Joe Wicks and his breastfeeding journey

[IHaveAGreyLamp]

Joe Wicks has written in his ‘Wean to 15’ weaning and cookery book about how his wife breastfed their first child. He refers to it as ‘his’ journey- ‘This is just me sharing my experience and journey’. Sorry Joe but what exactly was your breastfeeding journey?

He goes to on preach about how you should just do what’s right for you and your baby, and ignore the opinions of anyone else. Sage advice but I think I would have felt better if it had actually come from his wife (you know, the person of actual experience of breastfeeding and what it’s really like?)

There’s also a lot of ‘we did this’ and ‘we did that’, for example his wife both pumped and breastfed but ‘we found this quite challenging’. Yes Joe I’m sure you did find it quite challenging considering you were neither breastfeeding nor pumping.

I have to say I’ve found myself filled with an irrational rage reading this section of the book. Why couldn’t he have let his wife write this section, to talk about it from a breastfeeding mother’s point of view, rather than a man trying to claim something so inherently biologically female as his? Argh!

Luckily I had only been lent the book to have a look through- I would have been even more annoyed if I’d actually paid £8 to line the pockets of this smug and annoying individual!

I was just having a vague muse though, I don’t really care either way.

I agree BlueSkies.

Have women (breastfeeding) only sessions (female partners - lesbian/bi can attend) and separate sessions for the men for "support learning sessions".

Bless him he is one of "them' he just tries to hard to relate to EVERY THING it must be exhausting!

If we want men to be able to support their partners they need to understand, can't see the issue myself.

I fed my 4, one was an EMCS and I woke up to find husband latching baby on, I'd told him I wanted to feed as soon as baby was born, he couldn't do that as she needed checks and such like and I needed sorting out but I was so pleased he supported me and our baby. My first memories of her are me drowsily snuggling with her as she had her first feed with dad keeping us safe.

Oh YABU

Father tries to get as involved and helpful as he can, and people get offended and he is being mocked or abused.

Father doesn't get involved enough, and people are in uproar about how it is HIS baby too.

I'd rather see a woman with a supporting partner when SHE wants him and need him, even at breastfeeding groups, than a woman left to deal with all the childhood aspect because she is female or left alone in hospital because MEN are the enemy.

We KNOW Joe Wicks didn't breastfeed, he's not pretending he did. So bit YABU

That is all well and lovely having supportive engaged partners but I do think mother's need to have something just for them and their baby of course father's are important but really a journey a faffing journey

I went to NCT classes nearly 50 years ago, we had one week that was "dad's night" Breast feeding was covered. I wonder if Ozzie Osbourne remembers? His daughter, from first marriage, was born a few weeks after my son.

That is all well and lovely having supportive engaged partners but I do think mother's need to have something just for them and their baby of course father's are important but really a journey a faffing journey It doesn't take anything away from the mother's journey, it is a different journey but still a journey.

My husband has been disabled for nearly 30 years, I'd say as his carer I've had a journey but it has been less painful than his but still my journey.

Surely anything that supports and normalises breastfeeding is a good thing? If it helps other dads to support their baby’s mother to breastfeed then I think it’s a good thing.

I've heard of him but haven't seen him or followed him so don't really know anything about him other than he does classes on line.

This guy's really milking what was totally meant to be 15 minutes of fame. Talk about latching on.
Do I get a snare for that?

The right kind of engaged dads don't find breastfeeding 'hard' - they do what they can, whenever they can, and they sit back and give space and basically are on hand.

The kind of 'engaged' dads who have issues with it have, in my experience, all been the kind of dads who love being engaged best of all when it's allllll about them.

YANBU . Daft man.

I suppose I could ask my ex DP about his breastfeeding journey seeing as he's a fat bastard who the baby tried to latch on to more times than he would have liked.

I went to NCT classes nearly 50 years ago, we had one week that was "dad's night" Breast feeding was covered. I wonder if Ozzie Osbourne remembers? His daughter, from first marriage, was born a few weeks after my son.

I think we can all confirm that Ozzy does not remember.

There are no standards or set qualifications for nutritionalist. I could set myself up as one now. Did he use a nutritionalist or a fully qualified dietitian?

He could have asked bf mother’s for their advice and included that and credited them or he could have written a piece on how you can support your breast feeding partner.

@TotoroPotoro

I'm the first to get ragey about stuff like this usually BUT DH did have his own breastfeeding journey to be fair. DC1 was an absolute nightmare feeder and DH was right alongside me all the way. Yes I pumped and produced the milk, but he would be sat up all night making sure she was spoon/syringe fed breastmilk every two hours in the night whilst I slept. He was my cheerleader, did all the sterilising, kept me fed and rested.

He absolutely had his own breastfeeding journey, despite not producing any milk himself.

I did all of that for my DD when my DP was breastfeeding (DD was ill when she was born and feeding her was a total nightmare for months).

I still don't see how it's 'my' breastfeeding journey?! Or your DH's.

It's your DH's journey of being with a newborn, for sure. But I think it's really weird to say it's anyone's breastfeeding journey but the person actually doing it.

Oh, and all the people saying 'we need dads involved bless them' ... can you not see how fucking patronising that is? 'Poor ickle wickle menz, pat thems on the head when they does good'.

@randomsabreuse

I think engaged dads find breastfeeding hard - there's a degree of guilt that they can't properly help, feeling useless (especially with first child as toddler wrangling is obviously useful)!

Why the hell would any man feel guilty they can’t BF ? I’ve never heard a woman say they feel guilty because they can’t ejaculate / pee standing up / produce small gametes / shave their face, so they have to lie down on the sofa to deal with their hurty feelings instead of making dinner.

“OOoo please centre my feelings as well as doing the work “.

There are many MANY tasks in your average household that are “ properly helping “ and don’t require you to be able to lactate. I don’t see too many fathers queueing up to do all these.

Yet we are supposed to feel sad for them that they can’t BF. Poor ickel lambs feeling excluded.

I agree that dads who support, help, are your number one cheerleader etc, obviously probably do find it challenging.
But why can't he write... "it was challenging for me to watch my wife do xyx"
"I found it hard to watch my wife tired and sore etc"
No.. By the use of "we" he has ownership over the breastfeeding.
It makes the difficulties uniform a cross both of them... When actually the challenges are very different for each parent.
Plus I love the catch all "just do what you parenting instinct tells you"
Mine told me to leave baby back at hospital and neck a bottle of gin...

@TheVanguardSix I think we can all confirm that Ozzy does not remember. And there was me thinking a chat with me about breastfeeding was probably a high light in his life. Actually I didn't know who he was, my sister told me when I was talking about the different people I met at the class so I suppose that balances it up?

@Mrsjayy

That is all well and lovely having supportive engaged partners but I do think mother's need to have something just for them and their baby of course father's are important but really a journey a faffing journey

most mothers do not WANT the newborn stage and baby care to be something "just for them"

Fathers are responsible and entitled to 50% of the care anyway

I am so bored of the women moaning they have no partner help and that men are useless but who try to keep them away as much as they can.

Thankfully there is a place for a father in the breastfeeding stage. It's NICE to have a caring and helpful partner. Even if it's only to research and suggest the best possible breast pump.

We hear enough complaints about absent fathers, let's stop resenting and mocking the ones who are involved and who make their partner happy shall we.

Yet we are supposed to feel sad for them that they can’t BF. Except that wasn't what she said was it. I always find it a bit pathetic when people have to twist what someone else has said, even worse when it is in black and white so you can see exactly what they said. Alot more pathetic than dad's wanting to be supportive of breastfeeding.

@Queenofthemadouse

WTAF 😡. I hate this bullshit. "We" are not pregnant. "We" are not breastfeeding. "We" did not give birth.

This. I get really pissed off with the whole “we” thing. The only thing “we” did was generally have a shag