. Some ppl have good reasons not to, & not just the reasons we have here.

@AnyFucker

I received one of these fucking ridiculous communications today.

An email sign off of Name (she/her)

Virtue signalling at it’s most craven

To be fair it’s a useful twat filter on social media

It’s going to happen any day at my place.
I’m going to go for: all/the/virtues

Some of these responses are genuinely really helpful so thank you very much.

I & me
they are pronouns aren't they?

Possibly not the best career move - you never know when you're dealing with a GC feminist

I tend to agree. It is basically you putting up a sign saying "I'm gullible and/or poor of critical thinking and/or susceptible to peer pressure".

It's not not a good look.

Conversely I expect you're judged the other way by not doing it as "transphobic" (at least until they decide putting the pronouns in IS transphobic, which will probably be in a couple of months - see "womxn").

Actually, that's it. Just tell them that requiring pronouns is transphobic. And don't say anything else. Leave them to sweat and figure out why. And if they ask why threaten to raise their transphobia further.

I always feel a little bit disappointed when I see someone using them, but I think most people do it to ‘be kind’ and for ‘woke points’ and not because they actually sign up to it.

Actually, that's it. Just tell them that requiring pronouns is transphobic. And don't say anything else. Leave them to sweat and figure out why.

I know you meant this as a joke (and I think it's a good idea btw!) but it got me thinking that it is pretty transphobic to force someone to identify what their gender identity (if they believe they have one) is. Hmmm.....

I would say I prefer to keep my pronoun preferences private.

Sorry to say again what I already said, but the Yogyakarta principles which I referred to above are THE guiding principles for transgenderism and they definitely would argue against mandatory pronoun declarations. So play them at their own game and outwoke them!

One of the things I find upsetting about the avalanche of this bullshit is that it’s getting to the point where if you don’t announce your pronouns you are automatically assumed to be a bigot.
I have been trying to understand where the advocates of this are coming from (not the TRAs, but your everyday virtue signallers in the workplace). I think their thinking goes that one must display one’s pronouns so that trans people don’t feel the odd one out when they have to state theirs, because it’s not immediately obvious.
I can see the logic in that to a certain extent. But why can’t we just foster the sort of environment where someone needn’t feel bad for announcing their pronouns, if they feel the need? Isn’t that what real inclusion is?

It's one of the tips for being a 'trans ally'. I didn't get any further.

I had to travel for business to parts of the world that were particularly dangerous, and especially dangerous as a single woman’s I used to do everything I could possibly do to avoid advertising that fact: used initials only when they assumed I was male and no title. I made sure that my hotel bookings and airport transport cars that were prebooked never used a female title or pronoun. I consider it basic personal safety never to advertise I am female. I even dislike work e mails that make you out a photo of yourself on it

I have never understood why it is ‘supportive’. If someone is MtF then presumably would change name to a female name (and vice versa for FtM) so on email not necessary to declare pronouns. If you want to use neutral they/them then why do you need everyone else to declare they are she/her or he/him. Just to feel special?
And why always write both she and her? Why not just she?
I hate the idea that getting pronouns wrong is somehow a really bad thing and to be avoided at all costs.

I am lost, I keep seeing people talking about pronouns and I don’t know what they mean?

What do they expect from you when it comes to pronouns?

@Blueberries0112

I am lost, I keep seeing people talking about pronouns and I don’t know what they mean?

What do they expect from you when it comes to pronouns?

Well, it used to be the case that they would want you to avoid misgendering them.

However, recently, a student in my DH’s department emailed all the staff demanding that they actively use said student’s pronouns. Normally, it’s unnecessary to use someone’s pronouns in their presence as you would say “you” to them instead of “he”, “she” or whatever. But this student wanted his lecturers to validate him by using his pronouns in front of him.*

*I can’t actually remember what pronouns this student had. I tried to be gender neutral and use “they” but the sentence was too confusing as it was reading as if student was asking the lecturers to use their (lecturers) pronouns.

It's because some people are neither he or she any everybody needs to know it.

People sometimes mistake my 2 year old daughter for a boy. I should write her pronouns on her head. (They wouldn't let me set up an email for her so I can't put her pronouns in her email. Maybe that's why people get it wrong.)

Totally agree. The English language.is confusing enough. With the use of they/them to refer to a singular person, it reads terribly and is so confusing.

Some of these responses are very helpful
I noticed all the CQC inspectors do it now.
I am just waiting for it to come to my organisation. I reckon it’s around the corner.

It’s mandatory where a work (public sector) and absolutely is virtue signalling by the organisation (see also “International Womxns Day”).

I resent it because I know people outside the organisation judge me as an idiot when they read it.

Where I work it's starting to come in, but the overwhelming majority of people doing it are women (of the female sexed kind). Female socialisation in action - be nice and make life easier for everyone else.

User143 I wonder if it is actually legal to enforce staff to declare their gender identity? Whether that would stand up in court. It seems like a breach of your right to privacy which isn't actually necessary for you to do your job. You might prefer not to tell this to people who you only communicate with by email. Or you might, as a matter of conscience wish not to try & dictate to ppl how they should talk about you.

Tell them that as you are still deciding on your pronouns, you'd be uncomfortable with having to declare them. That you will let them know when this changes

You could ask them for a list of acceptable genders. That would be interesting.

Just as 'womxn' has suddenly become transphobic, all it will take is for one fashionable TRA to declare pronouns transphobic and history will be rewritten. I hope the day comes soon.