Joe Wicks and his breastfeeding journey

[IHaveAGreyLamp]

Joe Wicks has written in his ‘Wean to 15’ weaning and cookery book about how his wife breastfed their first child. He refers to it as ‘his’ journey- ‘This is just me sharing my experience and journey’. Sorry Joe but what exactly was your breastfeeding journey?

He goes to on preach about how you should just do what’s right for you and your baby, and ignore the opinions of anyone else. Sage advice but I think I would have felt better if it had actually come from his wife (you know, the person of actual experience of breastfeeding and what it’s really like?)

There’s also a lot of ‘we did this’ and ‘we did that’, for example his wife both pumped and breastfed but ‘we found this quite challenging’. Yes Joe I’m sure you did find it quite challenging considering you were neither breastfeeding nor pumping.

I have to say I’ve found myself filled with an irrational rage reading this section of the book. Why couldn’t he have let his wife write this section, to talk about it from a breastfeeding mother’s point of view, rather than a man trying to claim something so inherently biologically female as his? Argh!

Luckily I had only been lent the book to have a look through- I would have been even more annoyed if I’d actually paid £8 to line the pockets of this smug and annoying individual!

I think it's powerful to have a popular and aspirational figure for lots of young men talking openly about and supporting breastfeeding. Maybe let's focus on that.

I read the 'my journey' thing more as a disclaimer for the inevitable backlash of people who would be equally happy to jump in to say that any support he gives to breastfeeding minimises their pain as not being able to, that 'fed is best' etc (all true but not the focus here - and it's good to hear of more dads getting involved feeding new babies full stop). He could have said 'our journey' but then it's not his wife's book and for all we know, she doesn't want to be a part of it.

Sure it's cringey but no-one needs to read it, and in the country with one of the lowest bfing rates in the world, perhaps it can help some women who would like to breastfeed but struggle due to unsupportive or clueless partners.

I get the cringing but honestly choosing to breastfeed was a decision that had a huge impact on our lives and sleep. I made the decision on my own (no way my DH would ask me to if I didn’t want to), but he did wake up several times each night to pass the baby to me, and settle her back to sleep after.. years of broken sleep, raging hormones, and doing so much other stuff to make up for my feeding her constantly. So it has had an impact on him. And physically I didn’t have pain unlike some others, just the exhaustion of always producing her food and never being able to take a break (wouldn’t take a bottle). So if my DH talked about bf I wouldn’t call him a twat - he was involved in almost all of it.

OverTheRubicon - I think it's powerful to have a popular and aspirational figure for lots of young men talking openly about and supporting breastfeeding. Maybe let's focus on that.

That's a really interesting point!

My only problem with that would be that i doubt Joe Wicks looms large in the minds of many young men, and the existence of his book even less so (i only know about him because i have a 6 year old and his book 'cos of this thread).

However - if he did influence others for the better then yes, that would be great :)

I haven’t read the book but maybe it’s more about the weaning bit?
I quite like the idea that the woman should not be solely responsible for weaning. I think that men get so used to only the Mum being able to breastfeed that they continue to expect her to deal with all feeding as the baby gets older.

As soon as other sources of nutrition are introduced why not have the man be equally involved? Good for him for promoting this.

Sooooooo..... Joe Wicks makes everything about him? I'm shocked, shocked I tell you. Nothing about his conduct to date remotely indicated that.

Next you'll be telling me he's a bit thick.

Do you think he didn't discuss the chapter with his partner? I know Joe Wicks get a lot of hate on here - for having the temerity to run online exercise classes during lockdown and raising lots of money for the NHS - but it feels a little odd to slate him for writing a chapter about his family's experience of breastfeeding unless his partner is decrying it - is she?
My DH was hardly dad of the year, but he was still involved in feeding our DCs. Whether it was getting me drinks or pillows, or trying to get them to take breastmilk from a bottle, and then discussions about weaning, etc.
Stylistically, if he'd written 'Rosie did this; she did that; Rosie felt this' - readers would ask why Rosie hadn't written it herself. If he'd written 'I did this' then readers would say 'no, you didn't because you're a man'. I'm guessing they opted for 'we' because Rosie was involved in the writing but didn't want her name on it.

I really would like to know what is required of men. I remember how little they used to do, bugger all. Now they still do bugger all but a bit less of it. There does seem to be more engagement and the language they use 'their journey' is probably what some women want to hear.

I find this throws light on the subject but it sure does throw up a strange clash

@IHaveAGreyLamp I've only read your OP and replies on this but I just wanted to say I think you're spot on!👌

Sooooooo..... Joe Wicks makes everything about him? I'm shocked, shocked I tell you. Nothing about his conduct to date remotely indicated that

Don't get me started on how he is apparently the 'nation's PE teacher' when he was briefly a TA before becoming a PT. When I see what my colleagues in PE departments do that label really annoys me.

Hipster twat.

@TheVanguardSix

This guy's really milking what was totally meant to be 15 minutes of fame. Talk about latching on. Do I get a snare for that?

You beat me to it

I think it’s very cringe

Just when you think you can't dislike somebody more.

LOL @OverTheRubicon - I can't imagine any young men reading this.

There was a poster on here a couple of weeks ago, really worried because her baby wasn't eating what fucking Joe Wicks said he should be.

I mean Joe Wicks has as many qualifications for writing parenting books as I do ie zero. Actually I have more, because my children are older.

Men writing books about raising babies when 90% of the hard work is done by women is a bloody joke.

Put him in the bin.

I admit I'm a big Joe Wicks fan, but I can't get too wound up about this. I had a horrendous bf 'journey' to the extent that I have to leave the room whenever breastfeeding is discussed because I am traumatised by it, and dp was alongside me the whole way. Yes it wasn't half as bad for him as me, but he definitely had a 'journey' as well, from taking me to hospital with an infection to sitting up with me while I cried in pain feeding night after night, bringing me food and water because I couldn't leave the sofa. Breastfeeding should involve the partner as well.

@LolaSmiles

Sooooooo..... Joe Wicks makes everything about him? I'm shocked, shocked I tell you. Nothing about his conduct to date remotely indicated that Don't get me started on how he is apparently the 'nation's PE teacher' when he was briefly a TA before becoming a PT. When I see what my colleagues in PE departments do that label really annoys me.

The PE teachers I know were very supportive of Joe Wicks so I'm sure they don't need you to be 'annoyed' on their behalf.

The breastfeeding journey is between a mother and her baby. Her partner Is hopefully supporting her but calling it his journey too is like saying the people who do tyre changes win Grand Prix races.

@Clymene it's pretty sad when a poster on a feminism board thinks it's hilariously unlikely that a young new father might ever read a book on child nutrition.

I think they'll read books on child nutrition, but not necessarily ones by someone whose main target demographic seems to be middle-aged women.

If it means more women are supported by their male partners to breastfeed then I'm all for it. JW referring to it as their bf journey is a bit annoying but if more babies get breastfed as a result that is what really matters, and his heart is in the right place.
I think there are bigger feminism fish to fry tbh.

I should also say I was only successful bf my children because I had huge support from DH, he did everything else with the kids, house etc whilst I was establishing bf, he was great and we made it work together.

@laudemio

If it means more women are supported by their male partners to breastfeed then I'm all for it. JW referring to it as their bf journey is a bit annoying but if more babies get breastfed as a result that is what really matters, and his heart is in the right place. I think there are bigger feminism fish to fry tbh.

This

Do you think it will mean more babies being breastfed?

@laudemio

If it means more women are supported by their male partners to breastfeed then I'm all for it. JW referring to it as their bf journey is a bit annoying but if more babies get breastfed as a result that is what really matters, and his heart is in the right place. I think there are bigger feminism fish to fry tbh.

I'm not actually sure that the kind of man who talks about how 'we' breastfed, 'his' breastfeeding journey etc actually is necessarily very supportive in real and concrete terms, though. I haven't had experience of it with breastfeeding but I know a man who was adamant that 'they' were having a natural birth and went on endlessly afterwards about 'their' amazing hypnobirth and it didn't strike me as at all supportive, or indeed particularly respectful of his wife.

When we had our first someone gave us that awful babywise book which made me feel like crap for feeding my baby when she cried, my DH has only known bottle feeding for his younger siblings so would have been much happier to Jack in the breastfeeding and do some bottles at night... he’s a super dad but we were both in our twenties and fairly clueless.

I think it’s easy to forget 10 years on how much you just needed sensible, friendly advice and coming from a man, a new dad might be more onboard to listen to it?