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Original poster

Hermes Delivery Driver Sexual Harassment

114 replies

Seatime · 27/11/2020 11:34

I'm furious, my adult daughter received a delivery today from Hermes. The delivery driver said to her 'Sexy Slippers'. My daughter did not want a sexual comment on her clothing from man 20 years older than her. I know it may sound unharmful but it was not, but my daughter felt humiliated, embarrassed and violated. She looked at her slippers afterwards as something dirty. I believe it was his intention to be creepy and shit on her experience as she was visibly happy opening the door, l was on video chat with her. She had really looked forward to the delivery because of lockdown and she had just recovered from covid. Women do not have to go outside these days to be sexually harrased. Has anyone else had sexual harrasment from delivery drivers?

OP posts:
SunsetBeetch · 27/11/2020 11:46

That is gross, I'm so sorry that happened t9 your daughter. And I think you're absolutely right about his motives. Is she going to complain?

AmandaHoldensLips · 27/11/2020 11:50

Fuck sake. When will men learn? It's not that bloody difficult.

Are you likely to be seeing him again? I find the firm statement DO NOT SAY ANYTHING TO A WOMAN THAT YOU WOULDN'T WANT SAID TO YOU BY A 6'4" MAN YOU'RE SHARING A PRISON CELL WITH sometimes helps them understand.

Do you have a contact number for him? I'd be phoning him directly and having a word.

pumpkinpie01 · 27/11/2020 11:50

My neighbour did to the point she stopped ordering things for a while, he actually turned up at her work to deliver something to someone else and asked if she was avoiding him. She had done nothing for him to think she was vaguely interested in him.

Original poster
Seatime · 27/11/2020 12:47

Thank you all for your supportive comments. I had to go for a walk to calm down. She is planning on making a complaint. It is horrid as she was so happy and ran to the door to get the delivery and he shit on it.

OP posts:
VulvaPerson · 27/11/2020 15:55

Ugh this sort of shit is far too common

Had an amazon delivery yesterday, and was in a dressing gown as was in bath when door went. Was struggling to keep it closed and just got a 'I don't mind luv' Hmm

I thought I was getting to the age where I become invisible to men..seemingly not. I just cannot imagine a female delivery driver going on like that..though no doubt one might exist so we can say 'women do it too!'

Stealhsquirrelnutkin · 27/11/2020 17:31

I was just thinking how glad I was that my local Hermes delivery person is a woman. It really does make a difference.

I really wish there was a national register of women in trades, so that we could easily find the female plumbers, gardeners, gas engineers, electricians and carpenters who hide behind their initials in the directories. (I understand why they do it, having had my share of pervy phone calls from blokes when I've made the mistake of using my full name when offering stuff for sale online.)

I'm pretty sure that there are a lot of people who would much prefer to have a female person coming into their home, rather than run the risk of finding themselves alone with one of the dodgier males.

VulvaPerson · 27/11/2020 17:39

I'm pretty sure that there are a lot of people who would much prefer to have a female person coming into their home, rather than run the risk of finding themselves alone with one of the dodgier males.

But thats sexist, its blaming all men for the bad ones, NAMALT!!!!!!!! You are nothing but a misandrist if you would rather have women. Sexist man hater.

Stealhsquirrelnutkin · 27/11/2020 18:19

Nah. Older, wiser, woman with a life time of negative experiences.

NAMALT but unfortunately a significant percentage of them are, so many in fact that precautions are in order.

Truthlikeness · 27/11/2020 18:37

@Stealhsquirrelnutkin

I was just thinking how glad I was that my local Hermes delivery person is a woman. It really does make a difference.

I really wish there was a national register of women in trades, so that we could easily find the female plumbers, gardeners, gas engineers, electricians and carpenters who hide behind their initials in the directories. (I understand why they do it, having had my share of pervy phone calls from blokes when I've made the mistake of using my full name when offering stuff for sale online.)

I'm pretty sure that there are a lot of people who would much prefer to have a female person coming into their home, rather than run the risk of finding themselves alone with one of the dodgier males.

There is - stopcocks.uk

I think they're currently expanding to other trades.

BrassicaRabbit · 27/11/2020 21:40

Your poor daughter. I totally get it about the slippers now feeling dirty to her. Our culture both enables predatory males to do what the hell they want, and then performs the cruel trick of encouraging females to internalise the blame.

Fantastic that your daughter has such a supportive mum on her side though. I think doing something proactive about it, if you are both able to, will help lift the feelings of dirt and shame.

Original poster
Seatime · 28/11/2020 06:46

Thank you all for your comments and support! I agree making a complaint is taking the power back. It shouldn't be that women should only want female workers in their homes but it it makes women safer then its worth it.

OP posts:
Original poster
Seatime · 28/11/2020 06:47

*if it

OP posts:
TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross · 28/11/2020 07:00

Our decorator is a woman and it says so on her van. I've never seen a van which says "male decorator" on the side - it just shows that she is aware of the demand for women in the trades, how many of us there are who would prefer a woman coming into their home and working, that she can actually use it as a selling point.

NewlyGranny · 29/11/2020 09:10

We have a local tiler who makes her sex clear on her van. I've had thoughts about noting the number next time I see it for some work.

Of course we're all done for once the stopcock person we've requested turns out to be a penis-having transwoman!

Original poster
Seatime · 29/11/2020 09:33

I would prefer a woman working in my home.

OP posts:
Hoppinggreen · 29/11/2020 09:37

My electrician is female. She has an all female team.

Original poster
Seatime · 29/11/2020 12:16

The female electrician team sounds great!

OP posts:
Pollypocket89 · 29/11/2020 12:19

I mean this in the nicest possible way... Has your daughter got something else going on? If it was a creepy tone or whatever I can understand it's not a nice experience but it seems like quite an overreaction to feel dirty, humiliated etc

TicTacTwo · 29/11/2020 12:19

There's a female plumbing company near me. She had a female apprentice last time I saw her working.

Original poster
Seatime · 30/11/2020 10:00

It is important in sexual harassment not to place an emphasis on the victim. A quick Google search shows sleazy behavior from delivery men, from comments, to stalking and even violence.

OP posts:
BeepBoopBop · 30/11/2020 10:17

If it were my adult daughter, I would probably encourage her to be more resilient. Sexy slippers as a stand alone comment is hardly sexual harassment... A delivery driver barely has any communication with anyone all day apart from "Hello" "Goodbye" and he was probably expecting a smile in response. He was just making chit chat and said the first thing that came to mind.

It is unfortunate that your daughter was so offended, but this type of thing is much better dealt with at the time with a response, rather than than a formal complaint to the company. Teach her to just reply "if you say so" if she must be so sensitive. I would imagine Hermes would just roll their eyes at this - and it is the drip, drip, drip of "I'm so offended" that detracts from bigger issues.

dayoftheclownfish · 30/11/2020 10:45

It's always difficult to judge a situation without having been there but I sort of agree with BeepBoopBop. Human interactions can be marred by misunderstanding and clumsiness. In terms of imbalance of power, yes, an adult male has more power than a young female, but delivery drivers are hardly at the top of the economic ladder.

I agree the comment was uncalled for but it needs to be seen in perspective (creepy comment on footwear versus comments on body part or touching). It's hard to decide in some situations whether a little bit of forgiveness and benefit of the doubt is better than a more punishing approach but I think it's always worth considering.

ItsALovelyDayToday · 30/11/2020 10:51

To all the people saying “he was just making conversation”, I guess he wouldn’t have commented on a man’s “sexiness”. So it’s targeted and sexist. Why not comment on the weather, rather than saying he finds her clothing sexually attractive? The apologists are gross. No woman should have to put up with this and then be accused of overreacting when she doesn’t like it.

CottonHeadedNinyMuggins · 30/11/2020 10:57

We once had a dpd driver who obsessed over our neighbour and was forever trying to chat her up and asking questions about her and if she had a partner etc. Carried it on even when found out she was married. Tried pressing us to get her number and info etc.

He ended up getting moved to another round after we both complained. I feel for any women he comes into contact with

ReefTeeth · 30/11/2020 11:00

So instead of teaching our dd's that these types of comments are rude we need to be teaching them to be resilient, and by your post, it sounds like you mean suck it up, brush it off?

Ffs Angry

Make the complaint, and then practice with your DD saying 'fuck off creep'. That's the sort of resilience I want my DD to have.

And women don't have to make chitchat with lonely males Hmm

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