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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Feminism: chat

Original poster

advice on a male teacher at DDs school please

511 replies

happydappy2 · 04/11/2020 12:48

My DD in year 9 used to have a wonderful female PE teacher who went on mat leave & might not come back. Currently a young male teacher has taken over and the girls feel uncomfortable when he watches them doing PE. One of them has looked at his social media & seen who he is following on instagram....lots of female body builders who pose in skimpy barely there bikinis (as is normal for body builders) but also some young women who pose in a very sexualised way in barely there bikinis....lots of boobs & bum on show. (Not topless but good as.) One girl has asked me if that is appropriate for a teacher & I'm struggling with how I feel about this. I would have thought all teachers have to have squeaky clean social media or set it to private. I've asked the headmaster for his views but wondered what others thought-am I over reacting or is this not really OK?

OP posts:
Kcar · 05/11/2020 12:59

Why if it was weeks ago and the school have dealt with it is the op posting it now?

Original poster
happydappy2 · 05/11/2020 13:01

Oh bless you two - soooo many questions/deflections

OP posts:
Imnobody4 · 05/11/2020 13:06

OP you have done exactly the right thing and have no need to justify or explain your position.
Safeguarding in schools is crucially important and I am pleased to hear the Head's response was sensible and proportional unlike a number of the posters whose responses are anything but.

CorianderBlues · 05/11/2020 13:12

@happydappy2

Oh bless you two - soooo many questions/deflections
You appear to be trolling now. You want advice but are being exceptionally cagey about answers.
DidoLamenting · 05/11/2020 13:17

@happydappy2

Oh bless you two - soooo many questions/deflections
You are the one who chucked in the "ooh you are all men" bit- now it's merely a deflection.

It's bizarre on a supposedly forum which presumably discourages stereotypes that posters cannot cope with opinions which don't accord with what they think women ought to think.

As for questions- questions are good but by your own admission it never occurred to you to ask any questions about what the teacher was doing beyond watching the pupils in his class.

Here's another question you've avoided. You have been discussing this with at least 2 children who aren't your children. Have you discussed this with their parents? I certainly would not be happy that a parent had behaved the way you did in relation to my child.

DownThePlath · 05/11/2020 13:23

@Imnobody4

OP you have done exactly the right thing and have no need to justify or explain your position. Safeguarding in schools is crucially important and I am pleased to hear the Head's response was sensible and proportional unlike a number of the posters whose responses are anything but.
Why's that?
CorianderBlues · 05/11/2020 13:25

Here's another question you've avoided. You have been discussing this with at least 2 children who aren't your children. Have you discussed this with their parents? I certainly would not be happy that a parent had behaved the way you did in relation to my child.

Quite agree. Its weird behaviour.

NiceGerbil · 05/11/2020 13:26

I never said you wanted to look at women on the beach, kcar!

Simply that it seems a bit odd to defend this man (who no one knows) from being banned from going on holiday abroad (how?) because he will naturally go and look at women on the beach (maybe he prefers to go skiing or hiking?!) and anonymous women on the internet can totally stop him leaving the country Grin

That post was hilarious. Seems there are quite a few posters keen to congratulate you for protecting him from being prevented from leaving the country though. Phew!

Kcar · 05/11/2020 13:27

You’re trolling me and goading me. I thought that was against the rules.

Imnobody4 · 05/11/2020 13:28

DidoLamenting
It's the halo effect. Assuming women aren't as capable of talking rubbish as men.
If your advice is talk to other parents, why can't you just say that, you're not the Grand Inquisitor.

NiceGerbil · 05/11/2020 13:29

What?

You made a comment that struck me as very silly.

Why shouldn't I respond?

Kcar · 05/11/2020 13:31

You’ve insinuated I’m an abusive pervert and now you’re laughing at me.

That is a disgusting way to behave.

I was explaining why the op was overreacting and how I couldn’t see much wrong in what the teacher has done.

You are beneath contempt. I’m female. I am not some sort of perverted paedophile as you are insinuating.

Imnobody4 · 05/11/2020 13:31

DownThePlath
You don't agree with safeguarding? or you've never heard of safeguarding?

NiceGerbil · 05/11/2020 13:38

What?

I have said that it's odd for a to think random women on the internet are going to try to ban a young man who has not been identified from going on holiday abroad. In case he looks at women on the beach when he gets there.

Because where did that idea even come from? It was a very silly post.

Kcar · 05/11/2020 13:39

You insinuated I was an abusive perverted paedophile.

That is disgusting.

DidoLamenting · 05/11/2020 13:39

@Imnobody4

DidoLamenting It's the halo effect. Assuming women aren't as capable of talking rubbish as men. If your advice is talk to other parents, why can't you just say that, you're not the Grand Inquisitor.
I had raised the point about other parents before. The OP has ignored it. Why does that make me the "Grand Inquisitor"? The OP only wants to hear validation that what she did was correct.

As for "talking rubbish" - is that your take on having a different opinion?

DownThePlath · 05/11/2020 13:40

@Imnobody4

DownThePlath You don't agree with safeguarding? or you've never heard of safeguarding?
Yes. That's already been discussed.
DidoLamenting · 05/11/2020 13:47

Imnobody4 you seem keen on safeguarding yet, if I'm interpreting your last reply to me, I'm a "Grand Inquisitor talking rubbish" for asking the OP if she discussed this with the parents of the other children.

How is her lack of communication with the other parents not in itself a safeguarding issue? Either she has a genuine concern, which she isn't passing on to allow them to deal with, or , and this is my take on it, she's encouraging children to make snap adverse judgements with no basis.

Imnobody4 · 05/11/2020 13:47

DownThePlath
I haven't a clue what you are trying to say.

whoareyouIwonder · 05/11/2020 13:48

Just to clarify OP, what exactly has the teacher done wrong?

Are you annoyed he is liking photographs of women who chose to take these photographs and chose to place them online?

Are you annoyed he didn't have a private social media account?

Because trust me, I'd be more concerned about the teachers who do make everything private.

whoareyouIwonder · 05/11/2020 13:49

she's encouraging children to make snap adverse judgements with no basis.

This. 100%.

Imnobody4 · 05/11/2020 14:00

DidoLamenting

As for "talking rubbish" - is that your take on having a different opinion?
Not at all, I'm refering to strawmen arguments, reductio ad absurdum,
ad hominem, etc arguments encased in a general accusatory, hectoring tone and insinuations of bad faith.

DownThePlath · 05/11/2020 14:04

@Imnobody4

DownThePlath I haven't a clue what you are trying to say.
Well yes means yes I know. And my other comment was about the fact safeguarding has been discussed a million times already.
DownThePlath · 05/11/2020 14:05

@ariettesmall

she's encouraging children to make snap adverse judgements with no basis.

This. 100%.

Amen
Imnobody4 · 05/11/2020 14:18

DownThePlath
Well yes means yes I know. And my other comment was about the fact safeguarding has been discussed a million times already.

So if the subject of this thread is not safeguarding what exactly is it?