Feeling really conflicted

[Tittie]

I've been lurking on the GC threads for quite some time, but don't feel articulate enough to contribute, compared to some of the brilliant posters here!

I peaked about 2 years ago. I remember confidently describing Mumsnet as transphobic to my friend not long before that I can't even remember what it was that changed my mind.

Anyway, there seems to be more and more coverage of trans/sex/gender issues in the media at the moment. It's making me incredibly uncomfortable that I find myself agreeing with newspapers, celebrities and politicians that I would ordinarily distance myself from (eg the Daily Mail). I am 100% gender critical, but I have this nagging doubt about who I am both agreeing and disagreeing with. Is anyone else feeling conflicted in this way?

Not even men who are under two in a coma?

This is another illuminating threat.

TRA - we demand access to women's single sex spaces.
Women - nope.
TRA - Huh. what right do you have to say no to us?
Women - Still no.
TRA - wah, wah, wah.

@Justhadathought

Since then I've let go of my old certainties in the realm of political ideology, and find the whole left/right ding dong utterly tiresome.

Same. I judge parties now based on whether they believe in reality or if their policies entertain too much fantasy.

Not even men who are under two in a coma?

To resort to using this as an argument tells me the wheels are falling off the trans ideology wagon.

Yes, completely agree, Justa, on all counts. I'm shocked, now, by the intellectual laziness that constitues much of politics/debate. And really disheartened by the lack of political representation for women.

OP you’re in the same place many of us were when we came here.

I had a significant change of mind when I realised transwomen typically still had a penis and there was (to my mind) a shocking number of transwomen in prison demanding to be put in women’s prisons who were in there for violence and sexual assault. I hadn’t found mumsnet then, I was still followed trans activists on Twitter as I wanted to be kind and support people I was being told were vulnerable (even though I was starting to have my doubts). Twitter trans activists sent me here and I have been educating myself ever since. I only have the slightest pang now when I find myself agreeing with those I wouldn’t normally and I pay no heed to those politically I would once have supported as they will not support an open debate on this subject and listen to us. ( those pangs are slight sorrow but no longer any doubt)

Enabling open debate would have made all the difference.

The Daily Mail is very good at gauging popular opinion, some of that I agree with and some I don’t. Either position of the extremes of political opinion is always bad news for women so I tend to ignore the extremes.

Owen Jones is utterly hateful about any woman who doesn’t fawn over him so I’d tend to assume his view is one I’d be extremely unlikely to align myself with.

If anything I’m on the left of many Labour policies particularly around social housing but I’m also strongly in favour of policies that enable social mobility. I make my own decisions on all of these policies so why would I take a left view on something that is bad for women.

And as I did note on another thread any ‘side’ that will abuse campaigners like Hibo Wardere for focussing on women and girls is not a side I want to be on.

History is littered with the powerful of all political persuasions carrying along ordinary people with bad decisions, this is no different.

Felt conflicted for a while. You can agree with people on one issue but often not for the same reasons. Mostly what it's made me realise is how much denouncing of others goes on within the left, even when people are mainly in agreement.

At the same time, the threatening behaviour of TRAs was what made me feel a bit uneasy to begin with, and the dehumanising way women are consistently spoken about is so clearly horrific. (But hey, that one Magdalen Burns tweet...)

Exactly the same here, @Justhadathought, it was the stickers and then the council debate that followed where I first realised it seemed to becoming widely considered 'hateful' to say women don't have penises. I was sat reading the reports thinking 'but...but..but....', while previously sensible friends were putting self righteous social media posts out reminding everyone that to say otherwise was wrongthink. Proper through the looking glass stuff.