advice on a male teacher at DDs school please

[happydappy2]

My DD in year 9 used to have a wonderful female PE teacher who went on mat leave & might not come back. Currently a young male teacher has taken over and the girls feel uncomfortable when he watches them doing PE. One of them has looked at his social media & seen who he is following on instagram....lots of female body builders who pose in skimpy barely there bikinis (as is normal for body builders) but also some young women who pose in a very sexualised way in barely there bikinis....lots of boobs & bum on show. (Not topless but good as.) One girl has asked me if that is appropriate for a teacher & I'm struggling with how I feel about this. I would have thought all teachers have to have squeaky clean social media or set it to private. I've asked the headmaster for his views but wondered what others thought-am I over reacting or is this not really OK?

This is pathetic. I stated my view, there's nothing to explain if you have a clear understanding of safeguarding. WHY the unqualified endorsement.???
I see no one is allowed to disagree with you are they?*

By the time you posted several posters had queried what the OP had done. The direct question to you was a fair point. I didn’t read the question as ambiguous but your answer certainly was.

Your comment about "no one is allowed to disagree with you" makes very little sense given I've said nothing along those lines.
The rest of your post is simply more examples of the type of posting you pretend to deplore including the "give it a rest" comment. So far as "no one being allowed to disagree with you" - try taking the plank out of your own eye.

As for safeguarding, I'm firmly of the view that a person who chose to behave in the OP did- discussing this in the way she did, with other people's children without discussing it with their parents has breached good safeguarding principles.

It's no- one's business said the OP- Why post on here then? It is most certainly the business of the other parents- far more than it is anyone's on here.

So if the subject of this thread is not safeguarding what exactly is it?

It's not, though is it? Because any criticism of the OP's motives or methods and the possibility the OP herself didn't apply good safeguarding principles is being ignored and/or ridiculed.

@DidoLamenting

So if the subject of this thread is not safeguarding what exactly is it?

It's not, though is it? Because any criticism of the OP's motives or methods and the possibility the OP herself didn't apply good safeguarding principles is being ignored and/or ridiculed.

This. 100%

This thread has become really toxic.

Was the OP correct to tell the HT that the teachers SM was open to view? YES

Does it matter what was on his SM available for all to see? YES.

Because those of us with daughters of that age do not want them to believe that the current objectification of the female body is right or acceptable in civilised society. We don't want them to feel inadequate or less than because they don't look that way or want to expose themselves similarly.

It might be "normal" to you, living in a patriarchal society, but it is not desirable for those who feel that there is more to being female than appealing to men as a sexual object.

Did they stalk the teacher's SM? NO.

Because professional standards should have applied and it should not have been available. Full stop.

So we have a young man, who appreciates publicly the objectification of the female form, teaching young girls in PE kit. No crime here.

But if the girls feel uncomfortable, and that discomfort came before the SM finding, this is a valid point.

I refuse to pick apart insults and statements from the OP to try to discredit either. I have been insulted on this thread, but to be honest, this isnt about me. I consider far more important, the lurkers, who might just think all year 9 girls are bitches, not to trust intuition etc.

There needs to be a more genuine engagement with the individuals to determine whether this has grounding. Not squeals that either are innocent, or either is beyond reproach.

So far what we do know is that he had his SM open.
The SM had sexualised images of non sporting young women.
The teacher is now teaching young vulnerable girls PE.
The girls feel uncomfortable with the way he looks at them.

Insufficient to conclude saint or sinner, but enough to get many parents asking for details. Correctly so.

Because those of us with daughters of that age do not want them to believe that the current objectification of the female body is right or acceptable in civilised society. We don't want them to feel inadequate or less than because they don't look that way or want to expose themselves similarly

Don't let them have social media then! Fgs!

Mine don't!

@happydappy2

yawn........you not anything better to do? STILL?

I thought this was an important,concerning issue to you that you needed advice and opinions on?

You asked for validation of your opinion and actions repeatedly.

Does it matter what was on his SM available for all to see? YES.

Because those of us with daughters of that age do not want them to believe that the current objectification of the female body is right or acceptable in civilised society. We don't want them to feel inadequate or less than because they don't look that way or want to expose themselves similarly.

Absolutely he shouldn’t have his SM available to view. That has been addressed. And the head has dealt with that.

The second paragraph. Keep your daughters off social media then. It is what it is on social media and is very common.

You don’t know if those young women are just friends of his. It may be, on his part, entirely innocent.

There needs to be a more genuine engagement with the individuals to determine whether this has grounding. Not squeals that either are innocent, or either is beyond reproach.

The op has not done any of this. She went to the head solely about the SM and hasn’t even informed the parents of the children who came to her that there are concerns. She has kept that from the parents. Which is wrong in my view.

@chickenyhead

Mine don't!

Then they won't see what's on his Instagram will they?!?!

Kcar This thread is not about me-I was asking for opinions on the teachers SM profile. Stop trying to make it about me & what I have or haven't done. It's so transparent this narrative of 'attack the person raising concerns.'

I won't go into details with you as I've previously explained.

@Noideawottodo

Because those of us with daughters of that age do not want them to believe that the current objectification of the female body is right or acceptable in civilised society. We don't want them to feel inadequate or less than because they don't look that way or want to expose themselves similarly

Don't let them have social media then! Fgs!

You don't need to "have" social media to be able to see what a teacher has posted on social media on his non-private account.

This teacher fucked up.

He's lost the trust of the girls he teaches, and likely some of their parents. His own fault.

Oh really? How's that then? Just use your friends instead?

@Noideawottodo

Mine wouldn't, no. But I didn't write this post. Does that mean I am not entitled to an opinion?.

Let's not all pretend that the objectification of women in society is limited to SM. It is so disingenuous as to be laughable.

Television, advertising, page 3, music lyrics/videos, magazines...it is everywhere. It is the duty of parents to educate their children that this objectification is wrong.

Television, advertising, page 3, music lyrics/videos, magazines...it is everywhere. It is the duty of parents to educate their children that this objectification is wrong

This is a different issue.

I presume you don't have woke teens in that case as what you are saying sounds like what dd2 would call 'slut shaming'.

@Noideawottodo

Television, advertising, page 3, music lyrics/videos, magazines...it is everywhere. It is the duty of parents to educate their children that this objectification is wrong

This is a different issue.

I presume you don't have woke teens in that case as what you are saying sounds like what dd2 would call 'slut shaming'.**

Excuse me?

I pass no judgement on women dressing how they choose to. But when it becomes an expectation, there is an issue.

I'm not sure I wish to engage with you any further. You are coming across badly perhaps. Text can do that.

”...Because trust me, I'd be more concerned about the teachers who do make everything private...”

@ariettesmall - teachers are TOLD to make their social media private!

Either you are saying that teachers should not be allowed to have social media, or you think it is sensible for teachers’ social media accounts to be open to their pupils, with all the safeguarding concerns that would bring - not to mention the risks to teachers’ privacy.

”I find it quite extraordinary that you feel you have rights over this mans SM.”

@Motherofthreequeens - I wouldn't see it @happydappy2 wanting rights over the teacher’s social media - as far as I am aware, it is pretty much accepted policy within schools that teachers’ social media should be private, and this teacher clearly needed to be reminded of this.

happydappy2

You have done the right thing. If it is a piece of a bigger picture it might be an important piece.

It was very much like that with the prolific paedophile teacher I mentioned earlier.

@happydappy2

Kcar This thread is not about me-I was asking for opinions on the teachers SM profile. Stop trying to make it about me & what I have or haven't done. It's so transparent this narrative of 'attack the person raising concerns.'

I won't go into details with you as I've previously explained.

You can't be extracted from the thread. You initiated the approach to the head and initiated or encouraged the conversations with the children . You started throwing out accusations that posters were men.

You, despite all your concerns about safeguarding, refuse to answer the very simple question- did you discuss this with the parents of the children with whom you were discussing this? If you didn't, you yourself, in my opinion are not applying good safeguarding principles.

@Ritasueandbobtoo9

happydappy2

You have done the right thing. If it is a piece of a bigger picture it might be an important piece.

It was very much like that with the prolific paedophile teacher I mentioned earlier.

But OP didn't even mention the girls feeling uncomfortable with him. Just the SM thing, which was easily resolved and probably dismissed. She painted a very small picture,for someone that concerned.

@ComeOnBabyHauntMyBubble - in her OP, @happydappy2 says:

”...Currently a young male teacher has taken over and the girls feel uncomfortable when he watches them doing PE...”

[quote SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius]**@ComeOnBabyHauntMyBubble* - in her OP, @happydappy2* says:

”...Currently a young male teacher has taken over and the girls feel uncomfortable when he watches them doing PE...”[/quote]
But @SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius that’s not what she took to the head. The Only concern she took to the head was the insta following one.

And she has not told the parents of the children that they have expressed concern to her.

That’s wrong.

She should have told the parents, and gone to the head with her dd if her dd was one of those the teacher made uncomfortable.

She didn’t do that.

[quote chickenyhead]****@Noideawottodo**

Television, advertising, page 3, music lyrics/videos, magazines...it is everywhere. It is the duty of parents to educate their children that this objectification is wrong

This is a different issue.

I presume you don't have woke teens in that case as what you are saying sounds like what dd2 would call 'slut shaming'.**

Excuse me?

I pass no judgement on women dressing how they choose to. But when it becomes an expectation, there is an issue.

I'm not sure I wish to engage with you any further. You are coming across badly perhaps. Text can do that.[/quote]
Really? I presume you don't understand what I'm saying.

If you have teenage girls you will find that a lot of them don't appreciate us old school feminists saying women shouldn't wear bikinis and 'objectifying' clothing.

Google slut- shaming.

@Noideawottodo

Oh I see. I didn't misunderstand you at all.

I do not consider scantily clad women to be sluts, this is your wording.

A woman should be able to dress as she chooses, I believe that I have already stated that.

The objectification of womens bodies by others, the promotion of that and arising expectation that occurs as a consequence, I do have issue with.

I believe that you are simply seeking to attack people.

I don't agree with men who visit prostitutes, I don't believe that you can buy consent. That does not mean that I consider prostitutes to be bad people. Quite the opposite.

I do not consider scantily clad women to be sluts, this is your wording

No it isn't! It's a phrase. Jarring, I know.

Where is everyone getting the idea that teachers are told to keep SM private? In 24 years of teaching I have never been told this or advised this. We are asked not to make 'friends' with current students. Thats it..