Savourysenorita:
Would you tell a Muslim they should feel free to eat pork if they wanted to because it's a ridiculous notion that they shouldn't?
Yes. Of course. It is, indeed, ridiculous, at least for the reason they tend to offer.
Would you tell a lady from dubai that she should feel free to wear a bikini if she's hot in summer?
Yes. Of course, anyone should be free to wear what they like.
Would you tell a jehovas witness they should feel free to celebrate christmas because their poor little children are missing out?
Yes, although that is one of the minor mistreatments JWs inflict on their poor little children.
You disagree: ' No ,' you say, ' because you respect their culture. We leave them to it and don't try to rationalise their beliefs.'
However, there is a difference between respect for other people (which connects with respect for other cultures) and respect for beliefs. It is not at all contradictory to have respect for others and their culture whilst criticising their beliefs, of course in appropriate contexts and with appropriate manner. I have lots of respect for my muslim friends and acquaintances, but very little for their religious beliefs. Likewise my christian friends and acquaintances. Many of them are fine people, but their religious beliefs are nonsense, as I will explain at appropriate moments; yes, giving reasons (is this what you take 'rationalising' to mean?).
To do otherwise to fail to criticise a false and/or harmful belief of some group or other out of a misunderstanding of what tolerance and respect demand of us is just patronising. It shows a lack of respect for someone if you can see where they are mistaken but refrain from explaining to them.
Of course I may be wrong. Perhaps it is indeed a good thing to acknowledge Christ as my saviour, to deny my children blood transfusions, or to refrain from eating pork because a certain medieval god mandated so. But if I am wrong, I want to be told so -- and I want to hear the reasons why I am wrong. ' Do-as-you-would-be-done-by ' applies.
Many people mistake tolerance and respect for other people with relativism of various kinds. Our respect for others, wholly desirable though it be, does not entail their beliefs are as respectable as ours.
As for boys wearing what they like. Sure, why not? All the reasons offered for denying them the chance seem to me bad ones (some just plain sexist, of course). My own children now grown, I refrain from telling them what to wear; grandchildren wear whatever they like when I am looking after them (which sadly has been less in recent times), given what their parents supply, for the most part. Sometimes a grandson will choose a dress; that is fine with me.
Bullied for what he wears? Tackle the bullies, not the victim.
But, yes, of course circumstances alter cases. In Dubai it would not be sensible seriously to try to persuade someone to wear a bikini. Likewise, there might be times and places where you would want to secure your child's safety by adjusting the clothes he wears. We should temper the wind to the shorn lamb as Sterne reminded us.
You might not allow your son to attend at the Den in Millwall wearing a Chelsea replica shirt; likewise, there may be cases/places/situations where you would temper the wind by explaining to a small boy why he might not want to wear his dress.
The principle stays, though: boys (all of us) should be allowed to wear dresses if they (we) want to.