Breastfeeding support group wants to allow males

[user643899]

I am in a Facebook group for breastfeeding support.

There's a new comment from admin asking if we'd be comfortable with males joining the group, then a subsequent poll.

I commented on said poll, "I am a feminist. Call me a terf. Biologically you are male or female. Feel free to identify as what you wish but you cannot change your sex. This group is for breastfeeding. Only females can breastfeed."

I was called a bigot. One comment read, "you aren't a feminist. Feminists want equality for all genders." I responded,"Equality for both sexes, yes. Female is a sex. Feminism derives from the word, female."

Now my original comment has been deleted. I daren't comment again through fear of removal.

I'm upset. This is the group I used when I had thrush. I posted pictures of the thrush on my boob. I can't be comfortable in a group made for my sex.

Can men breastfeed?

Trans men can

@Quaagars

Because women share intimate photos and stories.

Photos?! Stories yes, I get, have shared stories in the past but didn't know people took intimate pics of themselves to show others?!
Or maybe that's just me, never heard of that being a thing

I shared photos when I was in pain. They were able to tell me it was thrush. People share pictures of their latch, tandem feeding and others.

@Quaagars

Can men breastfeed?

Trans men can

Can men breastfeed?

Let me rephrase.
Can males breastfeed?

It's not a nipple-feeding support group
So you’re being picky about the word someone uses to describe the act. Sorry but that’s ridiculous. The group is to support people who are undertaking that act, not to police what word they personally choose to describe it. It’s about supporting parents in feeding their babies human milk, it’s a really hard thing to do and I wouldn’t exclude someone from accessing support just because they use a different word to describe it than I do. I would however exclude people who don’t need to be there because they aren’t undertaking that act.

So you’re being picky about the word someone uses to describe the act. Sorry but that’s ridiculous. The group is to support people who are undertaking that act, not to police what word they personally choose to describe it. It’s about supporting parents in feeding their babies human milk, it’s a really hard thing to do and I wouldn’t exclude someone from accessing support just because they use a different word to describe it than I do. I would however exclude people who don’t need to be there because they aren’t undertaking that act.

Nope, I'm not being picky. It's a breastfeeding support group for people who breastfeed.
I'm not describing it. I'm using the name of the act. Breastfeeding.

I wouldn't exclude them for that either. I would exclude anyone who isn't breastfeeding or planning to, that includes men.

Assoaciation of breast feeding mothers allows men.
Le leche league allows men, Breast feeding network allows me. The best book I read about Bf was mostly written by a man. The groups I went to were very occaionally attended by a man for 5-10 mins. Normally women. But by saying men not allowed we are saying this is a private matter. This can be used against us. 9yes it,s private so cover up and do it in private.)

@june2007

Assoaciation of breast feeding mothers allows men. Le leche league allows men, Breast feeding network allows me. The best book I read about Bf was mostly written by a man. The groups I went to were very occaionally attended by a man for 5-10 mins. Normally women. But by saying men not allowed we are saying this is a private matter. This can be used against us. 9yes it,s private so cover up and do it in private.)

Which is why I no longer use those.

Even more of a reason to have a female-only group

But by saying men not allowed we are saying this is a private matter

Thinking about it, yes, isn't it better that it isn't seen as something secret, to hide away, and to normalise breastfeeding?

@june2007

Men need to be informed, men support. I have been a association of breast feeding mothers mother suppiorter and a Le lkeche league trained peer supporter. And we supported the whole family including men. If we want to "normalies2 bf we need to include men.

No we don't.

So do we say to men it,s none of your business? Hw then do we help a father to support his partner? How then do we normalise BF in a way where boobs are not just for sex in a mans eyes?
Why then do we except advice from a male doctor but not allow men to discuss learn about bf?

Good grief. I personally don’t care if ftm trans people want to join a breastfeeding group. They are biologically female and can breastfeed so I’m sure it would be relevant. But letting Transwomen in seems bizarre full stop. There is literally no good reason for that to be allowed.

Likewise changing basic biological terminology isn’t inclusive it’s actually excluding women whose body parts are involved. I really just can’t understand what people are thinking these days.

Well maybe just maybe some women don’t want men to be in a breastfeeding group.

That’s why

The men can go to a group on how to support your partner when she is breastfeeding

Nope, I'm not being picky. It's a breastfeeding support group for people who breastfeed.
Well I’ve always called it boobing. I wouldn’t expect to be excluded for that choice. And you don’t get to tell me what to call it either.

If you were that shy you can use an alias this is online were talking about not a face to face group.

It’s colonisation.

Why do some professional s think it’s oh so cool to think that breastfeeding women have to have men in their groups

Give over and stop pandering to men

Set up a group for the interest Ed men and crack on with that

@PucePanther

Nope, I'm not being picky. It's a breastfeeding support group for people who breastfeed. Well I’ve always called it boobing. I wouldn’t expect to be excluded for that choice. And you don’t get to tell me what to call it either.

No one is being excluded based on their terminology. They're being excluded based on their sex. Hth

@june2007

If you were that shy you can use an alias this is online were talking about not a face to face group.

Shy? I'm not shy. I don't want men to be in a group for breastfeeding females.

Hmm. It is a group where you can post pictures of something which is wrong or baby's latch. Others in the group can view the pictures to learn and offer their help.

It isn't a public campaign. Tough legislation which means a woman won't be thrown off a bus or asked to feed her baby in a toilet would mean a lot more for breastfeeding mothers. Or businesses to provide facilities for expressing milk and storing it.

It doesn't appear to be about normalising breastfeeding and making it easier for breastfeeding mothers to breastfeed.

Shy. Really

What about religious women.

And really just what about women who don’t want men in their breastfeeding groups.

Jeez what is so hard to understand about that. 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

Women do not need to sacrifice their personal comfort and every personal boundary they have on the internet in order to be entitled to breastfeed outside their own home.

There is a difference between a woman breastfeeding in public and putting a close-up photo of a latch on the internet. I was very picky about where I breastfed in public, and I would have wanted limits on who could possibly see close-up pictures of my breast too.

If I needed to see a GP for a breastfeeding issue, would it be unreasonable if I was only willing to show my GP, and not an entire waiting room of men and women, too?

I am going to walk away from this thread for a bit because otherwise I will get banned. We are in a pandemic, women can't meet up with antenatal friends, normal drop-in services have gone, and all some women have left is online groups.

And on a feminism forum, you're saying women have to have men as members of a private facebook group in order to justify having the right to breastfeed in public. That right is conditional on getting the titties out for the lads on the internet, is it?

Hmm. It is a group where you can post pictures of something which is wrong or baby's latch. Others in the group can view the pictures to learn and offer their help

The posting intimate photos online for others to look at seems problematic in itself to me!
Unless OP meant they've done that in a RL group rather than a FB one, as you wouldn't know who was viewing your photos or where they'd end up if the latter...

If normalising that is the aim, surely these males could better support the normalising of breastfeeding as part of a public campaign. They won't get mastitis or suffer from a bad latch. or worry about their milk supply. I don't understand what is in it for them to be party to the photos of the breastfeeding breasts. If you rule the obvious out.

Why are some women and men so keen to break down understandable boundaries

What are they trying to achieve from this ?

That right is conditional on getting the titties out for the lads on the internet, is it?

Why are you sexualising breastfeeding? No-one else has done that on the thread, all some posters have said is that maybe normalising breastfeeding and men supporting their partners/learning about it could be a good thing.