Would you ok your son wearing a dress?

[KristinaJup]

Candace Owens recently tweeted (in response to Harry Styles wearing a dress on a magazine cover) "Bring Back Manly Men".. amongst other things.

Who really cares if a guy wears tutus and glittery dresses? Prince was hot af in his heels and Makeup.

Imo I would have no problem with it at all if my son wanted to put on a skirt but the tweet gained a lot of traction and I saw quite a few memes and lots of fingers pointed at feminism for "ruining men"

If we carry on this way the next thing will be....women should not be wearing trousers! What do you think?

It's ok to parent! And while a dress on a boy doesn't affect them on a practical level, I'd argue that it does affect them on an emotional level when they are bullied or teased at school etc.

Ultimately, if you've got a little boy who want to wear dresses, you can tell him one of two things:

A. You are not a boy (because you want to wear dresses and boys don't do that).
B. Some boys like to wear dresses and that's OK.

Which of the two do you think will damage him most emotionally?

Are you also one of those parents who leave the house with an abundance of toys because you cant say 'no' to your child?

What do you mean - "also"?

What's wrong with wearing wellies when it's hot? Yes, your feet get hot, but if you're washing a dog or walking across a river or through cow dung, it makes sense. We often wore wellies (with shorts) in hot weather as children, as did our farmer father.

Don't really care about boys and men wearing dresses, either. It's just social convention. There are plenty parts of the world where it's normal for men to wear skirt or dress-like clothes and I doubt they're any less manly (whatever that really means.) I would assume those who are most bothered about it are those who care more for the opinions of others - and that does matter a lot to some people.

Sorry for the caps but people seem to be having a trouble grasping that allowing your son to wear a dress is not the same as forcing them into one. Saying "yes, alright" to a little boy wanting to wear a dress is not forcing a political agenda.

Thank you teeny for putting into words exactly what I feel.

This YouTuber makes very valid points

The dress picture was for vogue I can't imagine for a minute that he would wear it shopping. He was the first ever man to be on the cover of American vogue.
Harry Styles has pushed the style envelope in the past and been utterly ridiculed for things like floral suits. I do feel sorry for men that want to dress a little on the bright side. My husband would look great in brighter colours but has always said that his co workers would take the piss.

This wont be a popular opinion but here goes
I think most men look ridiculous in dresses.
The reason women suit dresses is because we have female shape and form which lends itself to suiting a dress.
We have have waists and hips and narrow shoulders, breasts and shapely thighs.
Men just look ridiculous.
A dress probably looks quite sweet on a little boy, but why get him used to somethin g that will just look ridiculous in him once he gets older.

What a lot of new names in FWR. Quite revealing of how embedded the gender “rules” are in many.

Every incidence of seeing adults balking at a transgression of gender “rules” adds up in kids heads. Personally I try to avoid that because I don’t want my kids joining in with nonsensical limiters. The fact that girls have had decades of ignore this nonsense and boys have not can’t be ignored as having an impact on the sexes.

Oh forgot the bum
Dresses and skirts need a female bum. It doesn't hang right at the back otherwise

We have have waists and hips and narrow shoulders, breasts and shapely thighs.

Woah. Generalise, much? So those with a lollipop body shape look ridiculous in dresses? Cheers.

How are you supposed to learn things like having sweaty feet if you're not allowed to experience that for yourself? Playing, when you are a child, is really learning about the world and yourself.

I am a parent and I did notice that my parenting skills were more (ahem) "relaxed" than some parents.

We are all different is the way I like to view this - nobody is wrong and nobody is right - we do our best, we muddle though. Some things work better than others.

I don't have strong feelings about wellies one way or the other but if my kid wanted to wear them for whatever reason - what's the harm?

I want to say l would be ok with it but something inside me makes me feel really uncomfortable when my daughter's male friend comes round and puts her dresses on. They are 9. And it might be controversial but l like my man to be manly - seeing him in a dress would be an absolute turn off.

The reason women suit dresses is because we have female shape and form which lends itself to suiting a dress.
We have have waists and hips and narrow shoulders, breasts and shapely thighs

Not all women have big hips, not all women have narrow shoulders, not all women have big breasts, not all women have shapely thighs. Some men have some of these things. There are dresses to accommodate for women who don't have the "standard" feminine form, or women who have more masculine body types, and so there could easily be dress styles that flattered male physiques also.

However, if you think dresses on men look bad then that's fine, it's a personal preference, but to suggest that it's a valid reason to stop someone from wearing the clothes they want to wear is incomprehensible.

I'd be worried about him being bullied. Children pick on anything to bully and tease about. My son went to school in a Grinch Christmas jumper and got stick because apprently the Grinch is now all over Kylie Jenner's merchandise! So, can you imagine if he wore a dress? Annoys me but no I wouldn't encourage him to wear a dress outside of the house. However, we have loads of home video footage of him dressing up in his sister's play dresses when he was younger.

Even a woman with a lollupop shape will srill look better than most men who try to wear dresses.0

Dresses and skirts need a female bum. It doesn't hang right at the back otherwise

What about women who have small bums? I think you're trying to insult men who wear dresses but a lot of the impact of that is actually hitting women who don't have physical bodies that they "should have" due to their biological femaleness according to you.

@FourPlatinumRings

We have have waists and hips and narrow shoulders, breasts and shapely thighs.

Woah. Generalise, much? So those with a lollipop body shape look ridiculous in dresses? Cheers.

I'm now thinking of Olive Oyl!

I think also by putting a man in a women's magazine the stylist had to make a statement about gender. It's got everybody talking and that's what magazines thrive on in the digital age.

"... And it might be controversial but l like my man to be manly..."

Ooh! There's a thread on that word today.

I went to a party with my other half a few years ago and we had to dress up aseachother.
He s an average looking male who usually looks nice.
He wore one of my dresses and quite frankly he looked ridiculous.
I think it was his knobbly knees, muscle ycalves and big hairy feet.
His male straight up and down shape didn't help either.
He looked ridiculous.
Men's shapes dont lend themselves to looking good in dresses.
Encouraging them to think they do so is setting them up for ridicule.
I'm entitled to an opinion.

@berrygirlie

That's potentially true, Dido. I suppose there is always a bit of a competition as to who can be the next legend amongst celebrities, and maybe wearing dresses is a part of that to a certain extent.

I think the grey dress in Vogue was very unattractive (but I don't like the square neckline ruched thing as it reminds me of the dresses I wore when I was a little girl). I don't dislike the one I've attached though - it looks a little matronly but it's my favourite out of the ones he's worn.

That is his best one.

Biology has fuck all to do with a boy playing with a truck or a girl a doll
Actually it does. There was an experiment where young chimps were given a choice of toys. The male chimps went for the trucks and the females went for the dolls.
All this 'boys wearing dresses is fine' is only a reflection on today's political agendas, with people jumping on the latest bandwagon of nonsense.
Twenty years ago, no reasonable parent would have been ok with their son dressing as a girl.
Society's values shift over time, and I am expecting this particular shift to die out in a few years.

Not all women have big hips, not all women have narrow shoulders, not all women have big breasts, not all women have shapely thighs.

...and not all women wear dresses; I know a few women (of different shapes and sizes) who really don't like them and never wear them. Which is fine, I hope!

we really couldn't have a conversation like this about an item of "male" clothing. Could we?

@ncbby

Dresses and skirts need a female bum. It doesn't hang right at the back otherwise

What about women who have small bums? I think you're trying to insult men who wear dresses but a lot of the impact of that is actually hitting women who don't have physical bodies that they "should have" due to their biological femaleness according to you.

I'm not trying to insult men who wear dresses. My automatic reaction on seeing a man wearing a dress is You look ridiculous.

It's an automatic thought process.

likeamillpond you didn't say, but were you able to dress like him without looking ridiculous?

(I'm guessing you looked great and are too modest to say..)

@Rainedere

*Absolute load of bollox. Gender is a social construct, and all things aimed at a particular gender are made by man, not nature. Biology has fuck all to do with a boy playing with a truck or a girl a doll. Did you know that until fairly recently it was normal to have male toddlers in dresses with longer hair?en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Breeching_(boys)considered completely normal and yet would be odd if it happened today. Did you also know that it's also a fairly modern concept to have girls = pink and boys = blue, and that it used to be the other way around?*

I used to agree with social constructionism up until I actually looked at studies where macaque monkeys had gendered toy preference and that even in hunter-gatherer societies these gender behaviours kind of prove that some behaviours are innate to someone's sex such as aggression, interests and sexual behaviour. Its universal in most societies including those who have had no influence from other more egalitarian societies.

I suggest you read Inferior by Angela Saini.