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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

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Original poster

advice on a male teacher at DDs school please

511 replies

happydappy2 · 04/11/2020 12:48

My DD in year 9 used to have a wonderful female PE teacher who went on mat leave & might not come back. Currently a young male teacher has taken over and the girls feel uncomfortable when he watches them doing PE. One of them has looked at his social media & seen who he is following on instagram....lots of female body builders who pose in skimpy barely there bikinis (as is normal for body builders) but also some young women who pose in a very sexualised way in barely there bikinis....lots of boobs & bum on show. (Not topless but good as.) One girl has asked me if that is appropriate for a teacher & I'm struggling with how I feel about this. I would have thought all teachers have to have squeaky clean social media or set it to private. I've asked the headmaster for his views but wondered what others thought-am I over reacting or is this not really OK?

OP posts:
DownThePlath · 05/11/2020 14:20

@Imnobody4

DownThePlath Well yes means yes I know. And my other comment was about the fact safeguarding has been discussed a million times already.

So if the subject of this thread is not safeguarding what exactly is it?

But everyone already knows this. So I don't get why you're asking me about it.
Imnobody4 · 05/11/2020 14:31

@Imnobody4

OP you have done exactly the right thing and have no need to justify or explain your position. Safeguarding in schools is crucially important and I am pleased to hear the Head's response was sensible and proportional unlike a number of the posters whose responses are anything but.
DownThePlath Now I'm totally confused. I posted the above and you responded. I did not comment or engage with you personally prior to this. I will assume you have made an error.
DidoLamenting · 05/11/2020 14:35

@Imnobody4

DidoLamenting

As for "talking rubbish" - is that your take on having a different opinion?
Not at all, I'm refering to strawmen arguments, reductio ad absurdum,
ad hominem, etc arguments encased in a general accusatory, hectoring tone and insinuations of bad faith.

And are posts which don't wholeheartedly endorse the OP "rubbish"?

You raised safeguarding. I think the apparent lack of communication with the parents of the other children is a safeguarding issue. I'm a parent. I would not be happy with the OP having the conversations she had with these children with my child behind my back Is that "rubbish"?

Original poster
happydappy2 · 05/11/2020 14:35

@ariettesmall

she's encouraging children to make snap adverse judgements with no basis.

This. 100%.

blame the Mother-for the fact a grown man who holds the position of a teacher, didn't keep his SM private-how original.
OP posts:
Noideawottodo · 05/11/2020 14:38

NiceGerbil you are being goady and accused pps of somehow having an unhealthy interest in men looking at scantily clad young girls. That's pretty nasty, however much you pretend you are laughing.

DidoLamenting · 05/11/2020 14:43

blame the Mother-for the fact a grown man who holds the position of a teacher, didn't keep his SM private-how original

I'm questioning you why you never thought to ask any questions about what he was doing wrong in watching his class. You've never answered that. You were quite happy that watching his pupils was sufficiently wrong with no further thought.

You've also ignored all questions about whether you discussed this with the parents of the other children. I assume you didn't. For some one apparently so keen on safeguarding it seems an extraordinary position to discuss this behind the backs of other parents.

DidoLamenting · 05/11/2020 14:46

Not at all, I'm refering to strawmen arguments, reductio ad absurdum,
ad hominem, etc arguments encased in a general accusatory, hectoring tone and insinuations of bad faith

Well there are certainly examples of this on here. It's a matter of personal opinion of course as to which.

DownThePlath · 05/11/2020 14:52

@Imnobody4
Jesus, I said "why's that" to your comment "I am pleased to hear the Head's response was sensible and proportional unlike a number of the posters whose responses are anything but". As in, why are other poster's comments not proportional. You then replied asking me if I knew was safeguarding was.

Original poster
happydappy2 · 05/11/2020 14:57

Dido I am in discussions with the HT, it is up to him what he does with the information-he has a duty of care.

Some questions I'm not answering because its not anyones business. I don't know you.

OP posts:
DidoLamenting · 05/11/2020 15:00

[quote DownThePlath]@Imnobody4
Jesus, I said "why's that" to your comment "I am pleased to hear the Head's response was sensible and proportional unlike a number of the posters whose responses are anything but". As in, why are other poster's comments not proportional. You then replied asking me if I knew was safeguarding was.[/quote]
It was perfectly clear what you were saying. The responses you got are an example of the type of posting Imnobody4 was criticising other posters for.

Motherofthreequeens · 05/11/2020 15:02

@happydappy2

Dido I am in discussions with the HT, it is up to him what he does with the information-he has a duty of care.

Some questions I'm not answering because its not anyones business. I don't know you.

Your not really in discussions are you?

You said you reported him to head.
Head sent out comms regarding SM use.

That’s it.

Such a bizarre thread...

DidoLamenting · 05/11/2020 15:06

Some questions I'm not answering because its not anyones business. I don't know you

You don't know anyone here- why bother posting at all? As for no-one's business?. It's often said on here "safeguarding is everyone's business"

However your refusal to answer tells me what I asked. You didn't discuss this with the other parents. In my view that is a safeguarding issue. I would not be at all happy with you speaking to my child behind my back.

.

Motherofthreequeens · 05/11/2020 15:08

I find it quite extraordinary that you feel you have rights over this mans SM.

It really is nothing to do with you.

Codexdivinchi · 05/11/2020 15:09

It’s total BS

Imnobody4 · 05/11/2020 15:10

DownThePlath

Jesus - maybe don't ask ambiguous questions, it wastes everyone's time. I was addressing the OP. Are you really expecting me to go through this entire thread itemising all the disproportionate comments that have been made.

I have no wish to be trapped in one a Dante's circles of hell for the rest of the day.

CorianderBlues · 05/11/2020 15:11

@DidoLamenting

Some questions I'm not answering because its not anyones business. I don't know you

You don't know anyone here- why bother posting at all? As for no-one's business?. It's often said on here "safeguarding is everyone's business"

However your refusal to answer tells me what I asked. You didn't discuss this with the other parents. In my view that is a safeguarding issue. I would not be at all happy with you speaking to my child behind my back.

.

And CERTAINLY not about unsuitable "boobs and bums" instagram posts. That's a bit... groomy.
Imnobody4 · 05/11/2020 15:25

DidoLamenting
However your refusal to answer tells me what I asked. You didn't discuss this with the other parents.

Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence. I wouldn't answer you either, your sense of entitlement is pretty gargantuan.

DidoLamenting · 05/11/2020 15:47

[quote DownThePlath]@Imnobody4
Jesus, I said "why's that" to your comment "I am pleased to hear the Head's response was sensible and proportional unlike a number of the posters whose responses are anything but". As in, why are other poster's comments not proportional. You then replied asking me if I knew was safeguarding was.[/quote]
There was nothing ambiguous in DownThePlath's question. You gave an enthusiastic approval of what the OP did. I read the question as "why did you say that?" "Why the unqualified endorsement?"

If anything was ambiguous, it was your response which comes down to "it's safeguarding innit"? as if nothing more needed to be said.

DidoLamenting · 05/11/2020 15:53

@Imnobody4

DidoLamenting However your refusal to answer tells me what I asked. You didn't discuss this with the other parents.

Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence. I wouldn't answer you either, your sense of entitlement is pretty gargantuan.

Well, well, so much for safeguarding. In my view the OP's conduct is not a good example of safeguarding. You have been banging on about safeguarding but now refuse to discuss it.

Oh and nice use of hyperbole there and a good example of exactly the sort of post you were criticising earlier.

Imnobody4 · 05/11/2020 16:05

DidoLamenting
I read the question as "why did you say that?" "Why the unqualified endorsement?"
This is pathetic. I stated my view, there's nothing to explain if you have a clear understanding of safeguarding. WHY the unqualified endorsement.???
I see no one is allowed to disagree with you are they?

For all your people are entitled to disagree, have a different opinion platitudes you demand that other people have to justify their opinions to your satisfaction. You are even insisting the person who started this thread is somehow accountable to you. Give it a rest.

Kcar · 05/11/2020 16:06

The OP’s story of who told her what has changed through the thread.

The who told her is important as if it was one of the girls the op could have asked them what made them feel uncomfortable. Instead of which it was a boy telling the op who had been told by one of the girls and who then went looking for the teacher on SM.

It’s all a bit Chinese whispers.

The op is not “in discussions” with the head. There’s nothing to discuss. She complained, the head told the teacher to tighten up his privacy. What’s to discuss?

I am very uncomfortable with the op not making the parents of the children aware of what has been going on. I think she has a duty to tell the other parents.

And quite honestly the vile accusations at me are what is of gargantuan proportions and that poster who insinuated that I was a paedophile with a prurient interest in looking at young girls is absolutely goading and trolling and completely and utterly wrong.

ComeOnBabyHauntMyBubble · 05/11/2020 16:10

@happydappy2

Dido I am in discussions with the HT, it is up to him what he does with the information-he has a duty of care.

Some questions I'm not answering because its not anyones business. I don't know you.

So your main issue is who he follows on Instagram and that his profile wasn't private?

No concern over why the girls felt uncomfortable or how to deal with that?

Well great! Problem solved then. You told the head,the head reminded staff about SM privacy setting and everyone's happy and settled now.

Right?

Original poster
happydappy2 · 05/11/2020 16:13

yawn........you not anything better to do? STILL?

OP posts:
whoareyouIwonder · 05/11/2020 16:17

@happydappy2

yawn........you not anything better to do? STILL?
Quite clearly you haven't either going by how many times you've adapted your story to suit your distorted views.
Kcar · 05/11/2020 16:18

And for the record. All I meant by saying he could go on holiday and look at women in bikinis was that it’s a normal thing for young women to wear bikinis. It’s not as if he was following anyone inappropriate.

Fuckssake. No wonder people are put off posting in feminism.