Would you ok your son wearing a dress?

[KristinaJup]

Candace Owens recently tweeted (in response to Harry Styles wearing a dress on a magazine cover) "Bring Back Manly Men".. amongst other things.

Who really cares if a guy wears tutus and glittery dresses? Prince was hot af in his heels and Makeup.

Imo I would have no problem with it at all if my son wanted to put on a skirt but the tweet gained a lot of traction and I saw quite a few memes and lots of fingers pointed at feminism for "ruining men"

If we carry on this way the next thing will be....women should not be wearing trousers! What do you think?

Sleeping - no I didn't buy him barbies and pink dresses. I have two older girls, so the stuff was there. If he played with it I was totally fine with it. But I'd never actively go out and buy it for him.

OK so if one simply stated 'I don't want my little boy to wear a dress because I believe its a girls item of clothes' (something many people say and think behind closed doors but darent voice for fear of being labelled all manner of things) would you simply accept it or what it be met with 'you're out of date' 'old fashioned' 'ignorant' 'uneducated' I e 'you're wrong'

I think it's similar to saying, 'I don't want my boy to be a nurse because I believe that only girls should do that.' And yes, I think it's wrong to deny a person an article of clothing because of their genitalia.

@Crystalclair

Savory- I think we are the minority!

I've seen it first hand - couple have a baby girl, pink is the anti christ! Girl becomes toddler and is not allowed to wear a dress as its "not practical". Fair enough - makes sense to me. BUT, same couple go on to have a boy. But all of the sudden the boy is running around the soft play with a sparkly dress and tights because "ohh we don't want our son to conform to stereotypes, he is free to wear what he wants"

But we all know that's not the case, because he isn't actually deciding what he wants to wear, because you are! Because you have an agenda. And I'm sure the dress in question was super practical at the softplay 🙄

You're absolutely spot on. A friend of mine did this and I'm very thankful she never asked my opinion about it...

@Crystalclair

Bigbaulbles- I'm glad that your son has a good response. But realistically that is not the case for most.

Some parents are so wrapped up in pleasing their child to the extent that they forget that in life we have to conform sometimes and can't always have our own way. Are you going to suggest when he is older, that it's fine to go for an office job in the city with a sparkly pink jacket - because he should be able to wear what he wants? No, because sometimes we have to dress for the job, wear a uniform etc.

Of course not, he's not silly and he would understand that too. Same as a girl wanting to wear a princess dress, doesn't mean she will want to as an adult for an interview. He's not questioned his uniform at school and I'm so careful not to push him either way with his choices. I think he just loves a bit glitz and glam... he also has a thanos costume and wishes he was spiderman so he's just being himself atm. I thought the rainbows and sparkles would be a phase but we're 4 years in now and I don't see it letting up. I do worry about him getting bullied, especially in high school but there's a lot of acceptance especially for the kids who are confident in their choices so I'm thankful he's a confident child as he can hold his own but I can see how for more timid children it could be very damaging

Bigbaulbles- I'm glad that your son has a good response. But realistically that is not the case for most.

Based on what data?

@bigbaublesgalore probably. We've already encountered the first "the girls wouldn't let me play because I'm a boy" in the first term of yr1.

Tbh he's quite linear in his thinking at times so I don't think he's all because I think he's socialised enough to know it's a girl item. Whereas as dress up he's not a girl, he's going pretending to be a girl.

I wouldn't be happy with my son wearing a dress any more than I would with my husband wearing one

@FourPlatinumRings

OK so if one simply stated 'I don't want my little boy to wear a dress because I believe its a girls item of clothes' (something many people say and think behind closed doors but darent voice for fear of being labelled all manner of things) would you simply accept it or what it be met with 'you're out of date' 'old fashioned' 'ignorant' 'uneducated' I e 'you're wrong'

I think it's similar to saying, 'I don't want my boy to be a nurse because I believe that only girls should do that.' And yes, I think it's wrong to deny a person an article of clothing because of their genitalia.

It wasn't so long ago women were not 'supposed' to wear trousers

Harry Styles is wearing it as a fashion statement. I doubt he does his shopping in a dress.

It wasn't so long ago women were not 'supposed' to wear trousers

Exactly.

@Time40

Harry Styles looks odd

No he doesn't. He looks bloody fantastic! He has a great fashion sense, and he knows what really suits him.

No, He really does and he really hasn't.

I think we live in fear of what might happen but if every little boy who wanted to wear pink (or whatever they chose) out in the big world wasn't told from their own parents that they shouldn't or that it's just for home then it would soon become much more normalised.

Surely telling them they can't or it's just for home only gives the message it would be shameful/wrong. Then when they see a boy out who is wearing that stuff then they're going to naturally think of those negative lessons.

We are only on this earth once and once we're in the grave it doesn't matter at all what we wore, what we liked, what Margaret next door thought so why should anyone live by that? Wear what you want, fuck what anyone else thinks, it's your life.

OK so if one simply stated 'I don't want my little boy to wear a dress because I believe its a girls item of clothes' (something many people say and think behind closed doors but darent voice for fear of being labelled all manner of things) would you simply accept it or what it be met with 'you're out of date' 'old fashioned' 'ignorant' 'uneducated' I e 'you're wrong'
I'd probably avoid using those terms, as they aren't conducive to a civil discussion. But what you're asking is would I disagree with you, which is not the same as would I silence you.
I would tell you that I thought you were wrong and say why I thought that. I would ask you questions about why you thought what you did.
What I wouldn't do is encourage others to disregard you or bully you or demand that your posts be removed. In short, I wouldn't try and silence you.
Because I think it's wrong that someone should not be allowed to express themselves purely because of the opposing views of others.

@midgebabe

I think when people say "but it's not a dress " they mean " it's the type of dress that they understand is acceptable as menswear"

It's literally not a dress, it's a gown, robe or cloak that covers the whole body length

With other clothes underneath

Nor is it figure-hugging to accentuate female curves. It's just ambiguous cloth. It's not the same, really

If my son wanted to wear something like that out, I wouldn't mind, but he'd look a bit odd, it's not typical clothing

But it's not the same as I'm wearing a poofy princess dress out the house and being outright stared at and possibly bullied

I don't think honestly anybody is debating a cloak like that image. We're talking about typically and overtly feminine dresses for boys

@SimonJT

He can wear what he likes as long as it doesn’t need ironing.

This is the best post of the week

Ds has barely been out of his galabeyas for weeks. Long frock for blokes, very comfy & he wears tracky bottoms underneath if it's cold.

We are in the ME, & ds has a strict sixth form dress code to observe for school - he's expected to be in western smart business attire.

If he wanted to wear a skirt suit to school, I'd have his back.

bushhbb

It always happens in these threads- posters think they have some sort of gotcha that dresses are mainstream wear for women because the Archbishop of Canterbury wears a "dress" or men in Scotland wear "skirts"

The reality is of course that clerical robes are not dresses in any way that a dress is a socially constructed feminised garment.

Kilts have always been a men's garment- women appropriated them.

I do think some posters are getting the wrong end of the stick however about what the OP was about. It isn't "would you encourage your son to wear a dress" but "would you not discourage him if he wanted to?"

(Although those posters do have a point that pink, sparkly, "impractical" dresses do seem to become unobjectionable if a boy wants to wear them)

Would I be ok with my son wearing a dress? Yes, I would and I wouldn't discourage him athough as he's 30 now I wouldn't have much say (they couldn't be any worse than the hideous phase he went through of wearing Adidas tracksuit bottoms bought from second hand shops, which I'm sure was a reaction to his thinking I'm snobbish. They were vile)

My DS can do as he pleases.

(Full disclosure, I've googled these images so I don't know any context or gender identity involved) but these are some men who I thought looked quite nice in a dress.

If I had a son, I'd let him wear whatever he liked if it was comfortable and practical. I'd try and put safeguards in place to protect him from danger, but I wouldn't feel it was my place to enforce he wore masculine clothes.

I’m secure enough that I really wouldn’t care if I was labelled old fashioned or ignorant etc (because I am). But young children’s brains are not fully developed till their early 20’s, so until they are of a reasonable age some decisions are mine and in most cases a fathers decision to make. I wonder how many father would be okay with their sons wearing dresses.
As for HS, celebrities will do anything for money and 5 minutes of publicity. Fakers through and through.

I really wouldn’t care if I was labelled old fashioned or ignorant etc (because I am)

You are comfortable being ignorant?

Actually with trendy stuff that will fade it’s best to watch and wait even if that means appearing ignorant.
I’m not envisioning a totally gender neutral world yet. And I’m not convinced it’s a healthy pursuit to emasculate boys.

I don't think it would be "emasculation" if it were voluntary.

I would discourage my boys - I have 3 of them. My oldest is a very good dancer, just been accepted into a prestigious dance school, and my youngest has what would be called 'girls toys'. So I am not one of these mums who thinks boys should be 'manly', whatever that means. However I have brought my children up to be proud of who they are and be confident in their own skin. I want them to be proud of being men, as I would want them to be proud of being women if they were. I also happen to be from the east end. So if my 11 year old said 'i want to wear a dress for a party', I'd tell him not to be so fucking stupid.